"Is it wrong to want to hit on girls?" by a confused addict

"I suggest Tinder" LOL

I'd try joining groups where people are trying to improve themselves. Fitness, books, etc.

 

It is a natural human tendency to play, and that involves play that includes our sexuality.

It is possible for it to take a wrong turn of course, it's one thing when both parties understand it's playful and another when it is used as manipulation on some level.

You mentioned motivation to research .., I'm going to rearrange that and suggest research ON motivation, in this case the motivation behind this behavior.

To me it's all about self understanding. Right and wrong without understanding is always going to run into a dead end, but if you understand yourself that problem naturally resolves itself.

 

I had thought of that too. I thought Tinder was for "hookups" though.

 

Part of people use it for not serious purposes, but I know sooo many who are in the relationships because of that app. "We met on Tinder" becomes a common answer nowadays. At least in Europe it is like that.

 

Youre not wrong in asking these questions. This is one of the benefits of NOFAP: to get you away from fake girls (porn) and to talk and discover women in the REAL world, in person. You are on the right path bro. Whether you put having "wild" nights ahead of your career is a totally different story and is essentially up to you. PEACE

 

Well, Vinum, you have an interesting odd brain

 

Flirting is good , when you are attached or married , you still need to flirt with your partner , life skill to learn you must.

 

Damn, I've never heard that.

 

It's a blessing and a curse.

 

It is true I have been rejected and hurt by a lot of women, and this has contributed to my poor opinion on them. However, I do believe most men are rejected and hurt the same, and that everyone is free to draw his own conclusions.

I can tell you with full confidence that thinking about women as being "just like you", or finding excuses for their poor behavior - will only hurt and make you lose things.

What I see about OP is that he has this rare, fragile chance of getting an education, of getting a PhD or making something with his life. Because he has this chance (and few people get the chance to have a PhD), he should be able to recognize the danger that is going to pubs and chasing girls.

Think this logically: most people, yet alone most women, do not have the ambition to get a good education. Interacting with them, not to say chasing or trying to impress them, or putting a lot of importance on their reactions to you - could greatly lower your motivation to study and work hard. It is a long subject to debate about, but do please think it for yourself.

Another (stupid) mistake that the OP makes is that he believes "developing his social skills" will help him with women. I made this mistake as well, when I was young and naive. I am creating a separate thread to demolish this myth. Regardless of your personal opinion, again please notice though that if one really believes social skills will get him girls, and it turns out that it does not, then he would have wasted a ton of time, energy, frustration and wasted opportunity in chasing an illusion.

 

It's true, some girls are just brutal, but from what I've seen, literally every girl that's like what you describe has issues, usually with her childhood. Every fucking one. Maybe they hurt guys because in their sub-conscious they believe that they don't deserve a good relationship. Might be why a lot of girls get with shitty guys, then turn around and say why can't I find a nice guy? Umm, because you don't find them attractive haha. Again, not all girls are like that, but a lot of them are. I get what you're saying though. He shouldn't get too distracted with girls while he's getting his Ph.D, which could definitely happen if the ladies start giving him a lot of attention haha. Still nothing wrong with occasionally going out and trying to meet a girl. Just don't let it interfere with your studies OP. Hope that degree actually gets you something man, truly I do. I see a lot of people who've went to college and they end up working in manufacturing, like I do right now. I didn't go to college, thank fuck, and I know several people who went to college and they're working at the same place that hires felons and they don't give a fuck about a piece of paper. Oh, you have a degree, cool, but how much can you lift on a regular basis? The so called American Dream is a lie, at least in my opinion. Go to college, rack up massive student loans, then work in the same places that everyone else is and have it even harder because you have loans to pay off plus everything else the average joe has, light bill, twizzlers, peeps, fidget spinners, etc. Hahahaha. I'm ranting now.