[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Starting Day 2!

 

14/90

 

Day 4/90
I am not gonna lie, I almost give up.

 

Day 1 checking in
Good so far ;-)

Stay strong!!

 

Day 5/90 Endurance!

 

Day #24 gone for good.

Day #25 processing

 

Day 13 alomost gone, feeling not so good not so bad But my mind isn't thinking of porn and thats good so far. Good luck to everyone !

 

Another day done..
In the last 66 days, I had one day that the urges became to big and I just gave in. One day...

But, I have noticed that, just like reaching for a bag of chip after dinner without being hungry, I have some moments when "reaching for porn" had become a response to how I felt. Anxious? Porn. Nervous? Porn. Sad? Porn. Reprogramming these responses is much harder than I expected. Don't take me wrong - I have tons of willpower. I am not giving in, but I have noticed that I am sometimes shaken, sometimes really at the edge of my control. I will succeed in giving this sh&t up. That's not the issue. I am feeling a little self pity right now for how I have let it control me for the last 5 to 10 years. If not more. It makes me a little sick to my stomach. It is not the one day that I couldn't handle it that defines me, but the 65 days that I was strong.

We will see if my marriage falls apart, it is not out of the realm of possibilities. I have two beautiful daughters that are my inspiration, a woman that was there for me before them that I can't believe I transgressed against as much as I did. I have a successful business that I own, some good friends. I have picked up (not because of the porn thing) some great workout habits over the last 18 months and will be doing some half-ironman triathlon in 2018. In all, I'm in a good place. I am grateful to be alive, grateful for my kids, grateful for my health.

Have a great weekend

 

16/90

 

10/90 ✔️

 

4/90

 

Day 6

6 Down 84 to go... feeling good. feeling real good!

 

Hi , everyone!
Day 0 for me , first attempt in this challenge but a higher determination

 

This is a great insight, @The Walrus. It doesn't make it any easier, as you note. But your words help me see and feel how ingrained my porn response is. It is as brainless and automatic as reaching for those chips when I'm a bit edgy but not even hungry. For me at least, there's some gentleness in this understanding.

 

27 days completed ... More control in place ...

 

Day 3/90 Complete! A lot of ups and downs. I ate WAY too much food since my family is having Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm trying to enlarge my stomach for tomorrow haha

 

Starting Day 3!

 

• I am in @2525
• Day (0) out of (90)
• Wish all good luck

 

Day 4- Still going strong. However, I had more strong urges before I slept yesterday. I learned my lesson from the previous time this happened and was prepared with an action plan that I had rehearsed during the day. When the strong urge to PMO arose, I did some deep breathing exercises to regulate my fast pulse rate, then read my positive motivational statements that I had written before hand and visualized how my life would be without PMO. It all took about 10 mins and the intensity of my urges went down. What I learned though, was that I had once again allowed myself to be complacent. I was supposed to be asleep by 11pm and was even very tired. I slept at 12.30 am using my laptop aimlessly watching YouTube videos in the dark. Talk about putting myself in harm's way. Even after switching off my laptop and going to bed, I still used my phone, something that I vowed to stop doing. I have realized these seemingly small habits are part of a complex addiction ritual that I must purge if I am to stay strong.

 

Day #25 ok
Day #26 ongoing