Does pornography effect the way you speak?

I think there's a correlation, because I tend to say more stupid things after relapsing. Anyway, if you need to learn to speak better, leaving PMO is a good first step. I'm always really dumb talking with boys and with people in general, but I remember than when I was on say 20 or so I was more sociable with unknown people. I hope this helps

 

It's not just you, PMO robs us of confidence and without that you become nervous, shy and awkward around others. It's much too easy to sit in front of a screen and watch pixels than to engage with another person of the opposite sex. I know when I relapsed or kept on doing PMO I found myself tripping over words more so. It depends on your personality and if you're naturally shy that's okay. I used to be a lot more shy than I am now but because of my job I'm forced out of my comfort zone to talk to lots of people and I actually rather enjoy that now. It's a side of me I hadn't really seen before and I know that PMO robbed me of that. Success breeds confidence and more success and doing something like working out will make you feel great and more confident in time. Go PMO free you can do it!

 

Start a streak today if you haven't done any PMO at all and set up a counter. It might depend on your age and what not but try to socialize more when you can and if you can in small ways and then grow from there. It can only get better. As for a streak for the reboot look for the seven day challenge and 14 day and so on they're a great way to get involved and a smaller target to aim for first. If you need help at all or have questions just ask the community is really supportive and your success is success for everyone!

 

Whenever I view porn, I often experience huge lapses in several areas which are germane to speaking...such as my confidence level, memory/concentration, and general mood. It's one of the main reasons behind my commitment to quitting...since whenever I've abstained there's been an appreciable increase (in this sense) in my ability to be understood which is crucial for forming and maintaining positive relationships and even just living life. It's terrible when you're trying to articulate something and you speak so fast (out of anxiety) that your words run together OR (if the post-fap is making you feel wonky) the energy level is so low that you can't stop mumbling...my voice goes so soft it's incredible.

 

I feel as if I've always been socially awkward (this has more to do with my upbringing than anything else) but PMO addiction exacerbated it. I found it difficult to behave around women in a non-friendly setting (there are some people you just click with, on various levels) because of their beauty. I screwed up a lot of times because of this. PMO addiction can affect not only how you speak, but where you look, how you position yourself, your thoughts, etc. In my recovery process, I'm still trying to figure out how to negotiate everything. When I want to speak, there's a committee in my head deliberating over every word choice, possible social outcome, risk-levels of embarrassment/stupidity, so much so that I end up chickening out and not saying anything at all. That's no way to live, now is it? If only I could just stop worrying all the time. But, then again, I have ample cause to worry considering the ruin PMO addiction has brought me.

Long story short, PMO no good. Best to strip it from your life. That's what the site is for. Good luck to your endeavors (I hope you can feel confident in speaking again!) and stay strong.

 

I think it's more confidence that the others talked about. The addiction does affect our self image, creates brain fog, and mangles self esteem.

I recommend thinking back to when you were a kid or observe kids meeting for the first time. You'll see that they don't have pleasantries or worry how they are perceived. They treat the other as if they were old friends.

Try talking to people with the same positivity, joy, confidence, or body language as if you're already great friends. I feel this is a great technique.

 

On a relapse I get many side effects that effects the way I talk. Dyslexia, brain fog, rushing my words because I'm insecure when I pause mid sentence...

When I was heavily into my addiction, going to the grocery store gave me social anxiety to the degree it was uncomfortable and preferably avoided. But I still notice a big difference between day 1, and day 7 however.

 

Wow I am glad to read this topic. Since 2 weeks I am here on nofap and a world of recognition and understanding and connecting is opening for me.

I never was a big talker. I was afraid talking to my own dad
As a young kid I learned to protect myself, when I was speaking. So, learned to watch your words very very carefully, because of the hurting that could follow.

Later I developed some serious masks to survive in high school and work places.
I have learned to talk from the heart with people I really trust.

I once had - like you @Reborn16 - social anxiety when going to the baker or supermarket. I pushed myself facing my anxieties. It could happen that I was stuttering.
Once a sales assistant was looking at me with some sneering smile, asking: "what did you say?"

But later I learned: Oke boy, just stutter as much as you can. It was a heavy time for me. I had to accept my fear for stuttering. But by doing it, I have grown over it.

I always had relapses (except for the last 10 days hooray ) and that caused mental blocks. Sins need to be confessed = spoke out.
But when I had a relapse while the next day I had to go to work, oh man, horrible. I felt so ashamed when cycling to my work. Looking away from people.
Not able to contact girls at all. Later it went better. i learned to go to the same shops every week, learned to have very small conversations with people. And slowly I grew out of my fear for people, and my agoraphobia.

For 2 months I have a new job. In the workplace I am just..... quiet. Very conscious of my masks. It's kinda horrible.
Sometimes I have to force myself speaking to customers. A sign that this workplace is not the one for me at the moment.

As I always say: give me one benefit of watching porn which is free from stress.

So Yes, porn is changing us from the inside out.
But it's no surprise. Imagine you are married and have a intimate relationship. And every evening you go out and have sex with another man or woman. How would you feel after to your partner who trust and love you?
Wouldn't you feel ashamed? Of course!
Wouldn't you feel confused? Of course!
Wouldn't you feel angry and regret? Of course!
Wouldn't you loose enjoying of work and create things and hang around with loved ones? Of course!
Wouldn't you start have problems with your self-confidence? Of course.

Well, porn is doing exactly that.
It's spiritual adultery.

 

I dunno, I might be the only dissenter here. I've generally always been confident, outgoing and popular, even being porn-addicted. Saying that though, when I lapse, I do feel that fog effect you guys describe so in no way am I saying porn doesn't affect me at all. I think how porn affects your confidence and speaking depends on how you were previously predispositioned I guess?

 

This is so me, especially the part about negotating and deliberating. It has been so limiting for myself. I've gotten better through the years I think, but now when off porn I feel more relaxed and ready to get better than this. The worrying have also been a huge problem for me, I still do. But after quitting porn I feel better in that aspect as well. Still it probably also has to do with me working on certain aspects of life. But I am pretty sure porn hasn't helped.

 

Yes it does. PMO gives you brain fog and it makes you dumber.

 

Yes, it would appear we're both afflicted by this :/

 

It's nothing to do with confidence speech wise. It's a neurochemical hangover/withdrawals that make your speech all over the place. Although your confidence does get drained due to pmo'ing.

 

Yes I think it absolutely impacts the way you speak. Neurologically and emotionally.
The main observation I have is that when I use porn and I talk to a woman, I feel nervous, uneasy, insecure and watch what I say. I self critique more. I also critique her more. I analyze every word. The shame i feel colors this too. It’s also more of a challenge to talk to a woman, especially someone I just met. If I already know the person, it’s easier, but this stuff still comes up just not as dramatic.

When I don’t use porn and it’s been a while, this does not happen. I can talk to any girl effortlessly. Maybe not every single time. But for the most part. I don’t watch what I say. I say what I want. I don’t give a fuck what they think about what I’m saying. I feel more free. I feel more confident. I am more present. I can just listen and respond as myself not as a shadow of myself or not as someone who is calculating what to say. This ultimately yields pleasant results.

 

Spot on.