NoFap Year 4 Journal

I've been doing NoFap for 4 years my best streak is 254 days currently I'm on Day 140. I'm doing Saint mode as I have developed two modes higher than monk mode; i've created Saint mode (No PMO, sex, or wet dreams) and God mode (Saint mode for 7 years or longer). This is a daily journal and I hope it inspires you all in some way:

First year keep a journal (here goes)!

NoFap Year 4 Journal:

Day 5- I start the New Years right with a set of 40 year Olds tits in my mouth; she's on her period and refuses to give oral. Sucked tits for several hours, fell asleep together, wokeup next morning and told never to return. Luckily didn't jizz or get blueballs.

Day 12- First set of urges come in after viewing non-nude India Love in XXL. Girl on the street in Boston runs into my arms she works in the billing department of an advertising agency...has a boyfriend.

Day 16- Older Milf smiles at me in seafood restaurant with direct eye contact.

Day 17- Called by business partner on most important business venture in my life. We agree to discuss all business plans on Sunday the 31st; received message over Linkedin about a contract out of Ohio. Met a huge titted Puerto Rican 18 year old from Miami; gave her my IG she goes to look it up and immediately her phone dies (should have gotten her # i'm 25 and way smarter than that). Downloaded IG just so I could wait for her follow (it never came) hit up by a huge tit Air Force chick from my Texas days two years ago (she has two kids now but I want to see where this goes I leave her my #...balls in her court). Coworker tells me to go into a private bank and holler at this Milf banker we've all spent a year checking out (we decide not to embarass her on the job and to hit her up next time we see her).

Day 18- More urges...thoughts of pornographic scenes from my past I fought them vigorously... testosterone increase and extremely anger. Forced to keep my cool since i'm living with my boss, his wife, and three children. Extreme anger and rage inside. Went to the bank less than $100 to my name.

Day 19- Belene texted me back today, I was glad to hear from her. She's everything I need in a wife and she's supportive of my agricultural pursuits. Her mother has helped me think and grow more into a man; we met in Brookline and God told me to talk to her. She invited me to her church and introduced me to Belene...I want to go with them to Ethiopia in December. RJ created the cover for my EP he's going to be a force in the music industry I've always knew this.

Day 20- Took my first martial arts class and it felt amazing! The instructor told me I need to make more time for myself, def need to quit my job this year if I want to evolve as a man. I've been doing door to door sales for the last 2 years it's time to become an entrepreneur. I plan to study Systema and Wudang Sanfeng Sect TaiYi and hopefully train with Grandmaster You Xuande in the future.

Day 21- Plan to quit my job by July 31st hopefully by April 30th. Waiting until midnight tonight to hear back from all the companies who want to do a brand partnership with my record label. So far Baidu is the only companies. Spoke to Belene again I decided not to go to church this week so I didn't see her (needed to save money for these two agricultural conferences). Found out she's been a vegan for 7 years, super dope. Applied for two jobs with the Trustees of Reservations here in Massachusetts just as a backup plan if my farm isn't acquired. I need to be more confident with my pursuits in life this is my reality.

Day 22- Hired a professional to do my taxes, its' time to get my finances together i'm going to get right with the IRS and change my fucking life. Finished watching every single Cannabis video on YouTube it took me months; shout-out to Natti G from Justice Genetics and Browndirtwarrior!

Day 23- Finally quit my door to door sales job after 2 years and one month of work. My bosses wife made us sleep in the car in 19 degree weather and that was the last straw. I want to spend December in Ethiopia but I need to get my life together. Headed off to go work on a farm.

Day 27- I am back living on the streets for the 9th time in my life. God is giving me constant signs daily to work on a farm. I finished reading my second book of the year today 58 more to go. I entered the Southampton Shelter here in Boston and have to wait until the 27th of January (4 days away) for my caseworker to give me my official verification of homelessness. With this form I can enter the Adkins Program which is a 6-9 month program that will give me a job and get me back into college. I want to grow my cannabis and I want to be on the farm so I applied to the Trustees of Reservations again for the fourth time for a PR Internship. I'll visit the Boston office on High St soon and drop off my resume. The 27th will be a busy day for me not only will it be a week for me at Southampton but I also have a court date in the morning and a meeting at lunch with my farm advisor. I hope all goes well for me next week; last night I was tempted for the second time by the Incubus and succubi again this time in the form of an orgy. They are trying to capture my semen but I will continue to fight them off and obtain my superhuman powers.

Day 29 - Still in the homeless shelter, feel like i'm coming down with a fever (everyone around me is getting sick). Finished my business plan for my Cannabis Farm that i've been working on for months, it's going to cost me $160,000 to start. Finished my business plans for my record label (going to cost me $131,000 to start) decided not to stick with Baidu. Meeting with Peter this Sunday only other options in life are to work at Weir Farm in Hingham or go back to school and stay in to get my doctorate degree and work for the United States Foreign Service. Getting closer to God and i'm leaving it in his hands. Finished my third book of the year.

