Did porn make me gay?

I've spent a hell of a lot of time pondering whether or not PMO made me bisexual, made me realise I was bisexual, or if I'm straight and just confused. I eventually arrived at a way of explaining this that differs from simple "porn escalation" that we see used all the time. I call it "Sexual conflation". This is a more specific form of escalation where the mind conflates your genuine sexual desires with superficially similar but in actuality very different desires, causing confusion and distress. I wont go into specifics to avoid triggering people but for example, in my mind I know I am fairly kinky and open minded, over time this warped to include similar kinks just with men instead of women, and because on a superficial level the two things *seem" similar its hard to look at it objectively and realise that one is genuine and the other not. Thus, this kind of distorted logic flows through my brain;

"I'm sexually open minded and kinky" (Natural desire)- "This therefore means I am at least bisexual because some of my kinks could feature men" (Sexual conflation).

An even better example of this kind of thing is this;

"I'm not in any way repulsed by the female or male form, I can admit when a woman/man is objectively attractive without it being a sexual thing" (Natural thought)- "Because this includes men it therefore means I'm bi" (Sexual conflation).

In conclusion I honestly wouldn't worry about it, worrying is the worst thing you can do because it feeds the cognitive distortions in your mind and makes things worse. Once I made peace with being a straight guy with a very open mind, I started to feel a lot better in myself. Once you come to terms with your personal truth you too will feel better.

 

Could be, although I wouldn't fear your sexuality, I'd embrace whatever it is. It's like Tango said, constantly thinking those thoughts and worrying about it doesn't do any good, best to just try and relax while quitting PMO. You'll find your true sexuality eventually and whatever that may be just accept it for what it is.

 

Earlier this year it was a party, everyone was drunk, and I was bunking with a friend. We tried some girls to send nudes, and when that didnt work we just started jerking off. Idk what came through me, but for some reason I asked my friend if i could blow him, and he agreed. He came to his senses just before he was about to cum, and he was shocked at how gay the entire thing had gotten so quickly. Ever since that day, i have found myself venturing into gay sections on porn and even sometimes staring and ripped dudes, all the while hating myself for doing so. Anyone can relate?

 

Idk I thought I was gay. Watched gay porn since I was 12/13. It's been almost 6 weeks since starting nofap. I basically felt asexual after the 2nd or 3rd day, no sexual desires. Been dealing with social isolation, I guess I used fapping to avoid reality. Trying to get out and make friendships, have yet to get anything meaningful. I do want a romantic relationship with a woman, never could see myself with a man. I just feel so much envy/jealousy towards some men. Try not to let it linger... Pretty sure my low self-esteem and body image has contributed to this. I've lost about 75lbs. Just started the gym about 3 weeks ago. Don't see much progress, guess it takes awhile...

Anyways today I've been having all these sexual images flash in my head.... Idk how else to describe it other than "passion". Maybe my emotional/romantic desires are starting to arouse my sexual desires? I don't want to objectify women though. Did watch straight porn a few times. Seemed so abusive. Then again, some of the gay stuff I watched was probably worse.....

 

You guys are the annoying ones. You lack empathy. I know it may seem that this thought "porn can make you gay" can seem like a copping mechanism for dealing with homosexuality which in some cases is sure to be true, but it is also true that porn develops fetishes. Not because "you have deep desires" but because our brain requires more and more stimulation. We start with lesbian porn then go straight then go threesums, cosplay, teacher, milf then as our brain adapts which it does. You get to the point where you "require" more stimulation. Straight porn becomes to vanilla, becomes boring. This is generally when you end up watching fucked up shit. Starts with JOI's, then you end up in hypnotic shit, CEI's and more and more fucked up shit. - If you have seen some of the shit out there let alone done them. Your opinion would be different.

If you had seen the shit I've seen you would understand. There are some "dominatrix" which encourage gay behavior as a form on humiliation which some dudes love. and I have no doubt there are some who are gays who do it, but not everyone. This guy could be gay and may be trying to deal with it, by going into denile, but I have before "wondered if I was gay" and I understand the dread. Just wishing above anything not to be. I am definitely not gay, as I definitely love making love to woman and tittass, maybe I could be bi sexual but I don't think so and I don't want this lad to think he is gay when he is not.

So to summerise; this guy is going have to trust himself. He should make 100+ days NoFap and see what he feels like. If he is attracted to guys so be it. He must come to terms with it and love himself. I know it is easy to say looking in, but most people don't give a shit if you're gay my friend. It is you who cares the most and to move on and find joy you will have to accept yourself.

If this guy has developed dirty fetishes, they do fade away with time, but rewiring is also important. Take that however you want (maybe pm me) either way starting NoFap is the beginning of either journey. Stick with it my brother!

