Marrying Divorcees?

It depends of the reason why she divorced.

 

If you are of a certain age, say above 35 you are going to be hard pressed to find an appropriate dating partner that has not been married before. Sure there are people that were not, but if a man is 45 and has never been married to me that is more of a red flag than a prior divorce. Here is my theory. Many women delay marriage and child birth due to their careers. The reality is child birth has more effect on a woman’s career than it does a mans. Even if she is not going to be the primary caregiver, she still has to physically give birth. So women spend time building their careers, and many are still single by age 35 or over 40. Men on the other hand do not see the same cause and effect. Marriage usually boosts their careers and kids just do not effect their work in the same way. That’s not to say that men want ot get married at 23, but generally if a man wants marriage and children, he goes out and pursues and finds that. I have found that men that have not been married by age say 40, have a reason why and it’s usually bad. Either they don’t want to marry, or they have some serious mental health issue preventing them from having a happy relationship. I am not being funny, I have encountered so many men with these issues. So I would rather a once divorced man. One of the ways to determine if the person is a suitable partner is to hear how they talk about their ex and all their past exes. If you have a man that talks poorly about his ex, blames her for the whole thing, then he’s probably not going to be that great of a partner. Even further if he talks about all his exes poorly then that’s a red flag. If a man says “all my exes are crazy,” that almost always means he’s crazy.

 

I did.

No, it's not.

But then again, morality is not the same through all societies, or for everyone in a given society, and also changes over time as societies change.

 

Right I mean the Catholic Church would say you are committing adultery by marrying a divorcee because they don’t believe in divorce just their brand of annulment. But in the eyes of the Law and I would say a large number of people it is not immoral. If a person thinks it is there is nothing wrong with that we all have our own set of morals and values and that should be respected. But I do think as you age you are really limiting your dating pool by saying you won’t date a divorced person.

 

I totally agree GG2002. The other thing I think people don't think about much is how much morality changes over time. I was born in 1957, when the women's liberation movement was just getting going. When I grew up I was taught that a woman's place was in the home, having kids, raising them, keeping hubby happy and making sure all the domestic stuff at home was taken care of. That and a bunch of other stuff we consider morally corrupt today was considered correct and totally moral back then, and that's only 60 years ago.

Things change and from what I've seen in my time it's been pretty good overall. The pace of change today is so fast it sometimes gets ahead of our ability to integrate new things into society in a healthy way, but I think we will figure things out. We are a very adaptable and determined species.

 

No. Apart from anything else, there's a higher associated risk of divorce.

Jesus thought so. People may or may not think that important.

 

How do you know what Jesus thought or thinks?



Like this?

 

Jesus was hanging out with sinners, hookers etc. I don't think he would mind divorcees.

 

I know right? If Jesus walked the earth I have a funny feeling he would be passing a lot less judgment that the people invoking his name to pass judgment!

 

Would anyone happen to know if the catholic church bridges that law with the reality of quantum physics? That a divource does not end a marriage due to non locality?

 

Hanging out with, yes. Advising people to marry them? No, he said divorce and remarriage was adultery.

 

I don't usually comment about religion here, but I will this time

It's been a long time since I did any biblical research, but I don't think what you said above is completely accurate. I seem to remember that both divorce and remarriage are considered OK under certain circumstances and that one of those might have been adultery. However as I said, that was a while ago.

IMO the problem with bringing religion into these conversations is that not everyone is religious. I am not and I am very satisfied with my beliefs. I have no issue with people being religious, I certainly don't think any less of them for it or for mentioning god. I do have an issue with people who push any beliefs on others that are not helpful. Telling someone who is not christian that they need to become one to be a good person falls under the later category for me and I do lose respect for people who do that. Fortunately there are not many people like that here.

 

my mum chose not to divorce because of the catholic church and I can honestly say she is really really really miserable. But that also reminds me that perhaps the life of light does not always entitle what society would deem a good life. That maybe the path of light can lead one down to a miserable and destructive life but only in this lifetime.

 

I said marriage boosts a mans career and life not divorce. When a man marries presuming he stays married he is viewed as taking a step up in life by his peers and coworkers. Even most men who consider themselves liberal operate under the assumption that a woman will give up or limit her career to have his kids or stay at home. No woman assumes that of a man? Children usually tank a woman’s career and that’s why so many women these days don’t want them. Men want kids more than women do things are changing so a woman says if I marry at age 30 man will want kids kids will kill my career let me build that first then marry later. Most men don’t do that.

Would I personally consider a man who explained to me why he had not married by 40 o
Sure I would but I would view him with a skeptical eye. Many women though would not even consider him as s potential partner.

If men and women want kids and want marriage the reality is they need to date aggressively in their 20s and 30s. Men often presume that women only have biological clocks but then they end up 45 unmarried trying to find a woman of child bearing years to date them and are sol.

The only way to avoid this is to not let time pass. Make dating your job!