New to this

Welcome. Thank you for the frank share, which is really not so long and to the point - very essential. If you don't mind me asking, are you in therapy? Maybe there are some with a similar background with more time rebooting who will chime in, but I wonder if quitting PMO would not be just kind of an adjunct to deeper work...

 

Ok, I wonder if they gave you good directions on what doing the rest means or should involve..

 

Welcome, stopping PMO will be the best decision you can ever make. I promise it will make your life better. Here is a link to my journal with the plan I used to overcome porn and other addictions. I believe that it is a good starting point and my plan will give you some ideas for developing your own plan.

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/no-cross-dressing-re-boot-journal.87827/

 

Welcome @CanineOrc . You have been both very brave and honest and its well appreciated. this is a great site to get support and reflections from other users.

 

Hi @CanineOrc
Glad you are here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.
I've been involved in femdom-porn myself. It's truly possible to quit it completely.

It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
You don't need to do it alone!

I wish you lots of luck!

 

welcome here and best luck to you. Quite a story you have behind you. I am a little taken that your therapist just let you go. I think there is a lot a therapist and good work can do. It jumps into my eyes directly the correlation between what you experienced and what you now desire. I think this is very common. I heard that girls think this is what they like because they seek to connect to what they experienced so they can heal it. But underlying is a trauma. I had to resolve traumas in my life and know how what I liked and how I looked at the world changed after I could heal the traumas. I wish you the very best here

 

Welcome to NoFap!

 

This sounds like you did not have the right therapist or the right match. He should never be frustrated. Maybe he caused that you did not open. Don’t give up seeking. Find people whom you trust and opening up will truly help freeing you. Best luck.
I for example had lost my father at a early stage in my life and was very alone. I then did not feel pain because I arranged my life so I did not have to. I had a therapist because of other symptoms. It took time until we got to the points. Some things need to mature. My life changed after that.
I had a girlfriend who always blocked me when I was tender instead of rough. She always wanted me to be rough. But I did not want this always. So there was a block and continued hitting this point it became clear that she had a abuse situation in her childhood too. So this prevented from having a nice encounter. After this cleared we did.

 

I can imagine also a lot of femdom and Bdsm desire comes with hidden revenge feelings underneath. Maybe there is therapeutic value. Not sure.

 

I never thought I would like this. But in edging what I developed I went under a lot of bars I would never think I would go underneath. I did watch in my end phase and could see how aggressive or abusive the girls often are and how much they enjoy the guy being humiliated. I thought it makes sense that she acts out what hate and frustration she has.

 

So you keep the caring aspect up. That’s nice. Doormat I am sorry to hear. It looks like many men are into this. And I am surprised how many girls respond to it

 

Start working on your insecurity and low self-esteem.
That's the source for most problems in our lifes.
Maybe there is a huge pain behind that wall you described, but you will see as you go along this process.

An onion has a kernel too. To reach that kernel all the layers has to be pulled of first.
With hour heart it's quiet the same.

 

Fascinating read. Welcome.