45 days

This is my 4th attempt, and I'm happy with it.

1st = 10 days
2nd = 4 days
3rd = 24 days
4th = 45+

I knew this attempt would be successful, because it was boring. I felt excited to be quitting PMO during the first three attempts, but the 4th attempt was a non-issue.

Results ... I feel stable/calm. Not so up-and-down excitable, and my focus is a little better.

I still need to stay offline during my private time. I'm online now to refresh my anti-virus subscription, but I still had thoughts about going to my previous porn URLs. I check my emails and personal accounts when I'm at work, and this is my first time being online while I'm at home in 45 days. I feel kind of bad, because sometimes I want to get online and give support to all the other NoFappers who are improving their lives. The risk for relapse is still there, so I stay offline.

Advice ... stick with it. If you fall down, then stand up one more time and keep going. It worked for me.


My intro thread.

 

Something that helped me was from an interview with Norwood Fisher. He's the bass player for Fishbone. I don't remember his exact words, but it was something about having the courage to feel the pain ... as in he wanted to feel the pain he had previously avoided.

I used porn and masturbation to hide from pain. The release of endorphins when I orgasmed made my body less uncomfortable and helped me avoid dealing with my anxieties and insecurities.

Now I have the courage to face the uncomfortable moments of my life ... and they are not so bad. Sometimes I wake up at 2am and I'm like "okay, here I am. I accept this and I'll just stay here until I go back to sleep." Previously, I would get super-frustrated and jack off, hoping it would help me sleep.

Anyway, I'm comfortable with being uncomfortable, and I feel stable. Best wishes to everybody who is creating a new life for their their self. Stick with it. It is worth it.

 

Some insights:

• it got easier after 2 weeks.
• small dinners made it easier for me to sleep. Many times I had a light snack, and sometimes I skipped dinner.
• I remember the victories that others had. My favorites were the YouTube videos by Kasumi Kriss.
• once I had small successes and felt calmer, I realized I wanted more calmness in my life. The results from small victories became my motivation for sticking with it. The long-term calmness was worth more than the short-term self-gratification.