New here...have arousal and erection issues

Hello everyone Im newly registered on here but have followed threads in the past few months. Im 26, newly married and been with my wife for 2 1/2 years. I probably have been watching porn and masturbating for 12 years up until August of this year. Reason being Ive gotten nervous in the past with my wife. Also embarrassingly to both of us, there are times where I couldn't get an erection when she wants it and im trying and it just wouldn't happen. That sucks. Then it becomes a psychological issue after that. Also, sometimes when i have been hard it will go soft after a few minutes and mot get hard again at all. Me staying hard to orgasm from sex has been an on and off issue since i started having sex around 16. Me getting hard and sustaining it has been an issue for over 2 years. That being said, I gave up pmo back in August and have not looked back. I wake up really hard through almost every night. But my erections at night are a lot more hard than during sex. I have sex 1-3 times a week and have orgasmed every time since September. BUT the problem still is getting hard during sex. Sometimes it takes a lot of work or foreplay but hardly ever am i ready to turn over and just go at it. I want to be able to do that. I want to be able to get erect any time needed and have night time firm erections whenever its time for sex. Sometimes it feels dead down there when in my head I really want to do it? Like I said, no PMO since August and regular sex with my wife which cannot stop. Any help or advice please help me out. Thank you.

 

I think porn became more of a habit than an arousal if that makes sense. Sometimes I get anxiety if its expected to just happen immediately