I feel empty(please read I need help).

All I can say is try asking God for the strength to walk away from the drug dealing. It's not worth throwing your life away over some quick money. You might have to take that 9-5 job and earn less money than as oppose to dealing drugs. Furthermore, while working the job, you can start working on your boxing dreams when you have spare time to train and look at different videos of different boxers on YouTube or read books about boxing also to help you gain more knowledge about boxing. I hope this helps. Stay strong man and may God be with you.

 

@RAW99 ,

OK listen to the voice of experience.

Don't just do something, sit there.

Now, take a breath - inhale and let it out. Seriously, if anyone ever needed to sit quite and take a breath it was you.

I was serious about sitting and taking a deep breath. No human can have that much stress and be fine.

I did notice you said you had friends in college. Is going back to college an option?

Parents. Yeah, parents.

I'm going to let you in a deeply held secret. Parents are people - humans. Parents have made mistakes, maybe even had to confide in there own parents at some point in time. Dad's can seem to be "above it all", but trust me they know and care more than they let on sometimes.

You, my new found friend, are in the middle of an anxiety attack or at least one hell of a panic of some kind.

Ask yourself these important questions:

1. Will I eat today?
2. Will I sleep on the inside tonight?
3. When I flip the light switch is the electric working?
4. Is my rent paid?

If the answer to those questions is yes, you are doing damned good right now.

Sure, you need to think about tomorrow. Selling drugs or getting into a profession where it's actually legal for someone to beat you in the head are both pretty bad choices. Getting a regular job is the best option. But, seriously, maybe your mom and dad can help. Maybe help you back to school?

You have a whole world of people here to help you.

SLAM!

That's the sound of that jail cell door behind you. Selling drugs is a very very bad idea. (sorry had to throw that in).

Or, get a good night's sleep and let either your parents in or someone else in, perhaps a parish pastor? Be honest, there's no reason in letting anything out.

Be honest about your drug use. Getting clean and getting new friends might be the first step. Find the help, call a hotline if you have to. But, you can't keep going down the rabbit hole you are currently running down.

Keep coming back,

L

 

What is it about dealing for you that makes it a better option than perusing your dream of boxing?

 

Damn, I thought I had problems.

 

Take some time to think about the long term effects of your options. A 9 to 5 job sounds like shit doesn't it? But it can help get you on the right path. You can get the money to continue your education, pursue boxing, or follow a new passion.

I think i can see why you like drug dealing. I think it's because you feel like you belong with a group and that it gives you that same high. Keep it mind though if you go back to dealing you'll spend your life with fucked people and end up fucking yourself harder and deeper into this hole. Now is your chance to move away from it because if you go back to it who knows how long it'll follow you, even if you go clean.

Boxing sounds like a great passion, but is risky at this moment and might hurt you more. I'd say pursue it with caution and make sure you have a back up or are stable first. I know it sucks that you have to go through all that boring, mind numbing stuff, but it'll be worth it.

You said you had friends in college? Maybe stick with college and work on building those relationships and try to find a group you can fit in with. The right people might really help you pursue your passion or get you a job or just make you feel better.

As far as your parents keep in mind that they're people too. More importantly they're not your guardians anymore and don't have to be a parent. They can be person and they might be able to help or understand your position. If your parents aren't an option I completely understand where you're coming from.

Keep in mind you did make a friend today and if you need anything just shoot me a message!

 

If I were you I'd move, get away from everything and start fresh. Shit your 19, it's about that time. You should check out Jordan Peterson on YouTube, he's really helped me to get my life sorted out. Maybe it'll help you too? Idk, but ya man try and escape from all that dark shit and leave it in the past.

 

I agree with you that feeling, “empty and lonely as fuck”, is probably your bigger motivator in choosing the other over boxing. Just remember though these people are not your friends they are your customers and business associates. They only want what you have. Once you get into it, I feel that the loneliness and emptiness will still be there under the serface. I would much rather you choose the boxing path because it gives you the potiential to get those true friendships and that feeling of belonging that you really want.

One other point, if you choose the other, then I do think it precludes you from your dream of boxing. If you do both and you are really good at boxing, the the other will alway be a negative cloud over your career. This will be especially true if you are arrested at some point. You could go all the way to the Olympics and some reporter will dig into your past for a bio and this will come up. Just something more to consider.

 

I'm surprised I could come up with something after barely getting a grasp of your whole situation.

If you live somewhere with flat roads or public fields you might want to go for daily 30 minute runs. Not only it will help build your breath for those endurance kind of matches but also naturally introduce you to another group of people. If you do choose that you might want to acknowledge that the more serious people, in regards to their training, will do it either at night or before 10am due to sun exposure and that kind of stuff.

 

Don't deal drugs. My brother did that and caused grief for our whole family. Think about yours!

 

@Lucid ¹·⁷ ,

Great idea.

Any activity where you meet others is a good idea.

One piece of advice. Don't get a dog so you can meet others with dogs. I'm serious! Get a house plant. If you can keep that alive for a year, then maybe a dog.

Look up your local chapter of NA and/or AA (na.org and aa.org). Something tells me if you are doing drugs you are also drinking and the only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drink.

L

 

Listen up @RAW99 My dream is to be one of the greatest MMA fighters in the world. I'm not about to let my this bad past of mine get in the way of my future. I went deep into my porn addiction. Not going into details, but it caused me to watch crazy shit and act out in a way that went against my sexual orientation and I'm as straight as an arrow! I'm still fucking fine and motivated! Hell I can even use all this traumatic experiences to my advantage. Since you love boxing remember when Mike Tyson lost his temper and told that boy that he will fuck him or some shit lmfao. All of these things makes me a savage because I went into all of this and came out the same MAN before porn. Whatever you watched and done is from the porn. I hope to see you up there @RAW99

 

Here's the video @RAW99 You heard how he said you can't last 2 minutes in his world!? Be like that dawg! Become a fucking savage

 

Hell fucking yeah @RAW99 after I discovered that I had a porn addiction I fucking forgave myself for all that I've watched and done. I knew that wasn't me when I got my dick sucked by a guy. I was high off my porn addiction. It traumatized me to the max and that's how I realized I had a problem so I forgave myself and stop giving a fuck. I got tired of failing my family so many times and now that I got newborn twins it made me even more of a beast. Your porn addiction/ sex addiction does not determine your sexuality and anything else. You know who you were before all of this. Use your addiction as a weapon to keep you focused on your goals. Become that fucking animal! I remember one guy was looking me up and down when I was at the mall with my lady and I intimidated him because I kept staring at him without blinking like "You got a problem?" Forgive yourself dawg and move on.

 

It took me 10 days man. I exercised every day and kept a positive mind @RAW99 Have you ever heard about the law of attraction?

 

@RAW99 the law of attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life. If you think you will be the best in the world and believe you are the best in the world it will happen. A lot of people including Connor McGregor and Jon Jones follows the law of attraction and so do I.