Former Writer/Artist

Hiya, just your average nerd here. From time to time I write video game reviews, otherwise I spend most of my time playing them when I'm not stocking the dairy department at work (third shift).

Let me start off by saying "normal" porn doesn't turn me on - it's the kinky-oriented stuff, like same-size vore and giantess. Those are the two fetishes that turn me on the most. While I wouldn't exactly consider these as "porn," it does stimulate me to the point of masturbation and orgasm. I was exposed to this type of content during my early teens, and I didn't know why I found it so attractive to watch. I actually didn't learn to masturbate until I was 22, but since then I've found it to be a destructive habit.

I love to write. As such I wrote quite a few fan fiction stories involving the kinks I mentioned above (for a long time I've been writing fetish stories, but actually didn't start publishing them on the Internet until August of 2016). I also learned to make animations and posters via 3D animation software, which also included fetish content. Both my writing and posters became so popular that I decided to take requests. Not going to lie, a lot of the writing requests I got were even more strange than the ones I was writing at the time - I got requests for things like scat, diapers, lesbians, breastfeeding, weight gain, anal vore, unbirth, and some other kinks that I'm probably forgetting to mention. I'm not even into these kinks but I wrote them for the sake of appeasement. Still, the praise I received kept me going.

A little over a month ago I finally decided to stop writing/making that kind of stuff. I stopped taking requests altogether. Haven't written anything since. So now all I'm dealing with is the resistance to look at and masturbate to kinky videos, pics, stories, etc. Obviously, like most everyone else who has registered to this site, the tendency to resist is quite difficult. I know it's affecting my relationships with friends and family, giving me an imbalanced view of women, and is overall an unhealthy habit to get into, just like alcoholism. So after doing a quick search on the Internet for "porn addiction," I stumbled onto an article from Wikipedia and noticed that it mentioned this site. I visited it and I'm glad I did. It's a relief to know thousands, if not more are also going through the same struggle and there's help available. Awesome.

So I'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks. I've been treated by an NAET practitioner a few times (this I recommend for anyone going through porn addiction, I would be providing a link but currently can't because of being a new user), but obviously it's still a struggle. I've relapsed several times, never being able to go longer than a week, but I'm hoping and praying the methods contained in this site will change that. A few friends of mine have actually suggested I replace my smartphone with a flip phone. I ordered one by mail, now all I need to do is switch the number from my smartphone to that. Still weighing it into consideration, though, because 1) I still have my tablet and PC through which I can relapse and 2) there's a lot of things a smartphone can do over a flip phone that aren't as harmful as porn - such as being able to listen to music while at work - that aren't essential for survival but would be nice things to have. In the meantime, I will keep both my phone and tablet in a separate room when I'm in my own. I'm trying to fill up my time/keep my mind preoccupied with video games, hopefully I'll get to the piano eventually. That's an instrument I've always wanted to play. Otherwise, thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

Thanks for the response. So, I should probably preface this by saying this is a pretty detailed post, so I advise caution while reading.

Pretty sure it was Super Smash Bros. that started it. I was just a kid when Melee was out and my older brothers got it as a gift. I played it myself and found the Super Mushroom to be fascinating (which, in case you're not aware, causes the character on-screen to grow physically in size). Then came along Zelda: Majora's Mask that was playable on GameCube with a couple of other Zelda games. No, I'm not gay but watching Link grow in size at the boss fight in the fourth dungeon with the Giant's Mask became an obsession.

Then there was Smash Bros. Brawl. Oh, man. The "mushroom stacker" cheat code, by means of hacking the Wii. Watching Zelda grow infinitely bigger and bigger on screen by means of mushrooms until the Wii froze. It got me so hard, but again since this was in my early teens I had no idea why it was turning me on. Then I started watching videos on YouTube, things like MMD animations and real-life actresses.

Then Overwatch. That was the pinnacle. Don't even get me started on the females in that game. That's when the writing started.

That being said, I guess I could say my fetishes are more so on the natural side. I know in time though, that if I try hard enough those desires will become less of a priority and I will focus more on the "normal," less degrading things.

On a side note, is there any way to update my tracker? I relapsed today.