[21-CHALLENGE] THE TWENTY ONE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 0, check in...

 

Day 0/14 come here from 14 days challenge and feel challenged to beat this challenge

 

Following is my first post on NoFap:

"My names Dylan and I just found this site a couple days ago. Lately I've found my sex life hasn't been what it should, and have even dealt with some ED leaving me embarrassed and lacking confidence. I've always watched porn but after a breakup in October I really got down on myself and started M too frequently. I use Tori (I have since changed my name from ToriBlackAbolition to BrandNewGuy) in my name because my experience with porn has kind of followed her path, from nothing too hardcore to the rocco scene. I attest my ED to the hardcore content I've been watching, and conditioning myself to be turned on by. It's completely unrealistic in the real world and I find myself under stimulated in recent real life situations. I started reading into this issue, found the reddit site, then found this site. I'm hoping that having this forum to connect with other guys going through the same thing will help in my healing process. I want to regain control over my sex life and this is the best route possible. Porn is too easy, I need to change my habits before it's too late."

This was posted back on January 22nd, 2014...

Since then my ED issues have only gotten worse, and now I completely avoid sexual encounters. This has left me feeling alone and depressed, and has even impaired my ability to socialize with my peers, let alone a girl. Things have been going well lately, I have talked with several counsellors, and am scheduled to see a Urologist in a couple weeks. I also plan to attend an 8-week group treatment program for pornography dependence in MTL, where I am living now. That being said I relapsed last night, after watching a highly sexualized movie. I have come back to this site because I am in great need of support, and to talk with people going through similar things. I hope that I can help you guys as well!

The 21-day challenge should be a great start!

Dylan

 

Feel good today. Almost no urges or anxiety and I got a great score on my test.

6 days down, 15 to go.

 

Day 13/21 is done. Had some strong urges last night. But reason tells me it's a waste to give up now. Charging ahead!

 

... day 11 ...

 

Actually it's day 5 .
Counting it's not a concern anymore

 

Day 0
I am back. binged a little but i found my motivation again!


Outis

 

Let's not halt here to much , only 21 days !

 

Day 4/21 Done

 

Day 4/21. Still fighting Urges. But something weird happen yesterday. I got chatting to this girl yesterday after lecture. As we were talking she said do you wanna go grab a coffee. So I said yip, and we were chatting for about an hour before I had to go. I thought it was great to be chatting to a girl, who I have no desire to pursue or flirt with or whatever. Just a friendly platonic chat. And while we were chatting i wasn't checking her out or anything... it was just a conversion. She's also not someone Im attracted to. But anyway, after I left, sadly i really started objectifying her. It was like i was a teenager at school with his first girlfriend thinking your gonna do this and that with her. So I'm dealing with stuff. I wanna be a adult and not have my time wasted or waste a girls time by leading her down this path. I don't want to be objectifying women like in porn and the way my mind does due to the affects of watching so much porn. I don't want any sort of relationship or random hook up (I don't ever want that) for at least 90 days. Im gonna have to tread lightly with this girl because she did suggest getting a coffee again sometime. But I might be reading into her actions too much. which my mind is prone to do. But that goes away the longer i abstain doing nofap PMO.

Sorry a bit of a rant, and all over the place. Just had to get off my chest.

 

Back to square 1 and start from day 0 again. I'm disappointed but I'm also very clear why I failed again. My addiction is much more severe than I thought, but doesn't mean I can't win this life time war.

 

Day 19/21.

Very close to relapse today. Went back to my habit of checking out girls in Instagram. Not a good idea. It sent me down a nasty road and I almost ended up looking at porn. Even went so far as to download Tinder again.

Well, the lesson is to never get to that point again. I have to control myself and never start looking at girls in the first place. Damn this moment was difficult, I thought I was over it but the urges came with full force.

I think the healthy thing after my 90 days is to try and get a healthy sex life. I am committed to never P and M but I need sex cause I have a very strong drive by nature.

 

Day 3/21 (17 days total)

Busy busy day, minimal urges.

 

Well back to day 1 tomorrow, relapsed like a lil’ bitch.
Did learn of a new trigger though, so we’re a step ahead once more from the previous attempt. The first day since my last relaspe I decided to do some weight exercises and I felt great, what a bummer to end the day on...

 

day 12/21
was at school in the morning, in the afternoons by my friends place, got back home in the evenings, slept, woke up and did some school work. and now am updating.
low motivation

 

Finished 4 days of no PMO *Phew*. Boy it's getting hard. I now realize something, porn was my only real escape. In comparison everything else requires too much effort and produces very little pleasure, if any at all.

Giving the fact that I was always anti-social anyway + losing the capacity to enjoy active voluntary work -even games and movies feel like commitment and effort at this point- makes it harder and harder to keep this going.

I guess I will write something more detailed somewhere else as this is not the right forum for it I reckon.

Thank you for reading.

 

Relapsed.

 

Day 20 done and gone... Last day of the challenge.. Yippeeee

 

I am new but I believe I can control my self for 21days so let's begin day 1.