I'm convinced that PMO turns you into a cuck

I've felt this way for awhile now, ever since I realized that I had porn induced ED and found that I got more turned on by watching other people have sex. After that, I tried watching cuckold porn and really enjoyed it, but I don't watch it very often and try to avoid it more than anything because I think it could make this problem worse. I actually found a Reddit post from a guy who's basically the same age as me and has the exact same problem with porn induced ED and it led him to do the same thing that I was thinking of doing if dating with this problem and manage to get a girlfriend, let her have sex with another guy while I watch and fap to it. Here's his post, its kinda long:

"About six months ago I started dating my current girlfriend, I'm 25 and she is the first proper girlfriend I've ever had. I'm a pretty average guy, average job, average looks etc. she on the other hand is verging on being the perfect human being, she does charity work, has modelled, is doing well at uni, has published some of her writing etc. I feel so lucky to have her in my life... but I can't please her.

I always get soft when we're having or trying to have sex, in the first four months of our relationship we had sex twice, and because I was frantically trying not to lose my erection I didn't last long enough to make her orgasm. I'm pretty sure my erectile dysfunction is porn related (see r/nofap for more details). I watch porn a lot and can get an erection from it. Everytime I watch porn though, I imagine the female actress is my girlfriend and shes having sex with some random guy while im watching. I know it's messed up but it's a massive turn on for me and it's all I can think about when I thiink about sex.

As the frustration grew over our increasingly dissapointing sex life, so did my fantasy of watching her have sex with another guy. I made the link and told her I wanted to see her sexually satisfied even if it was by another man. She basically said she would not go out and cheat on me or arrange anything, but if I were to sort it all out with the right guy, then she wouldn't say no.

After about 2 weeks of looking I was contacted by a guy who I knew would be her type, I met up with him on my own to make sure he seemed normal enough, and I showed his pictures to my gf, everything checked out. So.. one night he came round, me him and my girlfriend played some drinking games to break the ice and take offf the edge.

When they actually started getting together it was different to how I thought. I thought it would just kind of be a quickie and then he would shoot out the door. In reality they were being slow and sensual, I can't describe how I felt then, incredibly jealous, but at the same time, I'd never had an erection like that before, I was so horny for her, for pretty much the first time ever. I loved seeing how this guy was so turned on by her.

The first time I saw my girlfriend orgasm by sex was with this guy. It hurt me, but I loved it at the same time and I loved seeing her satisfied. I couldn't hold out any longer and ended up joining in and having the longest, best sex of my life as well as making my girlfriend orgasm. It was too good to be true. The guy ended up staying over and we shared her until the early hours of the morning and more in the morning after sleep!

Over the next week or two, sex between us was amazing, no big problems with my erections. But before long I realised the only way I was able to have good sex was when I was imagining her with the other guy. I needed to see it again, and she didn't say no. This was about 2 months ago, since then she has had sex with the other guy about 10 times, and we've even filmed it on two occasions. My girlfriend is happy that it's curing my erectile dysfunction but thinks it's probably not healthy for us in the long run. However we are both so caught up in it that we're meeting with another guy who she has been chatting to online tonight.."

This has basically made me afraid to try and date anyone because I feel like this will end up happening and it will eventually ruin a relationship, notice in his post that his girlfriend didn't want to arrange anything to find a guy to do this with, but she's moved on to finding guys on her own to have sex with since she's having a new guy she's been chatting with come by to have sex with her. That probably shows their sex life is shaping up to where she has other guys to satisfy her physical needs while her boyfriend faps to it and satisfies her emotional needs and the two of them never really have sex. I don't want that type of relationship, I really need to cure this porn induced ED!!

 

Yeah but that’s only gonna get me so far since we’re just using toys instead of having sex, I don’t even know how long it’ll take for this ED to be cured. It seems that this post was too long, so I’m shortening it and posting it under the dating during a reboot section.

 

Yeah it definitely does since porn makes you so used to being a spectator and never an active participant. It gets to where once you go to bed with a girl, you still can't get it up or keep it up to bring her to orgasm even though she's naked right in front of you and wants you bad. Because you're so used to watching sex and not actually having it yourself, porn makes your brain think that real sex is something foreign and un-natural and that porn is the real and natural sexual activity. Its even worse when you have very little experience with sex, because then its something totally new to you and you won't be used to using another person's body to get yourself off instead of using a screen and your hand, which you've been doing for years before your first time. That's when the cuckold idea would come into a PMO addict's mind (especially if he's watch cuckold porn before) and then approaches his gf with the idea of having her fuck another guy while he sits in the corner and faps since he's so used to watching instead of participating. And as you said too, low self esteem can also lead to this because you think you won't be able to satisfy her, so she should just be able to sleep with another guy to try and fix that. But that doesn't fix anything, it just creates more problems. But as long as we remain strong and get a long streak away from PMO, this will be fixed and we will never stoop so low as to let that happen to us!

 

Yeah you are correct I don't currently have a gf and have never had one, but I'm worried that this porn induced ED issue will persist if I get one and we go to sleep together. Then I get so desperate to satisfy her that I just tell her to fuck another guy and let me watch, then it would probably just be a downward spiral from there. I need to fix this before I start dating because right now I'm way more turned on by watching other people have sex than I am by being an active participant, It was very difficult for me to keep it up when I was with a real girl and it became even worse when I put a condom on, I couldn't even finish no matter what she did. But you're right, its not just about sex I'm not used to dating at all though since I've only been on 1 date in my whole life and I'm 24. I'm expecting culture shock once I enter the dating world, even that one date was a very unfamiliar and foreign experience to me. That was the first time in my life I've ever spent time 1 on 1 with a girl outside of work or school, and it'll take some getting used to going out 1 on 1 with a girl and making sure it differs from a platonic hang out. That's one problem a lot of guys with less experience have, they're so used to just hanging out with friends and not going out on dates that they accidentally treat a date with a girl like an outing with a friend and get themselves friendzoned. And you're right, porn changes a viewer's sexual desires and makes them crave sex acts that they never used to be into. But then they lose interest in doing those things once they stop watching porn, so it shows that those desires were 100% created by porn and that's pretty scary that it can warp your mind to where that can happen.

 

Thanks man and I agree, that's way easier said than done but it needs to happen. I had a 1 month streak last summer and the difference was night and day, I was more confident and couldn't stop thinking about sex with this girl who I was interested in at the time. Cravings for real sex definitely come back and shift away from PMO the longer your streak is.

 

Yeah it definitely has, I mean what kind of guy actually goes out looking for another guy to fuck his girlfriend (over 10 times) and then meets up with him to discuss it, then proceeds to have him over to do that?! You can already see the negative effect it was having on their sex life because it was starting to center around her having sex with someone else while he watches, so much to the point where she started to arrange other guys to come over and do that on her own when she initially said she wouldn't do that and leave it up to him to arrange it. I can't let myself end up in the same position as him. This is why I've been saying for years now that every porn DVD case and streamed porn video should be required to have a warning label similar to the ones on packs of cigarettes or bottles of alcohol printed on the DVD case or shown before the streamed video starts since it also has an addictive potential and can also be harmful to your health.