Day 32- Met with Rose the other day she's my mentor in farming had a great meeting, decided that I do need to go back in finish college but not for the Foreign Service for farming. Most likely will attend Greenfield community college; went to court again the other day and the Commonwealth is now trying to charge me with a second transient charge other than the Aggravated Battery because the woman in the accident broke her pelvis. Still fighting both charges if I'm convicted in anyway my membership in the WWOOF and other business and opportunities in Cannabis and farming will be put in jeopardy. I have and I will beat both of these charges; finished my fourth book of the year. So far ive read the following:

-The Decision Book: 50 Models for Strategic Thinking by Mikael Krogerus & Roman Tschäppeler - Marijuana Horticulture: The Indoor/Outdoor Medical Grower's Bible by Jorge Cervantes -The History of Sexuality, Vol. 1: An Introduction by Michel Foucault - My Empire of Dirt: How One Man Turned His Big-City Backyard into a Farm by Manny Howard

Day 36- I had my meeting with Peter and he could not provide the $160,000 that I need to start my Cannabis operation but he still wants me to take over the 56 acre farm. I'm currently working with the Commonwealth to do this and I have applied to work on two farms. After reading Plato I decided that government work is not in my future...well I won't rule it out completely but it definitely isn't a goal of mine. I'm applying for work and working hard to reach my goals of owning my farm I only have $30 to my name. I have now finished six books:

-The Crow Island Journal by Clinton Trowbridge

-Greek Political Theory The Image of Man in Thucydides and Plato by David Grene

Day 40- Wow! I made it 40 days it's been a long time although I'm no longer watching porn or masturbating and feel great (hard-on's coming back)! I've decided that this journal and a documentary needs to be made on my life which will include an all-night mansion orgy scene with (Angelica Sin and Hot Mandi) thus far. I'm starting to feel more powerful but i'm facing 2 felony charges that I'm fighting to beat; finished reading my seventh book.

-The Rodale Book of Composting by Deborah L. Martin and Grace Gershuny

Day 45 - Fought more Incabus (five days back) yesterday met former Delta Force soldier here in the Shelter he advised me to open all of my Chakra's through Kundalini, Angelic Reiki, and Tantra. I also know that I can maximize my humanity with Kabbalah, Golf, Pine Pollen, and natural cosmetics. Tomorrow I will start a 40 day fast; I am coming to true realizations about my humanity and me and RJ are arguing again about my going to college. If I do decide to go back I will get my associates from UMASS Amherst; I must continue to meditate and reach the higher levels and continue to read scripture. I finished my eighth book.

• The Change Makers From Carnegie to Gates, How the GREAT ENTREPRENEURS Transformed Ideas into Industries by Maury Klein

Day 52- I ended my 40 day fast after 5 days of living off of nothing but 0.8 Gallons of water a day. I learned alot about myself and that I need to focus on my music career. Women are staring and approaching me everywhere I go.

Day 54- Fighting intense urges to watch porn and masturbate, coming down with the flu just finished my 9th book and the homeless shelter isn't helping me at all. Sue resigned as my caseworker and Denise is taking her place; the Red Bull Music Academy applications are up and I cannot apply for this year. Life is absolutely at it's lowest point, headed to Project Place today to apply for the program the shelter says that's the only way i'll get a bed and a locker. Need to get into my own housing as soon as possible...rock bottom.

• The Way to the Top The Best Business Advice I Ever Received - Donald J. Trump

Day 59- Got into the Project Place program my orientation starts tomorrow at 3pm and the four weeks of classes start on March 7th. I'm starting to feel more powerful than most people around me; met a producer that has a studio in Waltham and Charlestown going to put out 12 new songs and put together this EP. I finished my 10th book and i'm now studying how I can retire early and make money off of Chinese SEO. A woman came up and touched my hair today (that hasen't happened in months), I got my contract bed in the homeless shelter so I can now stay out until 10:30pm. I also put together my home studio plan when I get into my new apartment. I feel stronger and wiser and ready for my future as an entrepreneur.

• Augustus: The Life of Rome's First Emperor by Anthony Everitt

Day 65- After applying to 75 jobs I may have a job at a Pizza place, my penis is much larger and I stare down almost anyone, women are attracted to me...very Alpha.

