What about M without P ?

For me masturbation leds to relapse with porn. I have been happier and felt more in conttol since I stopped masturbating.

 

I’m not sure to be quite honest. If you could do it once in a while and it wouldn’t lead to porn, that would be okay in my book. For me, M without P was has not been desirable for a long time. But I think I might do it at some point, depending on when i have sex again. If I end up having sex, I wouldn’t need to M. But if you do decided to do it, I would try and go 90 days first without anything. I would also strictly limit it to 1-2 times a month.

 

I also have the advantage of being married. If I wear not married then I think I would have to decide if I could do hard mode or just accept that I was going to always PMO. If you can M in moderation without P then I think that is ok. I'm speaking strictly from my experience and I know I can't M in moderation. I'v tried.

 

When I’ve MO’d, I have been able to do it in moderation, but I’m skeptical because I eventually would slip. I’m not sure if it was because of the MO or not. Once I went nearly six months without PMO, and I did MO a few times during that period. So maybe it actually helped me. I don’t know for sure though.

 

My abstinence here is from PMO. I’m a total porn addict, and a sex addict too. I’m learning healthy ways to experience, nurture & embrace my sexuality, which is a God/given gift. (I use God for simplicity, I’m not in any religion, but live a spiritual life based on the program & steps of AA & SAA). This offers huge growth for me. I’m currently single & I believe MO is healthy as long as it’s occasional & not obsessive. I don’t allow myself to fantasize about anyone or any pics/videos cuz that’s the same as porn in my head. If I did fantasize I’d have to reset my time.

In order to have any understanding of what this porn addiction is all about, it’s critical to watch the Gary Wilson YouTube video: “Your Brain on Porn: How internet porn affects the brain”:



Gary is a researcher who has studied porn addiction for some time and describes the neuroscience of the addiction mechanism in the brain. The way porn addiction works is exactly the same way that alcohol and drug addiction work, but the “hit” or “high” from porn is many times stronger than heroin! His website is: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com

I found this summary of Gary’s findings on the web:
“Your Brain On Porn” contends that watching too much onanistic material in adolescence affects the brain in multiple ways. "Porn trains your brain to need everything associated with porn to get aroused," Wilson says. That includes not only the content but also the delivery method. Because porn videos are limitless, free and fast, users can click to a whole new scene or genre as soon as their arousal ebbs and thereby, says Wilson, "condition their arousal patterns to ongoing, ever changing novelty.

A heavy porn schedule and the resulting sustained high levels of dopamine reinforces these patterns. "The result in some Internet porn users is higher brain activation to internet porn, and less arousal to sex with a real person," Wilson argues. And then there's habituation: the need for more to get the same hit. "Extreme novelty, certain fetishes, shock and surprise and anxiety--all those elevate dopamine," he says. "So they need those to be sexually aroused."

 

Yeah makes sense. I’m still not unsure about the MO thing. The problem with it I think is the chaser effect. Like the floodgates that open up, but then again, if you can do it in a healthy and normal way, by all means. I’m just hoping my sex life will improve soon so I won’t have to MO. But I’m willing to try MO again without PMO. It’s been a long time. It might help take the edge off, if you are on a long streak. Like after 60 days hardmode, things get start to feel a little crazy.

 

Just remember, NO FANTASY......

 

Honestly, that’s gonna be tough. Another reason why I still haven’t MO’d in a year and a half. I either go on a long streak or end up PMO’ing at some point. Right now I’m at 30 days. I don’t do counters. Because even though I’m aware of my time. Sometimes it’s nice to forget about it and not keep such close score.

 

I personally have no interest in no orgasms. Since I don't have a sex partner, I am going to masturbate, but in moderation. It is porn that I want to kick out of my life.
Having said all that, I relapsed after 40 days recently. I don't think that masturbation lead to my porn relapse, so I have set a new goal to make it to 2018 PMO free. After that I give myself permission to re-introduce M & O.

 

Rubbish. You don’t have to masturbate. Reference the 100+ times this has been posted and debated.

 

I honestly don't think it's a problem . . . in moderation. The problem is--if you're here--you can't do it in moderation.

To me, this just sounds like an excuse to relapse. Trust me, think we've all been there, but you should just stay away from PMO full stop. Once you're as deep as some of us, the three go hand-in-hand. Even if you don't watch P will doing it, your mind will just fill in the blanks and give you the same dopamine hit.

 

I think the issue w/ MO is not that it can’t be done in moderation. It definitely can. I’ve done it. The problem is it could be a huge trigger that could lead to PMO. And then it wouldn’t be worth it. That’s the risk. On the other hand, sometimes going hardmode can be really excruciating and annoying. Having an orgasm could be great to take the edge off. That’s the predicament. However, if someone is a chronic masterbator, then MO would be off the table. For me, that’s not the issue.

 

Masturbation, when you see it objectively, is a nasty habit. You're self-stimulating because you have no control of yourself, or because you're bored, or stressed. It's a really low, animal thing to do. You can transcend to a higher state of being by not doing it and re-directing your mind to better pursuits.

 

MO without fantasy is working for me. I don’t let it get compulsive, not every day or every other day, I only allow it twice a week. My sexuality is in my genes, God-given, I don’t believe I’m supposed to live with NO sex in my life, we’re all sexual creatures, EVERY living thing, creatures and plants, are created to reproduce and for creatures that’s sex. Mammals have been observed to masturbate. Lol, and most mammals engage in same-sex encounters.... so those who say same-sex stuff is “against nature” are full of shit, in my opinion. I’ve done a ton of reading and research, and spoken to tons of older, wiser people. I’ve learned there is no such thing as “normal”, that’s a value judgement. I recently heard that “heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.” I love that.

I know this share hit 2 topics, but these are both hot-button issues for me. I’ve been judged, condemned, bullied all my life cuz I’m gay, and I refuse to put up with that anymore.

Peace, everybody......

 

I cant think of a way to MO without fantasizing tho

 

Lol, did you just MO today?