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Just need to vent

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by shutdown66, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. shutdown66

    shutdown66 Fapstronaut

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    Hello NoFap

    I am a viewer of this board from time-to-time.

    I am a 32 year old male and I have been addicted to PMO since I was 10 years old, for the first 15 years of that I probably was a happy fool, unaware of the destruction I was doing to my brain and health and also viewpoints.

    Fast foward to around the age of 28, I found out about NoFap and have pretty much been on "NoFap" since then, my highest streak has only been 28 days but I have also managed a few 15 days here and there.

    Recently however I am in the total throws of addiction, I can barely get to 3 days without this forceful need to jack off to Porn.

    I am getting a little upset about it, because I know how destructive it is yet it feels that I am unable to stop.

    I am in a wonderful relationship with a super girl, I am having sex on a regular basis (not as regular as I hope as its long distance) but I am in a sexually active relationship none the less and I know she loves me and I love her.... but PMO addiction, jesus guys.... its getting me down.

    I've done things such as change my diet, I don't exercise due to my job being of a very heavy physical nature.... I also have a creative outlet.


    BUT still I PMO???


    I need your help guys, I re-started a streak this morning, I need all of your best tips.


    Much obliged,
     
  2. Time to ask yourself some serious questions. What am I really looking for? Why is this pic/movie whatever attractive? What do I fantasise when I see this? How is this making me feel better? Hope you can avoid PMO but let's be real. Next time, change the routine,pause and ask some searching questions. An accountability partner may help.
     
  3. AChosenPeople

    AChosenPeople Fapstronaut

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    If an ex 18year old bum like I was could do it, you can, too.
     
  4. shutdown66

    shutdown66 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your replies.

    I'm just having a hard time of it lately.... I mean I feel like I am brainwashed by it, that it's zapping my life-force and deteriorating my soul and mind.

    I just get triggered every 2 days by something totally minor.

    How does one avoid getting triggered by the smallest of things, especially when PMO kills will-power
     
  5. Hey shutdown66, I can totally relate to this feeling. It is almost as if we do not have a choice in the matter and then we being to lose hope.

    Have you talked to anyone else about your addiction? This is incredibly hard to do, but if you are finding that you are not able to do it yourself, it may be time to let someone else into your life.
     
  6. shutdown66

    shutdown66 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I've spoken to a few friends, even brought it up briefly with my girlfriend, but I think its more or less one of those things you as an individual need to conquer.

    For me say when I have had a 10 day streak, I feel okay, but it feels like my body wants to explore, even with cold showers, breathing meditations and such stuff.... I kind feel my addiction is too deep so to speak, its like a behaviour pattern which is exceptionally hard to break... I try and especially this time, want to reach at least a 30 day goal.

    I am just fearful what this is doing to my brain and body, not too mention psychologically.

    Thankfully I haven't had any weird fetishes pop up, but I feel this is killing my chi energy so to speak.
     
  7. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

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    get out of the house and stay out of the house, come back when you are tired and ready to sleep.
     
  8. I do not mean to doubt you or your capabilities, but you simply cannot do this alone my friend. Your mind got you into this mess, so how do you expect it to get you out? Talk to someone you trust, open up to them wholeheartedly, explain to them why you feel the way you do, and ask for accountability. The step towards communion takes courage, but it is the best if not the only way to recovery.
     
    shutdown66 likes this.

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