A Progressive Challenge-A different kind of challenge- all levels

Great! Power up!

 

Great! I found at this point that keeping myself really busy helped loads with getting through the final goal days. You should feel the fog lift any day if it hasn't already!

 

Good strategy. We're with you.

 

SingleChangePalm has the most profound experience of any of us here when it comes to this. I didn't beat this at your age and looking back, I'm not sure I really wanted to, though I tried. I didn't have the internet in those days, so these days teens have it much more difficult. I had a pretty stressful home life, and I don't mean normal teen angst. I mean dysfunctional family and financial woes. I can't stand here and say now that I would have had the strength to install the porn blockers, hide my phone at night or find a local accountability partner, stay off my computer at night. I do recall having two streaks, one of a week and one of two weeks. But the relapses were so spectacular that although I was angry at myself, I couldn't bring myself to stop. But in retrospect, I wish I had. I wish it badly.

 

Daily post: No one here will judge you

Hey, everyone. This small group of guys on this thread represents a wide spectrum of age, geographic location, religious experience or lack thereof, life interests and much more. But this one thing brings us together and I've been so pleased to watch you start to take care and help each other. That's just what I can see. I have no idea what private messages are going back and forth but I'm sure they're positive.

I have been honored to be in private conversations with many of you. Some were very short and others more involved but it gives me a chance to laugh, plan or grieve with you. What a privilege. I had no idea how starting this thread would change my life and I hope it's changing yours in a good way.

Everyone here has the capacity to stop but there are things both inside one and outside of one that make the challenge more profound for some, things no one can control. I do strongly believe that where there's a will, there's a way. But for some, it may take a lot more time or a different external set of circumstances before the internal forces can rally. I understand that. Believe me when I tell you younger ones that we felt no less desire to get rid of this at your age than you do now and we didn't have internet, let alone high speed.

All this is to say that no one on this thread has yet posted a judgmental post nor do I think they will. We are all in the same boat. We all know this grief. Every single one of us has life experiences that contributed to our addiction and made us feel like we felt needed it as a coping mechanism. Now that I've been off for 53 days, I realize that it wasn't actually helping me cope like I thought it was. It was actually allowing me to avoid change and it was a substitute for coping. Those so-called benefits and "superpowers" are simply the real and normal qualities that you would have been enjoying all along if you hadn't been substituting fapping in their place. Yes. A sobering thought. I'm starting to get those qualities and it makes me so angry at myself to realize what things I could have accomplished if I hadn't been blocking them all those years.

So, no one here will judge you. As I've said before, don't think you can beat my relapse record because I'm the best relapser here, no contest. Don't even try it punk. And that means I'm the best mad-at-myselfer, the best sad-over-relapser, the best I-need-this-to-coper and the best damn wanker on this thread. Don't even try. 53 days is more than many of you have ever done so it looks like a lot. But considering that I'm older than most of you, 53 days is also a miniscule amount of time compared to all the days I've fapped. Don't get me wrong, I'll take it! Every one of those 53 days, despite urges and other challenges is a day I've done somethng else less destructive.

Take all the time you need. But stay with us and keep trying. You haven't walked in our shoes so don't assume your life's problems are more worrisome than ours, regardless of how different they may be. We love you here because we are you.

 

Reflection on Deth's Strategy

I know, two daily posts today. What can I say. You guys make me think.

Our friend Deth put away P before he started trying to put away M. I do think that is a positive strategy. Knowing what we do (see yourbrainonporn.com) about P addiction, it is so bad. Besides the massive dopamine drain it causes and resulting insensitivity of the dopamine receptors, it is a horrible addiction even without considering how it puts you psychologically in charge of the people you are watching. Ponder that and why you feel you need that.

As I've remarked before. An M addiction is not dependent on internet P but a P addiction is dependent on M. Even if, as some guys outside of this thread have claimed, you can view P for a time without M, it eventually leads there. It has to.

M is also dependent on imagery, though. Fantasies, photos. Many of the younger guys here say they are triggered more by Instagram sexts more than vids. Sometimes those sexts are sent by people they know, making them much more triggering.

So, even though porn and masturbation do rely on each other, cutting out porn first, MIGHT help some guys masturbate less by allowing them to visually come down for a few days before starting a no M streak. I don't think this will work for everyone because we all know how many times we turned to P because our Willy was not excited about doing the M we were wanting out of habit.

In my case, I was not able to stop either without stopping the other one. However, I did use Deth's strategy for the week before this long streak started and it gave me more fortitude to start day 0 of this 53 day no PM streak. I do think it's worth a try for those having trouble getting past a week or less.

Deth will keep us posted, I know. Great thread member.

 

Beautiful post. You post just as many times today as you need to. Maybe get brave and tell us a bit about why you think you got hooked to begin with. Only if you want to tell us.

 

Damn. You've had to hold all this inside you for all these years. You are one tough man. I will never forget your story as long as I live. Now that you've let it out, did it help? How? Take your time answering. That had to be draining on you. Thanks, man. You have our support.

 

Best Day Ever
Man, it's still morning where I am and this is already the best day ever on this thread. Today, this thread became absolutely the best thread on ths forum and maybe on the whole website. Note that it is the personal issues behind the addiction, not the addiction itself that has made today's posts unbelievably powerful. You guys are making us all grow in might and thought. Thank you so much for your deeply personal perspectives. So powerful.

 

Powerful post.