I need some support

The journey to be free from PMO is long and dreary. No matter how many times you relapse, you are still human and humans make mistakes. It's part of who we are- NOBODY'S perfect. Awesome streak you had going there; I'm on day four and looking forward to the future. Don't let this beat you up too much LongWayHome, if you were perfect you would not be on here asking for support. That's why this site is here: to support each other and lift each other from the depths. No matter how shitty you may feel, there are people in this world who have it 10 times worse at this very moment. This is more or less a drop in the massive lake of life. Take things into perspective. There is LOTS of life yet to live. Peace bro

 

What's next that's a very good question.
that's essentially the whole reason why people think fapping is okay. They don't see the point of living without some sort of enjoyment. And they use fapping as just that - another way of feeling good.
But here's the problem. Fapping, while giving you enjoyment in the short term, doesn't give you enjoyment in the long run. It has negative side effects. Like drugs.
So if you want long term enjoyment in life, you have to cut out fapping. If you want more energy, time, and not be addicted to lust after the opposite sex, you have to cut it out.
Good luck and don't touch that penis.

 

LongWayHome: I was "sober" for 101 days, then I MOed, then 5 days later I relapsed again.

I can't give you a better response than NoFapAsian, but I can say from my own personal experience that no matter how bad are your personal problems, fapping is only going to turn them worst, as at least without fapping you have time and energy to do as much as you can within your power to improve your personal situation.

You're human, not the first one in that situation (relapsing after a long streak) and certainly not the last one. You're not back to zero: 50 days is an amazing accomplishment. Your body is readapting to the new situation. Just don't go back to your previous state, as I know -personally, again- that the temptation is big, when we start to think "what's the point?" The point is your life, brother, to live a better, meaningful life.

Don't give up and don't lose hope.

Galaxim.

 

Have you considered changing your goal from 30 to 10 days? I don't know what you did before, but at least that's how I reached my periods of abstinence/recovery: 10 days, then another 10 days... and so on.

Quoting solideo (http://nofapsolideo.wordpress.com) from his blog:

"I decided to run it as an experiment – ten days to start with. I’ve read that there is a temporary boost of testosterone on the seventh day after stopping, so I was interested to see if Day 7 was noticeably harder than Days 5 and 6. Then I was interested to see how Days 8-10 were. I figured if I could handle the 8th-10th days (which I thought would be hard mode), I should be good to go 90 days, or forever. So in I went, keeping a journal every night of whether I found the day hard, where my head was at, how my mood was generally, whether there were any random sexual thoughts or visual stimulation that caused a feeling of arousal etc. And it was a great success. There were a few times in the first week when I felt quite aroused, or had a real longing to masturbate, but I just rode it out and turned my mind to other things, and the feelings subsided within an hour or so. Day 7 was the hardest, as expected. But since I was expecting it, I just rode it out and kept doing whatever other stuff I had to do. After Day 7 I found Days 8-10 pretty easy, and at the end of the ten-day experiment I was feeling confident, in control and just great, so I signed up for another ten".

 

One way to look at your progress is seeing it on the whole and not this particular streak. There is a post somewhere in the forest of threads generated about not necessarily basing your success on the streak of consecutive days gone without PMO (although that is important) but the ratio of relapses to PMO free days. As the ratio gains heavily in the favor of PMO free days you can see the successes for yourself and not be so discouraged when the relapse occurs. Don't beat yourself up over one relapse. Pick yourself up and know that you are getting better with each stent of abstinence. You've seen the changes in yourself. Hold onto that and hold onto this community for support. We are all in it together. Best wishes brother.

 

My record was 1 year, in the hard mode. I never can repeat this feat, and now I'm married, so I have regulary sex with my wife (and only with her).
But I also achieve 4, 6, 8 months in variables times.
But I relapsed so many times thats impossible to count.
Brother, do not bother yourself.
The key to success is not pay too much attention on relapses, but focus in regain the control.