Day 72- My Nofap counter works again...finished applying to 77 jobs and finally got an interview at the one I want the most. They want to move me to Nantucket to work for the summer! This is exactly where I want to live and spend the rest of my life (Ethiopia too but that will be later on). I'm still currently homeless and now i'm about to be in one of the wealthiest parts of America and the wealthiest place in Massachusetts. I've been working hard on my Iphone App company and hired a permanent developer...currently I need to get over 1000 vendors within the first year to compete with Thibault Villet's powerful monopoly (Mei). I've come to the realization that setting up an office in Boston is pointless and that my office will need to be in New York or Shanghai. Currently I have 0 vendors but i'm in talks with Hipanema and Haizhen Wang. Headed to the Deisel store I don't talk their hiring but who knows want to check it out giving all Shanghai designers until April 9th to contact me back if no contact is given i'll have to go directly to Italy and speak with Renzo Rosso about doing a deal. If that falls though my only option would be to move to Shanghai and bootstrap like no tomorrow. My record label is going well and i've made alot more connections I have 13 new songs to release just waiting to save up the $875 for my engineer so I can go in the studio and put them out. Tonight i'll be attending a two hour talk on how to give a TEDx talk can't wait! I've been studying chess and defeating everyone I play. I missed the game with Larry Christiansen yesterday in South Station i'll have to catch it again on April 12th. This Saturday is the 4th Annual Massachusetts Farming Conference can't wait to attend! Then on the 24th I have my next court date...life is really good can't wait till I own my house! I'm more motivated and powerful and I command respect from all those around me, I look and think about women with indifference and I've been practicing Brahmacharya. I'm also starting a new YouTube series with a Shaman pretty soon so stay tuned for that! Last week I manifested $50 on the ground and now I'm manifesting myself surrounded by $100's. I was 50 minutes late to my Project Place appointment so I can't start until April; but I still go every Tuesday and Thursday for the enrichment meetings. I walked 2-3 hours from South Boston to Allston just to be told by the manager of Pizzaria Regina that his district manager didn't tell him about my interview....SUPER PISSED! Luckily I got a text inbetween that told me to be at South Station by 2:30pm and that's how I got my interview with Oath Craft Pizza, waiting to start my first day.

Day 73 - Pressure in my genital area i've applied to 79 jobs at this point. Finished reading my 11th book.

• Chess Traps, Pitfalls & Swindles by I.A. Horowitz and Fred Reinfeld

Day 74 - Today I applied to college again after 7 years of being out of school…I applied to 80 jobs and have only received one interview; I’m tired of living on the streets and applying to these jobs. Might as well finish up this associates degree and see how far it takes me. What do I have to loose, I’ve already lost everything nine different times! Going to be successful in all of my endeavors from here on out. People are being more positive towards me and I also found out all the info I need about getting into public housing. Went down to the Secretary of States office and found out that only 172 people are members of my political designation (The World Citizens Party). Going to grow it to over 40,000+…never has been done in Massachusetts history.

Day 93- On Day 90 I walked into church and met Seán Patrick O'Malley (the highest ranking Catholic in America) I had him give me a blessing and he signed my Bible. I was honored that this happened and I felt a high spiritual power over him, but I did not feel this presence around him three acolytes. I asked them about Eve and Genesis Chapter 3 and they had no answer for me. My views overall on Roman Catholicism is completely changing and i'm considering converting to Orthodox Judaism. After applying to 97 jobs and only receiving two interviews I now have two job interviews coming up one at the Boston Sports Club and the other at an art gallery. I finished my 12th book.

• The Economy of You: Discover Your Inner Entrepreneur and Recession-Proof Your Life by Kimberly Palmer

Day 103- After having several dream where a Succubus tried to take my semen AGAIN! I contacted professionals for help on how to kill her, I am now working with a professional at the University of Pennsylvania for advice. I've applied to 99 jobs and I've still been unsuccessful at finding work I have now gone 12 weeks without a job. I cannot reach the Rabbinical Court to convert I've showed up in person twice and called I will give them until May 8th. I have finished 15 books now:

• Status Update: Celebrity, Publicity, and Branding in the Social Media Age by Alice E. Marwick
• Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson

-Practice of Brahmacharya by Sri Swami Sivananda

I have decided to continue to pursue my three entrepreneurial ventures with the goal of becoming an entrepreneur by July 31st of 2016.

Day 105- Starting to feel more depressed now in my 12th week without a job but still optimistic, I signed up to become a member of The Nation of Islam so that I can help with their agricultural pursuits. I have now applied to 100 jobs and have only received four interviews; going to contact the IRS now since my last job has failed to send me my W-2. Putting together my business plan for the Royal Jelly operation it's been pretty tough but still working on it; going to take William A. Sahlman's advice on how to write a business plan this time around. Waiting to hear back about my $11,000 grant to create my music and I contacted the Jewish Rabbinical court four times today to inquire about my conversion...I won't be contacting them anymore. Finished 17 books up to that point:

• George Washington's Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation by George Washington
• The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav

Day 108- The entry I wrote just erased so I will try my best to be quick in rewriting what I wrote. I received my W-2 from my former job and found out that I made a little over $15,000 last year actually only $15,748.00 for those of you who are bad at math that's $7 an hour I was getting raped for two years. I got in contact with the Rabbinical court and i'm meeting with the Rabbi this Friday to see if he will sponsor me for conversion; the succubus came to me again but this time it was in the morning and she looked exactly like a present-day Klondyke Kate. Me and two other businessman were apart of the Professional wrestling industry and had conspired to pimp out this Klondyke Kate look a like to all the higher ups and male wrestlers. We started flirting in the ring and then began making love in the elevator until I woke up. It seems like the succubus is getting more aggressive she changed her habits from night to morning and her form from old and gray haired to fat and blonde. I'm taking financial classes to better my finances today.

