My PIED story, also - how long has PIED been a known thing?

How long has PIED been a known thing? I mean, I don't remember hearing about it until maybe a few years ago. Maybe 2-3 years. When I was growing up, all I heard from my parents generation was that masturbation was completely harmless and that any attempt to discourage masturbation was some moralistic religious zealotry. Sure, they would question porn, but never from a self harm perspective (PIED).

Some backstory about me:

I'm a 28 year old. Been PMO:ing since 14 roughly. Struggled with ED since I first started having sex (18ish). After failed attempts with four different girls consecutively and no successful attempts so far, I started using sildenafil that I ordered online without consulting a doctor. The pills fixed my problem for the following 10 years of my life, but the last year I've been having trouble maintaining an erection for the full lenght of intercourse, even when using a combination of 100mg sildenafil and 20mg tadalafil. 6 months ago I broke up with my GF and started PMOing more frequently than before. Now I've recently met a new girl, whom I really like, and I've had four total failures with her so far, even when using the combination of sildenafil and tadafil. No successful attempts with her so far. It's a miracule that she has not let me yet. I went to a urologist to ask him to prescribe caverject to me, but instead he just told me to go no-PMO for at least two months. I've only done a week so far, and I have not yet had another attempt at sex with the girl. Really going to make a commited attempt to reboot. Even if it would take me a year. However, I realize that I may be beyond complete repair.. I may in the future be forced to get a penile prostesis.. But I will definantly not give up like that, before fighting this thing..

 

I actually don't remember how often I used to watch porn in my teenage years. But I was masturbating probably daily, on average. And watching porn probably several times per week. It escalated when I got my first personal computer, probably around 18yo. I guess by then I started fapping to porn daily. Sometimes more than once per day, but then again there were probably days when I didn't fap, and there were days when I did fap but without using porn. But yeah, between the ages of 18 to 28, I would fap to porn most days (usually not more than once per day though). I was definantly edging in most sessions, until I could found the perfect clip to orgasm to (usually a facial clip, honestly).

I actually never watched a lot of penetration. In the very beginning, it was mostly just solo female bodies or lesbian scenes. Soon enough however, I started out watching a lot of blowjobs. Then pretty quickly after that I graduated to watching facials almost exclusively. So for most of the 10 year period (18-28yo) I've been fapping to (mostly amateur) facials, imagining being the guy.

Trigger warning, about my porn inspired extreme sex life with the ex GF:
(Facials are still a major turn on for me (although I'm trying to unlearn this now), and it's was a large part of the "rutine" of me and my last GF's sex life, for a almost a full year up until about six months ago when we broke up. I've given facials to other girls before, but the GF seemed to really get excited about turning me on that way, and I just loved doing it to her. We had a quite extreme sex life honestly, both of us liked to push boundries. She was also a regular porn consumer. She actually took a lot of initiatives, building on the things that she noticed that turned me one, but finding ways to take them a couple of steps further. There were regularly slapping, choking, (sometimes) spitting and blowjobs including a lot of her licking my perineum while I jacked off. A few times we had sex outside, even public cum walks and (her fantasy ->) rape play).

Since me and the ex GF broke up (differing plans for the future) and I started dating this new girl, I've been trying to stop fantasizing about the more extreme things (giving facials, having my perineum licked and rough sex acts). This new girl seems to be quite innocent and inexperienced. She was even surprised and a bit confused when I asked if I could do it to her doggystyle, while we were attempting to have missionary sex (missionary is a real boner killer for me). I really need to re-learn how to get more excited by normal sex. But, honestly I can hardly remember fantasizing about regular missionary sex. It's as if it needs to be at least doggystyle, for me to get excited.. Preferrably in a dominant/agressive fashion.. I'm trying to forget and get over this though.. I remember having almost exclusively "regular" sex acts with my first two girlfriends, at 20 and at 24 to 25. So it should not be beyond me, one might think. But these four times that I attempted to have normal regular sex with this new, more innocent girl, have all been almost total boner failures.. I really like this girl. It's a testament to her that she hasn't moved on from me yet, despite my boner failures. I'm falling for her more and more, becoming afraid to loose her even though we're not even officially a couple.

No. I just started ordering them illegaly, online. Never talked to a doctor until a week ago when I visited the urologist who advised me to go no PMO, and I havn't PMO's since.. I'm realizing that I may have to do a very long reboot in order to have any shot of repairing the damage (if it's even possible). For the longest time, I was too embarrassed to talk to a doctor. And I didn't feel the need to, as long as the pills worked. But once even the pills didn't work anymore, I felt there was no way of just pushing this issue aside anymore..

 

Thanks for the pep talk I will definantly give it a shot. Even if it would take me a year or two of PM reboot. Although, I don't think I will go full PMO, because I still want to be able to date and test out my PIED progress once in a while..

 

Morning boners are back!!! Had it the last few days