A breakup letter to my addictions, and the beginning of recovery:

Dear Porn and Masturbation,

I was in love with you for more than one and a half decade.

When I was in boys-only school and didn't hang out with the cool guys who get to meet with girls after school, you were there to satisfy my needs. When I was lonely, single and sad, you allow me to put these feelings aside albeit temporarily. You made me feel good when I led a shitty and miserable life, and I kept coming back to you because of that.

But as much as I enjoyed your company, your comfort, and the feelings you gave me, it is time for me to do this:

It's over. We need to break up.

I have been dependent on you for my happiness and my satisfaction, and it is taking a toll on every aspect of my life. As time went on I came to the realization that I was in an abusive relationship with you, and I was placed in a position where it felt like I couldn't live without you. Sure you did make me happy and contended for a brief moment, but once these feelings died down, its back to the shitty feelings and I came back to you for more to run away from them

I don't blame you for all the problems I have with you. I blame myself for choosing you over others. Because of my decision to be with you, I can't get a girlfriend, I can't pursue my life goals and I can't enjoy life with others. I feel like I need to be there for you most of the time, and this is too much for me to handle

So, I'm parting ways with you. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll do fine without you. I have removed all my porn videos so I don't think about you. I have installed porn blockers, removed Tor Browser from my computer, and used another browser on my mobile phone instead of Google Chrome so you won’t stalk me. I know you’ll tell me to come back for you, but please don’t. It’s not going to work out that way, and I have already made up my mind to leave you. I’m going to miss you for a while but eventually, I will find another to be with.

There’s this "someone" I have been interested in. "Her" name is “NoFap and Physical Workout”. I am still feeling uncomfortable and awkward getting to know “her” but I hope things will turn out well for me and “her”. I feel that it will eventually.

Anyways I hope you’ll respect my decision and leave me. We have had our moments together but it's over now. It was great, but it's unhealthy. And with that, we shall leave each other from now on

Goodbye, my former love