Day 109- I forgot to mention on Day 106 I had a chess game with GM Larry Christiansen (2577) in South Station: I lost in 23 moves happy I made it past 20 though; the game was over by my 1st move played B5...lol what was I thinking???! He played white I played as Black: e4, b5? d4, Ba6 NF3, c6 Bd3, Nf6 O-O, e6 Nd2, Be7 B3, O-O C4, B4 E5, Nh5 NE4, D5 E5xD6, Be7xD6 NE4xBD6, Qd8xNd6 Bd3xH7, KG7xBd3 Kg5+ , KH6 Kf7+ , Kg6 Kf7xQd6, Rd8 Qg4+ , Qh7 18.Qg4 x Nh5+ ,Qg8 Kf7, Rxd4 Kg5, Kd7 Qf7+ , Kh8 Bb2, Rg4 Qb7 ++ (my annotation is horrible btw)

Day 113- On Saturday went to East Boston and hung out with Stiletto and her friends for a few hours; we went up to the Madonna to pray. Had a great meal and smoked two mediocre joints...got high and really horny. Almost relapsed came home and spent 2 minutes looking at pornographic images on Twitter (Day 110)...felt bad about it but no relapse. My locs are infested with lice need to fix that ASAP, going to pay for the Del the Funky Homosapien tickets and continue to work on my life.

Day 114- Finished applying for college, got shampoo for the lice but the nurses said I need to cut my hair because the nits are stuck within my freeform dreads and will continue coming back, but going to get a professional opinion before I do. Emailed Damian Walter he did my locs for his advice buying my ticket today to see Del the Funky Homosapien in concert hopefully I can rap for him finished two books totaling 19 for the year:

• The Fourth Dimension Volume One by Dr. David YongGi Cho
• Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months by Melinda F. Emerson

Day 115- Last night the succubus came back and a new more aggressive form, in the form of an orgy three way. Three dark skinned females and one of them was my mother with a penis; I engaged in sex with the two females and ejaculated and grew so angry I commended my semen back into my penis while it was shooting out like a fire hydrant. The semen reverted back into my penis and the three females faded away. I woke up....no wetdream I defeated her again...but she is getting more aggressive and offensive.

Day 123 - Today I graduated from the Work Study program at Project Place they have helped me obtain shower shoes and receive my Massachusetts Drivers License. I am still without a job after applying to 107 jobs. I applied to Bunker Hill Community College and I have been told that I am delinquent in loans, so I need to speak with the school and work on it. Yesterday I released my first project in four years "Agrarian Recluse" via soundcloud and earlier in the week I met up with Michael Christmas; I finished reading my 20th book for the year:

• The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel (6+ hour audiobook)

Day 125- I finished my 21st book and graduated from the Project Place program and at this point I've applied to 109 jobs, court is this month and I've signed up for a medical study to test medicinal marijuana for six months. Last night I had a dream that the succubus took the form of Harley Raine; she almost defeated me but i beat her again.

• The Hidden Dimension by Edwin T. Hall

Day 129 - Starting to see the truth and actuality of the universe, cannot continue to go to Project Place...yes they helped me switch over my driver's license and got me the shower shoes but I have to be independent of myself, that is what got me out of being homeless the eight other times. Have a meeting with my case worker Jocelyn the other day she's cool but I have other idea's...higher more prosperous ideas. My foodstamps hit today so far i've purchased a veggie drink, three Jalapeno cheese sticks, and a bag of Pepperjack Cheese-it's. Give away two of the Jalapeno cheese sticks to another homeless man in the library. Finished two other audiobooks which puts me at 23 books read for the year:

• The Law and the Word - Thomas Troward (Audiobook)
• The Hidden Power and Other Papers on Mental Science - Thomas Troward (Audiobook)

Working on an ultimate self improvement plan that contains: meditation, gym, Taiyi, and Yoga in that order. Signed up for the free TM class this Sunday website stated that if your homeless you can get a full free scholarship into the (4 month program)...we will see. Cutting back on playing chess by still need to study alot of games and probably read some Lasker. The gym membership will cost $780 but my most important endeavor now is getting a job so that I can continue to make my music. At this point I've applied to 111 jobs and i'm checking on seven jobs now. Del the Funky Homosapien is playing at Middle East tomorrow I purchased a ticket to the concert but I need to call the club since I've switched my Florida driver's license over to a Massachusetts driver's license but it's a temporary version. Starting to feel depressed but I am maintaining positive because I know that I control the universe within myself and all affairs. Several days ago a girl approached me asking for directions for a job interview that was right across the street...didn't pick up on it until I left her presence that she was hitting on me. I'm so focused on improving myself I see females but I don't see them (same with males). I'm working on surrounding myself with great people and taking back my life and mastering my soul.

