Watching porn means taking your girlfriend for granted.

About a week ago I relapsed into habitual use, today I have so far abstained from porn (although it's only 10am!) and am going through withdrawals again. I've had to be on the computer to fill out job applications and practice a little Javascript, and felt the temptations to hop on a porn site out of frustration, so instead I'll take a minute to write here.

I've recently been lucky enough to find myself dating a very beautiful woman who I'm highly compatible with and have the foundation of eight years of prior friendship with. I was free of porn for months when we started dating, but after a relapse a week ago or so, I've already noticed some significant issues that upon realization, make me want to recommit to nofap immediately.

Decreased interest in her as a person

Ever since my mild relapse, I've noticed I'm not quite as talkative with her, leaving her to perform most of the conversation. This is bad because asking her personal questions should be very exciting to me, and I should be excited at the prospect of meeting her family members and getting to know them better but instead I find reasons not to.

Too eager to "get laid"

When I was just dating her, I was happy to just have her company going to the places I like going and doing the things I enjoy doing, and knowing she was having fun too. Now the thought of how much I want her in bed creates such anticipation, that I feel it blinds me to the times we're making memories together.

Feeling general anxiety and depression, negatively affecting our quality time

Girls can't stand a guy who deals with depression, and while I deal with it anyway, porn use makes it much worse and causes the symptoms to be unmanageable, turning an otherwise good day into something lifeless. My girl and I love to enjoy life, and we both have to turn our keys at the same time, which means I can't engage in something which makes my depression flare up and weigh me down.

Unrealistic expectations

My girl is pretty hot, but it's hard to compete for my brain's attention when I have access to pictures of insanely sexy women who likely have personal fitness trainers and get themselves all ready for the camera, and I can have as many of them as I want, and I can do so while she's at work or at school. It's unfair to her and to myself, it does no one any good when I'm wishing she was more tone, or if this aspect of her body was different, etc. She is how she comes and there isn't a whole heck of a lot she can do to change her body. She is sexy though, and if I abstain from porn I'll see that with much more clarity.

Anyway, those are my personal observations on how even relapsing for a week or so can have negative consequences on a relationship. I haven't even touched on how I hate the fact that I'm lying to her, part of the reason she broke up with her ex was because he was a PMO addict who showed very little interest in her. I know she'd be hurt if she found out I was looking at porn pics, and may even take it personally. Nofap, ftw.

 

Thanks for reading my post, and for your beautiful reply. Your girlfriend's really lucky, there are too many guys out there who just don't appreciate a good woman. Thanks to porn and photoshopped models, men often do not have the neural sensitivity to even detect a woman's beauty, or to get high from her scent, or aroused by her warm touch. Staying clean is worth all the withdrawals, and I think I was fortunate to be single when I started Nofap with absolute commitment. I can only encourage you to keep it up no matter what, even when you feel nauseous and depressed. Because at a certain point, that neural sensitivity and that "luvvy-duvvy" feeling is so powerful that PMO just seems absolutely BORING compared to just cuddling, or even hugging your girl.

I've put a picture of my girl on my computer desk to remind me, and this way too, if I try to hop on a porn site, I'll feel like she's watching me.

 

I never actually PMO, I just edge or look at porn, or read erotica, and I want to stop all three behaviors entirely. I think the fact that I engage in these escape behaviors even though I'm in a healthy, sexual relationship is because of something else missing in my life, and that "something" is unfulfilled career ambitions, an issue I need to work with instead of edging, sleeping, or smoking dope.

So to the guys saying "at least you've got a girlfriend," trust me when I say I completely understand where you're coming from, and when you've conquered your habit, I sincerely hope you find a girl who's right for you in every way. What this proves, however, is that even with adequate sexual satisfaction the urge to use porn, edge, or other forms of self-gratification as a means of numbing oneself can still be present if the underlying issues aren't dealt with. For me that means working at my career, which means finding a job, learning some programming basics, and working to get into school.