Just thinking about my fetishes as they're creeping into my mind is killing me

Whatever things you use to watch porn or whatever, get yhem away from you. Try and focus on something else wether its a photograph of your family or that dark spot on the wall, ANYTHING to get your mind off the urge. Its importwnt vecause in a split second were put in a trance that makes us relapse. Find a hobby like reading or somethig to help you get through. Im stil fighting like hell with the same problem as well as surfing google images, thats my demise... well get through this

 

I hear you my friend!

In my experience, the images fade a bit with time and distance. They do not wholly vanish, however. For this reason, I have found it important to not only refrain from visiting certain sites (which you are doing - good job), but to also develop my confidence that no matter how many images return, they are only images - they do not control me and I do not have to act on them.

Stay with it. Keep writing. Keep reading. And best of luck.

 

Fetishes aren't real. They are remote fixations apart or removed from the self. They are captivating, crucifying, debilitating, and consuming. But, like a light bulb, they can't really fire or turn-on (no pun intended) independently. You have power, you control the energy, you are the master of the switch.

Fetishes are satellites, endlessly circling in orbit. They aren't real, they are removed from you- replacing something with something else, like basic algebra. You are in control, telling yourself you aren't is enablist and allows your fetishism to continue. They will persist as long as you let them. You weren't born into whatever foul, weird, perverted stuff you're into- it is an acquired taste. Unacquire it, thats why you're here.

You may feel thrill or excitement looking or searching them out, but think about how violated and raped you feel afterward. Is it worth it? I'll answer that for you, because you already know. No, it's never worth it. It's a false reality.

 

Don't worry mate. We will all figure how to fix this eventually.

 

I hear you on that. I'm just going about my business doing normal holiday stuff with company then *BAM*, a little though related to my fetish spikes up. Sometimes I shut it down almost instantly, sometimes I let it roll around in my head for up to a minute before I manage to muster up the focus to spit it back out. God this is gonna be a pain

Still, this is how progress is made. Just like how muscles get sore after exercise, leaning on the natural neuro-plastic functions of the brain will take time. And in this case, because we're trying to rewire our reward system, no small amount of mental agony from having to tell our petulant child of a reward system it no longer gets to have the driver's seat whenever it wants. For the past couple of days, I've definitely been thrashing about in a sort of mental agony, especially when I try and go to sleep at night. Oh well. My opinion on this is this is just the way it's going to have to be. No way to wriggle out of the suffering, so just to my best to dive right in and let it pass until I've calmed down. I'm not saying surrender to it, but just, you know, acknowledge that the impulses are there and the accompanying discomfort that rides with them will continue for a while.

Good luck, and stay strong.

 

Hey buddy, I'm just going for the same thing as you are, just letting you know that I speak about that in my journal too.
This is so hard, I've spent this passed two days in a battle with this thoughts and having kind of depression, headache and lost in the non-reality of those thoughts. They are powerful, so damn powerful, but I hope that eventually I'll learn to let them come and let them go, not paying attention to them without effort and making the monster smaller and smaller with time.
Keep fighting mate, this is hard as hell, I know that, but weeks or months after we'll look back and we'll be happy with our progress!

 

The only real solution to this is to go for so long without exposure to the fetish or reinforcement of it (ie you relapsing to it) that your brain physically rewires to stop craving it. It can be made easier by picking up new, healthier habits that give a similar dopamine reward, but I wont lie to you, even if you do as much as possible, it takes a long time and the old thoughts can still creep in.

In my case I still have

Spoiler

wet dreams where I'm either having gay sex or sex with transwomen

at least once or twice a month and while I know its just my brain purging these thoughts, its still disturbing and sets me back when I have them.

Keep yourself as busy as possible during the day and take time for meditation and reflection on an evening, as long as you arent stewing over these thoughts and feelings you will be OK, its tough and takes a long time but you will be OK.

 

@robocop1988 You're only five days in, bro. It'll go away. One meditation trick is to just let the thoughts come, don't fight them or suppress them (they'll come back), and welcome them without emotion and then let them leave. Over time, the thoughts return less and less. After 30 days, the thoughts came down to two or three a day. Now they're down to two or three a week

 

when I stopped smoking I developed a counter habit something else to do when I felt the urge.
also learn to suffer learn that it boredom, loneliness, defeat, and just being stupid are part of life to be endured rather than excuses for fapping which is a form of slow death