Crippling HOCD

I think its important to realise that PMO addiction creates a twisted version of your personality that ends up being superimposed over your real self. I read a lot of "HOCD/Am I gay/Bi" threads on here and I've come to understand that the entire thing is more often than not an extremely subtle and insidious trick your brain uses to get you to relapse. Take me for example, on more than one occasion I've "decided" I was Bi just as a way of rationalizing masturbating again, because, in my messed up brain, "Its OK to watch porn that doesnt excite me at all and only exacerbates the crippling compulsion because I'm Bi", when the reality is the exact opposite. It almost sounds weird to say but your brain is your enemy at this stage, it will try anything it can to mess with you and make you go back to PMO and back to unhealthy habits. It doesnt even matter what kind of porn it was, it genuinely doesnt matter, all your brain wants is its fix. Worrying about sexuality is exactly what your twisted sexual personality wants, instead you should do the opposite.

 

I don't feel like watching porn or doing mo right now. I'm talking to a girl and loving it, nothing really compares to taking to them and getting to know them.

 

Which leads to one of two conclusions.

1) There are way too many cases for HOCD to be made up or
2) Most of them are in denial

I'm not a betting man, but most of the cases I've read here... It's definitely #?

 

I can only speak from personal experience but my experiences with questioning my sexuality (Just to be clear, I dont and never had HOCD) were almost entirely based on porn consumption and compulsion, I would spend a long time trying to rationalize that I was Bi and then PMO excessively, only to realise afterwards I was being dumb. Meanwhile on every 30+ streak I have ever gone on these feelings vanish almost entirely and are replaced with heterosexual desires. My overall point is that trying to decide your sexuality while still in the thrall of PMO is irrational and only serves to make the issue worse.

 

This is the exact mindset to have, its nigh on impossible to make rational decisions when addicted to PMO. Take the time out to stop worrying about it and see where you are in 90+ days.