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Stress relief

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Hotpotts, Oct 25, 2017.

  1. Oct 25, 2017 #1
    Hotpotts

    Hotpotts Fapstronaut

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    I think my SO uses MO for dtress relief. He has a physically demanding job so excercise isnt always an option ( even though i know a swim or walking the dog would help)
    I think he has stopped watching P but still usong Psubs.
    We have bought a van to conver to a camper and he is working on thay but some of the problems hr encounters seem to cause more stress at this stage.
    He seems to be drinling more to relieve the stress too.
    Anyone got any suggestions for a practical no nonsense kind of guy ?( new age and therapy just wont even be consideted)
     
    Hotpotts, Oct 25, 2017
    Hotpotts, Oct 25, 2017
    #1
  2. Oct 25, 2017 #2
    samnf1990

    samnf1990 Fapstronaut

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    If you are willing, surprise handjobs and blowjobs to help him blow off steam. This will serve a dual purpose as he will also be less likely to go to p subs. Sex can involve anxiety about performing and the stresses of pleasing yur partner. Being a recipient is relaxing, thrilling and a great stress reliever. All of that will be dependent on your own recovery and how fresh the wounds of hurt are, but it would be a no nonsense solution, certainly.

    My wife involved acts for me alone in early recovery as our drives are slightly mismatched, and this helped while I got better at delaying my gratification. It was also a great counter argument to the pmo-addict-like thinking of 'she's never going to do it, watch these ladies do it instead'.

    Other great stress relievers are to cycle to and from work (if possible). The exercise is hardwired into his routine then so is unavoidable. Also schedule in date nights. This can be a nice way to kick back in the evening and also a chance for you to heal as a couple and reconnext etc.
     
    samnf1990, Oct 25, 2017
    samnf1990, Oct 25, 2017
    #2
  3. Oct 25, 2017 #3
    Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    Would giving him a massage relax him? I know that for me, massages really help me destress. And I don't know if doing sexual things for him would help. He is an addict, so even if you do something for him it won't make him stop using Psubs because his addiction is not about you. So no matter how much sexual gratification you give, it won't be enough to stop him if that was the intention behind why @samnf1990 said that. Not sure. But sexual gratification/release isn't a healthy coping skill, hence why there are all these addicts. There are many other ways to destress in a healthy way.Is there some TV show you guys like watching? I know when my husband is exhausted or stressed we just watch our favorite show to relax. Maybe talk with him about what type of things help him destress and if he isn't sure maybe brainstorm together. There are many ways to destress, even a short power nap helps my husband in the evenings on hard days.
     
    Queen_Of_Hearts_13, Oct 25, 2017
    Queen_Of_Hearts_13, Oct 25, 2017
    #3
    Hotpotts, Torn and Deleted Account like this.
  4. Oct 25, 2017 #4
    mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    For us we dedicate every Saturday to us. We make a point to do something that day. Could be as simple as going out for lunch and or dinner with a walk through downtown, going shopping or getting in the car and seeing where we stop.

    You need to find what works for you.
     
    mcgrim, Oct 25, 2017
    mcgrim, Oct 25, 2017
    #4
  5. Oct 26, 2017 #5
    Hotpotts

    Hotpotts Fapstronaut

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    I agree on it being non sexual.
    Besides, I'm more than happy to go down on him and he knows I am there for him whenever he feels the need but as he suffers from DE then there is still pressure to perform. When I do this spontaneously I think he feels pestered sometimes he is open to it buut other times he can be quite off with me saying he's busy (reading the news on his phone!?!).
    I was rhinking more along the lines of hobbies and activities that he can do when he is on his own instead of slipping into old habits.
    I'm trying to talk to him more so he can let off steam. I think I'll try and encourage him to take the dog for a walk and maybe think about what he could do to de stess himself
     
    Hotpotts, Oct 26, 2017
    Hotpotts, Oct 26, 2017
    #5

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