 

Are you attracted to females and males romantically and physically or just males? @Wickster If so then you might be bisexual. If you don't have that connection with women then you are gay. Having child hood experiences doesn't make you gay or bisexual. You could have probably copied what you saw some where. We as kids would do anything. Anyways what I'm trying to say is that I been in the same boat as you. I did weird shit when I was kid like feel on girls and act out shit. I felt like I was around my uncle or someone when they were having sex with a woman but I can't remember. I acted that out with a lot of people I don't have any romantic or physical attraction. I have no attraction to men's body, which is why I know I have a very bad porn addiction. What I developed from porn which is some weird as fetish or fantasy. It makes me want to fuck anything that has a hole or a mouth. I acted out against my own orientation due to porn escalation and I got traumatized. It made me think I was gay or bisexual for a while. I wouldnt even want to hang out with anyone because I was so traumatized. Psubs and other things can make you curious to click on a new genre whether its a book or anything else. You have to be careful of your surroundings. I know I'm not gay or bisexual because I know what I'm attracted to before porn. Try to remember and do not panic. Porn warps your mind in a weird way @Wickster

 

Saying "embrace your sexuality" how is that different from saying "embrace your porn addiction"?

Having a partner does not make sex addiction or perversion any less harmful.

One thing I know for me at least and I think many here know for themselves is the farther you go down the hole [ meaning the more perverse and twisted stuff you do] the harder it is to get out. Sex/porn addiction is hard to overcome and fetish twisted stuff is even harder to get over. To say if your "straight" you will not like it or not be tempted to do it again is complete horseshit. People get addicted to scat and all kinds of disgusting things and no those things are not healthy. If you're cool with doing that stuff that is your business, but trying to find acceptance for your ways and recruiting people on a porn addiction forum is low.

Some of you guys like fetish stuff or whatever and are cool with it and that is your thing, but others are trying to overcome this stuff. You say you can't change your sexuality but that is a load of politicised rubbish used to promote tolerance of homosexuality. To debate or state, homosexuality is either right or wrong is not or should not, IMO, be the intention of a forum to help people overcome porn addiction. To quote from someone else here I don't know if it's knavery or just plain naivety but it's harmful all the same. Must of us have seen how twisted sexual desire can get and likewise how twisted our minds can get and we know just as our minds are malleable so is our sexuality [ who we are attracted to and what we are into]


Tolerance. How about tolerating those who DONT want to do certain things or who WANT to change who/ how they are

 

Only one way to find out. Quit PMO for 90 days or so and see what happens. Everything else is merely conjecture.

 

Porn made me curious. I never thought twice about guys before PMO.

 

To be honest SO many guys who watch gay porn aren't gay. You have to atleast fall in love or feel lovey feelings for a man. You are the only one that knows if youre gay.. I can get off to gay porn. I can get off to transwomen. I can get off to strapons. But Ive never ever had romantic feelings for a man. I could never go on a date with a man. So yeah I had my doubts. But im not gay (bi maybe). Im only romantic with girls.

 

I have been cheating on my long-term girlfriend with men, so part of me trying to do 90 days with no PM is to let my brain re-wire and to try and help me figure out my sexuality. I don't think porn makes you gay. But I think it can definitely have an effect and make you fantasise about stuff. And the more porn you watch, the more kinky it has to be to make you satisfied... and then you reach a point where porn isn't enough and you want to hook up in real life. So I certainly hope doing a PM free reboot will give me some clarity.

 

Curious. If you dont want to answer i get that. Since i thought I was gay for a while because of sissy hypno and gay porn. When i was horney i always wanted to try and hook up with men. But whem im not i never payed attention to them.

Did the hook ups gave you satisfaction? Are you positive on being Bi? Or do you consider yourself being hetero? Also could/can you see yourself in a romantic relationship with a men?

 

wut? really?

 

I might be bi. And I'm OK with that. I would probably consider myself straight but I know I'm not 100% straight. I believe sexuality is a spectrum and I'm OK with that I guess. I don't think I could see myself in a relationship with men. I think a lot of what I have done has been driven by fantasy and porn, so I'm interested to see how I feel after the 90 day challenge and beyond. The hookups gave me satisfaction in the sense that I had fulfilled an urge but that's pretty much it.

 

It can make you think you are gay. Just knock off the porn watching and it will go away.

 

I have plenty of empathy for people struggling, did you even read the OP initial post? saying things like pride marches are making people gay? That is what I have an issue with.

 

It is clear based on multiple experiences here at NOFAP that PMO to excess can pervert your sexuality to an extent that natural sexual interests are replaced with "novel" sexual interests. For the straight man, that novelty can be homosexuality, transgenderism, BDSM, and even (in extreme cases) pedophilia.
Look at Kevin Spacey, who just came out as "gay". He says, "Today, I choose to be a gay man." He wasn't one of those men born gay, but rather a man like us who probably has a sex addiction that leads him into all sorts of perverse activities. At one point it seemed to him a good idea to seduce a 14 y/o.

 

Your heavily addicted most likely have made you enjoyed the hook ups. I read a story on yourbrainonporn where and another website where this guy was going around sleeping with transsexuals because his fantasy was so strong because porno @BPat I even got a blowjob from a feminine guy and it traumatized me because I notice what I've done after my craving went away it was a fucking trip out! It's like something was controlling you. I mean if you didn't get traumatized you probably are bi sexual but hey who cares! It's 2017 so cheers!