Day 130- Finished my 24th book:

• Mastery of Self for Wealth, Power, & Success by Frank Channing Haddock (audiobook)

Day 131- Last night I went to the Del the Funky Homosapien show and he promised to be there at 9:45 but he never came out so I stood in the rain for four hours waiting for a picture with him that never came. But the night was still amazing I couldn't get into the show because I switched my Florida driver's license to Massachusetts and the club doesn't except a temporary license. I gave my ticket away to some guy named Tim and he had a great night. It was my first night hanging out in public for awhile and I wanted to see how powerful my NoFap abilities had gotten. WOW! Women flocked to me without me doing ANYTHING; hands all over me one girl kept kissing my hand. Another girl flirted me with in front of her husband and gave me her card with her number on it in front of him. One girl walked by me twice and looked at me like she wanted to rip my clothes off me, the third time she walked by me she said "You should be asking me for my number" I told her I had a present for her and she opened her hand and I filled it with beautiful shake of Cannabis (Trainwreck x GSC). She gave me her number...i'll call her when i'm ready too busy perfecting myself. The guy who gave me that weed for FREE (like 2 grams) works in the Cannabis business and wants to work with me as well we had a great conversation. Then some random guy came up and told me he hangs out at Bukowski's and gave me some acid (first time I've tripped in 6 years and the trip was totally normal). I realized that I am a God within this universe, that there is no reason to argument my opinions or beliefs with others, and that I can have all that I wish. Met a guy from Poland and he shared with me his perspective on the music industry and brought me a beer. Today I set in the library bathroom and cried for the first time in months just to get some aggression out (I never cry... time to master life again)!

Day 136- Today I had my job interview with Brooks Brothers and I think it went well but I will have to wait and see. This is my fifth job interview of the year, afterwards I stopped by the hydroponics store and checked on my application there. The old guy quit and they may have one day a week available. From there I got my credit score and report for Cuestra Nuestra. My boy Peter let me wear his Brooks Brothers suit I feel like a God.

Finished my 25th books The Science of Getting Rich (A Thrifty Book): Wallace D. Wattles (audio)

Day 138- Both of my cellphones were stolen from me in the homeless shelter I lost alot of info...i'm disappointed but I must move on.

 

Read: Practice of Brahmacharya by Sri Swami Sivananda

 

Cool what day are you on?

 

Day 138- Both of my cellphones were stolen from me in the homeless shelter I lost alot of info...i'm disappointed but I must move on.

Day 146- Two days ago (Day 144) the miraculous happened, I went to Brookline because Moby was having a book signing. I stepped into the line and after a minute the most beautiful woman stepped behind me and said "Moby, this should be good!" at first I didn't say much but I complimented her on her scarf. She said she got it from Ann Taylors. Moby was hilarious during the book signing and during it and after we got to know each other and have alot in common. We exchanged info and it was a great night out; that same day Brooks Brothers told me to come in this Wednesday for my second interview. NoFap is turning me godly.

Day 152- I'm starting to realize that I am powerful as I choose to become, focusing on my focus. At this point I have applied to 121 jobs and obtained six job interviews (still waitin to hear back about the second interview I had at Brooks Brothers I'll call on the 8th of June) and I'm pretty well worn out. I'll be applying to my final jobs on June 8th (well calling them back). If I do not receive employment from the last jobs I call I'm just going to do volunteer work at a food bank. My farm deal failed and with it died my idea to create a Royal Jelly company. Instead I've decided to continue making my music and live a more reclusive agrarian opulent lifestyle. Martha at the shelter is looking for additional places around Boston for me to live. I've decided to hire Savannah Britt as the PR agent for my music. I'm still trying to find out how I can do about producing four songs a day trying to sign a production deal & create an urban homestead. I've been working my hardest to keep my mind busy the lice in my hair is growing more and more aggressive by the day even though i'm using the lice shampoo. I finished m 26th book of the year. Going to keep fighting the good fight.

