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Flirting, dating, getting turned on in normal situations.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Misfit, Sep 18, 2014.

  1. Misfit

    Misfit Fapstronaut

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    OK, so how does one deal with getting turned on during normal conversations that turn to flirting?

    I had a whatsapp chat earlier that got a bit flirtatious and I found myself getting aroused ... I didn't discourage it as I enjoyed the attention, and it clearly wasn't the same to jacking off to porn.

    However, it has led me to feeling horny, and while I'm not gonna act on it, it's still a feeling I'd rather be able to switch off quickly.

    So, it got me thinking ... if we meet a girl (or guy if that's your preference) and we start dating, and we don't have sex straight away, how do we deal with the ongoing tension in the days/weeks/months leading up to us doing the deed?
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2014
  2. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    You don't.
    That's the fun part ;)
     
  3. tarv

    tarv Fapstronaut

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    I've started dating someone since starting my reboot, and we're both the "wait until marriage" types, so no sex on the table.

    Honestly, I've found that having a non-sexual relationship has actually decreased the difficulty of the reboot. Being turned on by a girl in person is very different than being turned on by a computer screen. I have less free time to sit on my computer and look at porn. And I'm less lonely, which was always a trigger.

    Yes, I'm putting myself in situations that cause arousal, but it's totally different mentally, and it's not like we're going as far as we can and then leaving. There's usually some cuddling or chatting or whatever to cool down a bit. By the time I go back home, or she leaves, I'm usually not horny anymore, and I'm definitely not thinking about PMO.

    Just my own experience. Good luck.
     
  4. harish077

    harish077 Fapstronaut

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    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
     
  5. SBoy49

    SBoy49 Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I am a noob.
    Almost two weeks porn free. Today I saw and interacted briefly with a stunningly beautiful woman while doing my job. The image of her kind of burned itself into my brain. She was behaving normally and had her BF with her. I approached the BF first, naturally, and we conversed briefly. I showed him some cool things to photograph and was rewarded with her attention, however briefly. I took the opportunity for several lingering glances at the girl but that was as far as it went. I have been turned on and hungry for porn all day. It seemed like my issue was on-topic for this thread. I am struggling.
     
  6. Jofy

    Jofy Fapstronaut

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    Guess it comes down to being human We were all created as sexual beings - its hardwired into our DNA by the Creator both male and female alike. not that its a excuse because central to what it means to be human is choice we all have choices in our lives no matter who we are or where we are we each have the personal opportunity to choose. Sorry I sounding really formal. Flirting is a fact of life its gonna happen but yeah I agree it probably makes NoFap more difficult but the fact remains you have a choice how you deal with it. Each of us has trigures and we have to be aware of them and how to deal with them so when we see something that makes us think man she's hot or i wanna look porn cos of this or that. Sorry I not telling you anything new that I'm sure you dont know. but i guess what I'm rammbling on about is simply you need to make a choice about how your going to respond before it becomes a issue. just as Benny franklin said - “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!”. I really appreciate Tarv's comments I a single guy but i've found that the more i focus on NoFap the more it becomes a huge issue. In my life i want to put it back into perspective it a part of my life but it not he sum total of my life. Guess when it comes to flirting have fun but set some boundaries and be respectful in the way you do it. I flirt with my female mates but if there married or with someone else i try and respect that. not sure if I've really helped or answered the question and I fear I've just come off sounding like a real know it all if so sorry guys.
     
  7. thenofapman

    thenofapman Fapstronaut

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    I think it's normal that if you meet a girl and your both feeling really horny to have some fun, if that leads to sex this is healthy as far as I see. Society says that we should only be with one person but in human evolution that's not the case. If it's all good fun and no one is getting hurt (both single and free) I don't see any harm. It's all this porn and becoming ISOLATED that is the big danger.

    Even without porn, becoming isolated and staying home on your own, if it's gaming or computer addiction/internet, this is bad for you and messes up your social skills. Flirting, chatting and dating girls is really good for you I think...
     

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