Caught him in lies again

I know the feeling. But you need to think in yourself and help him don’t push. I think it is already hard to become the PMO Police.
I realise my husband was cheating on me last week for many years of being married. I know the feeling.
Unfortunately we can not force anybody to change. I asked my husband for the divorce and he seems sorry but at the same time he was still cheating.
So I decided to sleep in different bedrooms, and I went away during the weekend. He decided during that time talked to somebody about his problem and talk to his son (who lives with us) that means a lot for me when they share their addiction to the love ones. So he messages me to have a talk and he had a list with the actions to take in place and keep me with him again. He’s seeking help, making calls and showing me with action that he really wants to change.
That was the only reason that I decided to give him the opportunity. Because he did something, he did the first step.
I can’t be checking his movements I need to take care of my mind also. So in my opinion it’s better to stay if they are doing something otherwise is more pain for me, and forever.

 

I'm sorry you have to go through this. What is your SO doing for his reboot? Has he introduced some hobbies? I made my husband promise that whenever he feels an urge, a wave of anxiety, whatever, anything that could jeopardize the progress he seems to be making, he is to contact me immediately - even if it is the middle of the night. I don't care. We will talk.
Still, I have to admit I doubt he would do it. After 10 years of lying, hiding, dodging, and blaming me for consequences of his actions, I'm afraid he would just decide to go with the known evil...
I think you really have to sit down with your and devise a plan of his recovery. Is he in therapy? Mine is and according to his therapist his addiction was a coping mechanism for anxiety that is deeply rooted in his childhood. For me it was obvious and a lot of things came up that I was telling him for years and years - but now finally he found someone he is willing to listen to. Maybe your partner needs to address the underlying issues if he is struggling?

 

We need to care of ourselves also. I think we should avoid been victims and take control of the situation and look if he is the man that you love, be patient but if you think you are going to be better with a free start without him let’s do it. We can not waste our value time waiting for them to finally recover. At the moment my husband have all my support but we are still sleeping in different rooms. I think they need to feel what is like to be without the women who really loves them.
It’s a hard time and sometimes we need to share this with people that are very close and not judgmental.
Feel beauty and do things that makes you happy. If we are mentallly ok we can think better.