Penthouse Uncensored III

Day 155 - I finished applying to college and now I have to wait for some IRS forms and my loans to find out what's happening with them. No job still so far but job fair this Thursday, I finished reading two book

Washington Writings - George Washington

The Annotated Alice The Definitive Edition - Lewis Carroll

Day 161 - I finished reading my 30th book of the year:

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield

Over the last several days, I've gone though alot the shelter gave me an ultimatum and made me cut off my locs if I wanted to stay. So I cut them, I receive tons of positive comments and feedback. Right now I have eight potential jobs that I'm applying to and I received offers from two jobs out of the 128 that I've applied to. I'm not going to take the jobs because they are sales jobs and going to pull me back into the old life that I was living. I contacted the local record label (2 actually) about my record deal and I'm going to see what they are going to say. I'm super motivated and ready to start work; still waiting for my phone to come in the mail. I analyzed my entire life and I definitely see and understand my ultimate purpose and I plan to achieve the purpose and make it happen. I'm no longer worried about my living conditions or my court cases or the amount of money I have I'm focused on achieving the goals in life that I must accomplish. I'm no loner running from my old self.

Day 164 - So much has happened within the last several days yesterday was an AMAZING day! I met one of my former coworkers whose now a real estate agent, I got my new phone in the mail and hit up everyone that I needed to. I went to the studio for the first time in over a year and just hung out and vibed until 2am. Today I did yoga for the first time in 17 months and they were palying the ambient music by Moby who I met last month so it was crazy synchronicity. Tomorrow I have my interview for USPS and i'm taking my second round of financial classes to help build my credit starting tonight. Life is starting to look up and get better; one of the workers at the shelter also mentioned the BET Rap Cypher that I plan to win this year which is nuts! I've been saying my positive affimations 40 times a day and I believe that my subconscious mind is working and going to quickly change my reality. I understand that there are higher worlds that I must travel to but I must master the world that I am currently in.

Day 167 - USPS rejected me from the job because of my pending charges I have an upcoming interview this Wednesday and I decided to take the sales job for the quick $500. Went to MIT yesterday for the Boston Asian landlord seminar and learned more about joint venture development deals. Finished my 31st book:

Ploutocrats The Rise of the new global super-rich and the flal of everyone else by Chrystia Freeland

Day 169 - Tomorrow I have two job interviews lined up and I've applied to 135 jobs this will make 11 interviews in total. I finished reading my 32nd book:

Fundamental W.E.A.L.T.H. Principles by Clyde Anderson

Today I realized i'm completely just wasting time by going to Project Place and I need to be more restrictive over my time and the time that I give away and up to others. Going to obtain one of these jobs tomorrow and change my life forever and start making my music again like I desire to.

Day 170- The succubus came back AGAIN last night after weeks of leaving me alone, I defeated her again. Simply because I love and worship my semen and the internal and external powers that it gives me. Today I have two job interviews and tomorrow I have two more. One which will allow me to get into the Bitcoin industry which I'm very excited about. My entire life I've been confused about where my entrepreneurial path will begin and now I can honestly say that I have it narrowed down to three areas: Real Estate Development, Bitcoins, or my Record Label. I have been constantly reading about how to obtain power and I realize that most power is about from failing companies and privatization of governmental contracts. I'm starting to feel unstoppable. Gotta go to my next job interview now.

Day 172- Started an independent contractor job with a Bitcoin company, promised myself never to do independent contracting work but it will be work I do on the side I hear back from the clothing company job on Monday.

Day 175- Extreme pain in my balls and testes for the last two days...have to start practicing Kundalini. Find out about my job today super excited!

Day 177- Today I feel like a God, I'm confident and focused and I have developed a new way of walking which connects and aligns me with all universal forces I call it the "Macho Man" because that's what a woman called me when I was walking down the street; after going on 13 job interviews and applying for 136 jobs and only receiving 6 of those jobs I finally found one that I love. I'm loading ice off of a truck and I LOVE IT! I'm hornier than ever and I see large voluptuous breasts everywhere (it's summer in Boston). I realized today I will no longer give women unwanted power I will keep my power to MYSELF! I'm starting school again in September to finish my associates degree in Finance or History (whichever I can finish faster) and I decided today that I'm going to move to Brookline and continue to invest in my blog and music. I smile more I'm proud of be alive; my testicles hurt like HELL but I'm baring the pain to reach the ultimate goal God status on Earth. They DON'T want you at this level, they want your semen and your power....the females and the demons. I shutdown my foodstamps for good today I'm going to be wealthy and live life different and you will too!

