Overcoming Lust by Jim Vander Spec kindle book

Thoughts about chapter 1:
* I love how this chapter encourages Christians to find others who wrestle with lust..and to help each other learn and grow in overcoming lust
* I feel that is exactly what this nofap online community offers (I am brand new to nofap as of yesterday)

* "The need for accountability and transparency is best achieved in a one-on-one relationship" -- this is precisely the accountability partner relationship that I am looking for and that I believe this nofap community will help me find.
* That is not to say that discussions/interactions in larger groups (not just pairwise groups) is bad

* "God has given us a means of escape" -- I just finished another book entitled Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn....at the end of the book, it has a long sermon from Charles Spurgeon entitled "Comfort for the Tempted"--this sermon is from September 27, 1883!! And to be honest, it's a little hard to read as it sounds, and is, old. BUT, it talks almost exclusively about temptation.....one of the most encouraging parts is all about the FACT that God promises to always give a way of escape. "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." I Cor 10:13 (ESV)

 

I just read chapters 1 and 2 so far...it's a good book.

I was in the middle of this other book already--Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace by Heath Lambert--and I read a few chapters of that over the last day or two...it's more focused strictly on overcoming P (not the more general category of lust) -- both are hugely important.

 

Hi Colin, hi guys, I did not do well over the holidays and with life's current frustrations. No excuses, I screwed up and did not continue on the book because of that. But that was my screw up and I hope you forgive me. Back in the saddle now, since I believe God does not condemn me, so why should I (Rom 8:28).
I just finished chapter 5 and I have to say, I like this guy's lack of tolerance for ANY sexual jolt or thought. I don't wake up saying I will screw up today, but instead, I rationalize going close to the fence, just see how far I can go. Rationalize means rational lies and I need to stop believing them!
I will start to tackle chapter 6, which you say is a doozy. Praying for you guys - it's our only hope!

 

You are sooo right about chapter 6. Very meaty and a definite stop-go point, by which I mean, there is no brushing this chapter off by calling it "good advice".
Which one of the seven tools did you find most convicting?
The first one hit me like a 2x4 squarely on the head. This is why we are here and cannot turn back.
The second is something that accused me directly. By not mourning my sin, I continuously stayed chained to it. <gotta run, more later>

 

Hi Colin, that is my same issue. The thrill of playing with fire is not something that God supports, nor does it fit with any of the supporting verses. He expressed that well when he said "the illicit sexual buzz is a gateway sin to adultery in the heart." This zero tolerance thinking in connection with mourning sin reminds me that my addiction had progressed so far that it had made me numb to its violations.

 

Hi Colin, I finally finished chapter 7 and wrote all 14 weapons out in my diary. There are a few without which I have consistently failed in my efforts. One that was very apparent was #9 Uprooting all Spiritual Pride. I am very guilty of this one and it has kept me in this never ending cycle of starting down a pathway of sobriety, doing well at the beginning and losing it after about 2 to 3 weeks. That seems to be my cycle. The reason is clearly that I feel I am done and healed. I even feel the devil drops my temptation a bit, just to give me a dose of false spiritual confidence. When time comes, a fight with the wife or other anger bouts drive me into the arms of comfort of hidden pleasures all over again. When writing about this spiritual weapon, I journaled: "Success will come to me because I learn to use these tools properly and consistently. I will not be healed (in past thinking) and convert my sinful nature." This goes against so many testimonies I have heard in church: "I just prayed and now, I no longer feel like smoking!" But dude, you are still tied in this life to that sinful nature and no where in the bible does it say Jesus will slay that sinful nature. It is up to us to starve it and at the same time feed our spiritual nature. The Ying cannot die without the Yang being strong enough to take over the void. This and number 2 and 5 were big breakthroughs for me. I pray these revelations will stay in my heart and guard my thoughts and decisions for the next few weeks, when it gets tough and the rest of my life.
I am praying for you, Colin.

 

Failure in our business is just one more step towards success. "ALL things are used for good for those who love God!" (Rom 8:28). Forgiveness is real and complete and there is nothing you can add to it. The true test is what happens now: will he get back up on the saddle and keep riding. Those rationalizations about only having a few days of sobriety, so enjoy a few more slips are only "rational lies". Praying for you now!
God bless, Tim

 

Hi Colin, just finished chapter 9 and am reinvigorated about scripture memorization. It has long been my issue that I cannot capture my thoughts. 2 Cor 10:5 says we "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." That's good, but I am terrible at taking my thoughts captive. I also catch myself enjoying a bad thought like yesterday in the library seeing a girl who I imagined was full of lust. Yes, I bounced my eyes, but the thought still lingered. I will often even bounce my eyes, leaving the impression that the girl was better looking than she actually was again leaving my thoughts captive to speculative fantasies that led me down a slope of compromising thoughts.
What this book is telling us in this chapter is that we will never be able to "capture our thoughts" if we don't immediately replace them with a memorized scripture. I have often escaped a particularly good time to act out only to have the experience leave me empty - not feeling particularly Christian and definitely not feeling fulfilled. What I hear him telling us is that mediating on scripture is the way. I certainly want to try, my hardest times lately have been the times awake at night. Media consumption only leads to thoughts away from God. What if I meditated on a scripture. Repeated it over and over again in my mind. Thought about it. Prayed about it. My OCD kicks in and I want to have 20 scriptures ready to go, but what if I only did one a day and meditated on that? It's worth a try, what do I have to lose?
Colin, what is a good scripture to try? How are you doing? Are you back on the horse? We got new places in our lives to discover! I am praying for you, Tim

 

Not only bounce our eyes ... but bounce our thoughts. THAT should be our new goal!