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My Struggle with PIED...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by H3nryFa, Dec 12, 2017.

  1. H3nryFa

    H3nryFa Fapstronaut

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    I've been suffering from PIED ever since i was 18.
    i'm 19 turning 20 now.
    i once reached day 89 of no PMO and relapsed on day 90... even though i felt i
    got a lot of benefits.

    I just met the love of my life and my goal is to stop porn and regain my sexual function
    back for her. I'm currently on day 16.
    Since i did this before, i know what to expect. So even though i'm in a flatline i'm not
    concerned.

    The thing is, porn did much more to me than just desensitize me to real life sex.
    Because ever since i was 12 i watched fetish porn and Brutal deepthroat videos.
    this made me uninterested in vaginal sex (Real vanilla sex). I almost always click away
    a vaginal sex video, just because my brain is not wired to be stimulated by it.

    There was this time where i started doing my own "exposure therapy" where i watched only vaginal sex. It worked actually, vaginal sex porn started to "arouse me" because i taught my brain to do so. But i then drifted back to my regular fetish porn and lost my "gains".

    My story is different than the usual nofap story. I'm not just having problems keeping it up, i'm just not sensitized for Real sex. The Actual REAL thing, the one that i care about the most once me and my current girlfriend'll become sexual.

    I made a promise to myself that no matter what, i'm never using porn again. Not for exposure therapy, not for pleasure not for anything. I know porn is the cause of my fetishes and inability to hold an erection, And i intend to completely take it out of my life.
    I'm on day 16, but to be honest i don't really care about the day. I don't care about milestones, about day 90 and day 180 and day 365.... My Only milestone is when i'm fully cured and able to fully function sexually with my partner and have real craving for vaginal sex, because i know damn well that when i was 16 and i kissed my girlfriend at the time my dick was rock hard. But when i turned 17 all the way to where i'm at now (turning 20 in june), me watching porn extremely, literally destroyed my brain.

    Thank you for reading, it was nice to get this off my chest.
    I hope that if someone feels "desensitized" to real vaginal sex and Sensitized to Other fetishes from porn to talk to me about it, because so far i haven't found a single user with the same problem as i do.
     
    Dsmith29 and r_ryan85 like this.
  2. I feel you man. I cannot remember the last time I had a 100% erection. I think I have been fapping anywhere from a 60-70% to a limp dick for years.
     
  3. Marcobmw000

    Marcobmw000 Fapstronaut

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    I’m in the exact same situation, same age, etc.. do you think that fapping to fetish video for years then stop for 90+ days would takes us back to normal? Sorry I’m French btw. I relapse today after a 23 days streak, I will follow you and restart my journey today! Hope we get better soon bro ☹️
     
  4. H3nryFa

    H3nryFa Fapstronaut

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    I am french too bro. It's okay that you have relapsed. But this should be the last time. Bro think about it, do you want to stay like this? do you want to continue life unable to have normal sex?
    If no, then screw porn. I know i'm going to stop it for life, and hopefully we'll forget fetishes and rewire to the real thing
    If you need help message me bro
     
  5. Marcobmw000

    Marcobmw000 Fapstronaut

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    Merci frérot je comptes bien rayer cette habitude de ma vie parce que en plus chaque semaine je rencontres des filles en boîte etc et j’ai tjr cette peur de passer à l’acte.. lol Sans sa j’aurai déjà eux de nombreuses conquêtes! Mais bon c’est la vie au moins nous sommes au courant de notre problème! Je te souhaites de tous réussir
     
    H3nryFa likes this.

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