Day 182 - I'm back at square one and I feel like the biggest failure in the world...today I quit my job again after looking for a job for the last five months. I didn't do it because I wanted to I did it because I had to, I was given an ultimatum. When I started working six days ago, I loved the job and the first three days were awesome! I was excited I told everyone I had a job, I made plans with Cheryl (for breakfast at a 5 star hotel, which I have to keep now). On the fourth day I was going to be tested on my driving (driving a Ryder ice truck) to make a long story short they put me with a guy whose been in the business for 25 years and I got nervous and failed miserably. He drove me is my bosses car back to the office and I was sent on a mission to ice an ice luge to a birthday party in Saugus, MA. I drove out and Italian tits were EVERYWHERE! Made it back and finished my shift working in the warehouse, they fed us pizza. I went and asked my boss what time she wanted me to come in tomorrow and she told me she would call on my Monday and to take Sunday off...she never called. I texted her today and she shot me back at email saying that Bob the head driver felt that I was unable to drive and that the only position that was available to me was being a helper for $10 an hour and if I still wanted the job. I told her no because I can make that working at the homeless shelter which is what I'll most likely end up doing; watching my pay go from $14 an hour to $10 an hour was horrible. How could life be so great just five days ago? God, what did I do? Did I eye rape too many women? I've been saying my positive affirmations 40 times everyday really trusting and believing in it. Is this all a test and if so have I failed? I went back to Project Place to use the phone and I settled all my issues with the IRS for now. I'm thinking about going to Massachusetts Vocation Rehab for help looking for work but to be honest I'm worn out and tired of looking for work. I contacted the minority officers association for help on my legal case as well and my explained what happened on my job to my caseworker at Project Place. She berated me and told me I quit things to fast...I'm done with her. I scheduled a tour of the music studio, $85 an hour for Room B most I've ever paid to record but fuck it, the secretary girl was super hot and smiled at me....somewhere deep deep deep inside of myself I still have IT. Even though it feels like I've going around and around in circles I'll figure my life out one day. I know I want to be a professional musician and that is what I will become. Everything else in this world and in this life is completely irrelevant I must persevere on....and start working out.

Day 186- I went back and asked for my job back after reading on Reddit how a guy was only making $6 a day. It's a cool job and will allow me the money I need to make my music and invest in my blog...all that I ask for in life. After speaking with The Economist, they charge $75,000 a campaign so my main goal will simply be to pay the $10,000 to revamp my blog and get it up and running for the world and work on monetization of sponsors at $2000 monthly a pop with the goal of getting in the top 53,000 of all websites on the internet. Doing this will at least make me $24,000 a year and I wouldn't have to work...going to keep my job until that sponsorship fee hits $14,000 a month though. Going to save for the gym membership in Back Bay it's $65 a month and start taking my fitness serious. I want to climb Mount Siple. I also decided not to drop-out of the Medical Marijuana study when I realized I'm the first person in Harvard Medical School history to be paid to smoke medical marijuana...that's pretty damn cool! Went to the dentist today and found out that I have to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled and cleaned and that I have ALOT of cavity's. Other than that life is good getting ready to put out new music.

Day 190 - Got paid for the first time in 6 months, budgeted all my money and spent $97.00 in Whole Foods buying supplements and vegetables. Got a brand new haircut my second one in the last two years and purchased some Argan Oil. Getting ready to send money over to Ethiopia to help the children in need. Off of work for the next three days...have to email my boss, awaiting IRS paperwork to take to the college. Waiting to hear back from Cheryl this week if she doesn't hit me back i'll continue to save my money. Saving up to revamp my blog, Kevin Gates manager hits me back their charging $10,000 for a verse... I need time to think that over. Failed to obtain my $11,000 music grant that I waited months for, not deterred. Waiting for the BET Cypher contest to start so I can upload my video and win this year.

Day 192- Just been working, put all of my debts together and made an expense plan finished the following two books which puts me at 34 for the year.

The Perfection of Yoga by A.C. Bhakti Vedanta Swami Ababhupada

Identify your passport to success by Stedman Graham

Day 196- Most of the supplements that I've been taking are worthless and they include: Hemp Protein, Chlorophyll, Reishi Mushroom, Lecithin Granules,and Lemon Balm. The Reishi is giving my dry throat and the Chlorophyll is making my pee ALOT! Going to still try out the Beardgrowther, Vitabeard, Atirasadi Churna, Lexington Steele Volumizer, Cell Tech, Royal Jelly, Ormus Gold, and Test X180 Alpha and let you know the effects finished my 35th book as well.

MEMORY: How to Develop, Train and Use It by William Walker Atkinson (Audio)

Day 198- Yesterday I had a 60 year old woman at the shelter tell me that she thinks i'm more special than any of the 400+ men here and that she thinks I would be a perfect person to marry her daughter. Life is going good connected with an old coworker and we spent over an hour on the phone talking, connected with my cousin again who recently got out of jail, I texted every single person in my phone the following question "What are your goals?" surprisingly most of the answers were very religious in nature. I'll be getting my wisdom teeth taken out in August they said I have five instead of the normal four. Last night I had a dream that I owned a large swimming pool that kept shooting out money (in the form of change; quarters, nickels, dimes, and pennies) and my mother didn't believe my wealth until she saw it herself. I believe this is a dream stating of my upcoming financial success. The rap cypher contest started today and I intend to win and go to the BET awards. I had a great conversation with a beautiful Ethiopian woman in the cigar shop she would make a great wife. Got off job at 1pm today and I'm starting to feel more powerful than all of the individuals around me.

