Don't live as a victim

We always have those moments when we start blame and complain about our circumstances and people around us for our problems as if we are completely innocent, You are not going to like it but you are the responsible of everything happening in your life,

Specially in our nofap journey we are fully and completely responsible and when we relapse we ourselves are the main reason why we relapsed not because of a specific girl you saw or the society you live with but because of the condition of your mental state,

When you blame your circumstances you will start live your life as a victim of those circumstances and because of the habit of complaining and blame others you will go in the wrong direction and you will begin to live your life as a victim and you will meet people who have the same mentality who will not help you grow at all and you will end up with diseases and miserable life.

Examples:

- The whole world against me
- All girls are bitches
- All men are stupid
- I am still virgin because of my stupid society/family/girls/men
- The economy is bad
- Money is Evil
- I keep relapse because bitches are everywhere
- I live in a society full of sins
- Our world is a slavery
- Girls/men don't understand me
- Relationship suck

if we feel that way we have unmet needs we need our pain to be felt seen heard validated and acknowledged we feel alone with our pain the other thing we need to feel good about ourselves as if there is nothing wrong with us like we have value,

1. We have to love and validate the thing we complain about ask yourself what really hurts me about this ? for example say I had a complaint that all relationships is stupid I would ask myself what about this hurts me so bad ? I might find that I had bad experiences with relationships then I would ask the question again what about this really hurts me ? I may find the answer is they didn't care about me so I must be worth nothing to them, keep going with this question as far as you can to go keep digging until you find the core of the real pain which is I feel worthless.

2. Behind the complain we have the feeling that we are completely helpless It's a state of disempowerment when we complain it is actually because we can't do anything to improve the way we are. We need to ask ourselves what do we really want, and feel inspired toward it this will create a feeling of empowerment you are no longer stuck in the unwanted, you can use the unwanted to point you to the direction of what you wanted.

3. When we are in that state our ego is the speaker not our being our ego wants to run the show by desperately feeling good about itself by being right and justified by making others wrong bad inferior and faulty so first we have to admit that we feel really bad about ourselves and work on improving our self-esteem.

 

Failure is not the opposite of success it is part of success. now you know your weakness and can work on it your mind now is so different than your mind before your 140 days streak it has changed, think about your relapses as walls you have to break them to continue on your path and those walls are getting bigger and bigger every time you make a progress, so relapses are necessary to level up.