Day 203- This is my third time writing this and it keeps erasing I'm on my way to my Harvard Medical School study. But today i'll be posting online my BET cypher video which I intend on winning. I also have college orientation I've been out of school for 7 years and I intend to major in Finance or History and transfer to Umass Amherst, Howard, or Georgetown University. Life has been much better and i'm studying the Kabbalah deeper and trying to understand the Four Worlds i'll be putting out new music soon and I've been saving and investing into my Blog.

Day 204- Finished my 36th book, I was kicked out of the marijuana study because they said I didn't suffer from insomnia enough.

Practical Mental Influence by William Walker Atkinson (Audio)

Day 210- Finished my 38th book, there's actually alot I want to say here for the simple fact that NoFap is getting harder and harder as the days go on. I've realized that I am obtaining more power by completely not staring at women at all and more respect. The porn industry is calling me back, I actually have the opportunity to try-out to be a porn star with Karen Fisher and amateur Hot Mandi; it's tempting but as my days get higher the more temptations come. I know that I must continue focusing on my music and being successful I must continue to retain my semen and become greater and greater. I'm starting to understand that the higher up I go the fewer and fewer people that are left; I must raise above the world. People are starting to call me a genius, and some people even say that I should run for the President of the United States of America in the future.

The Biography Of Iceberg Slim by Justin Gifford -Thought Vibration: The Law of Attraction in the Thought World by William Walker Atkinson (Audio)

Day 212- Finished my 40th book, today was really good I was off of work again and I went to an organization that worked so my classes don't get dropped before my financial aid to comes in. I approached a girl and got the "I have a boyfriend but thank you!" response which was cool because she was beautiful. Hot girl at Starbucks gave me a free coffee going to hit her up next time I go in. I am fearless but I understand that I must study and read Sha'rey K'Dushah by Rabbi Hayyim Vital and follow the laws.

The Secret Garden by David Meltzer

The book of Five rings by Miyamoto Musashi (audio)

Day 217- Finished 42 books up to this point, I can now read a minimum of 40 pages an hour. I think I should probably start going more in depth with these journal entries. I have not worked in the last eight days and I have $1047 to my name. I am focused on my blogging and music career and starting school again after my 7 year absence on September 6th. In two days I get my first wisdom tooth taken out they are starting to hurt, yesterday they hurt so bad that I went to Whole Foods ordered a drink and the beautiful woman working there gave me free Turmeric. I'm starting to see that women are giving me more free stuff everyday like the girl from Starbucks who I mentioned in my last post. I needed a laptop so I made one manifest it's a Dell and it was broken but I'm going today to see if I can get it fixed for $600 or less if not I'll give it away and try to find a cheaper computer for college. I went to the post office and got my passport papers it's only $140 to buy a passport so I need to get one soon because it takes anywhere from four to six weeks to process. The reason being, Dennis my Chemistry major associate from the Shelter wants to go to Columbia so we can party and snort cocaine. I think that would be fun, I want to go to El Poblado in Medellin! Some days I feel stressed but I understand I am the creator. I need to meditate more than what I am this I understand. I've erased everyone out of my phone that doesn't pay me my ultimate goal is to make $8 million a year and I'm redoing who I want to be my mentors.

The Kybalion by The Three Initiates (Audio)

On Practice and Contradiction (Revolutions) by Mao Tse-Tung & Slavoj Zizek

Day 219- I need help...I was close to relapse and I have been trying to hire escorts for the last two days unsuccessfully; I didn't view porn but I came close. I must keep fighting hard and meditating but I'm close to breaking.

Day 221- Yesterday was HELL, I booked the hour with the escort and then when I went to the atm to take out the $300 I hesitated contemplating my actions in fear of loosing everything I've worked hard for this far and God intervened in the heat of my temptation. The ATM stole of debit card and I lost all access to all of my money for the next five days. I finished my 43rd book; I really see the error in my ways and I just want everyone to know that once you cross that 200+ day threshold this become a whole different game. I've decided to keep rapping a hobby and focus on investing in my blog and becoming a fulltime blogger with Arianna Huffington as my mentor; I'm ready for school to start and I'm awaiting my financial aid which should be here by August 17th. I got laid off from my job at Brookline Ice and now i'm going to be working in the homeless shelter; I'm still focused on moving to Nantucket so for now there is a place in Dorchester that I can move into and I'm going to go for it; anything to get out of the homeless shelter...ANYTHING. I contacted Stalley and told him my situation as well (not the full extent) but I do want to work with him musically and support what he's doing in the industry. I look at life differently now and I even am beginning to agree with some of the views of John Calvin.

The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and Dan Kennedy

Day 225- Lost the BET contest, put out a song that wasn't that good, discovered that I'm a Knowledge Worker and I finished my 44th book, need to start working again and going to school and master my life.

The Truth by Neil Strauss

Day 231- NoFap can really drive you crazy if you are not productive and pushing forward with your highest goals and aspirations.