Does P or M cause PIED?

Both. Do a hardmode reboot.

yourbrainonporn.com or rebootnation.org to find out more about it.

 

You can’t speed up your recovery. It took you a long time to develop this it won’t take you a short time to get out of it. I recommend a 90 day hard reboot cut out both P and M and you may need to do it longer than that. It is usually for most men a combination of both P and M. The reason a hard reboot is recommended is that even if the M is not the direct cause addicts associate M too much with P, so any attempt at M, will lead them to relapse on P. You really have to change both behaviors. Many also have death grip (gripping in strength and pace not likely to be replicated by sex), so that compounds things and means you have to change both even more so.

 

Some people can some cannot. The whole point of NoFap for most is to have a normal sex life with another person so imo you can have sex with her with three stipulations. 1.You are honest with her about your addiction and reboot. This allows her to help you should you have issues with ED or DE. It also makes you less nervous. 2. You use her as your sole source of orgasm. You do not use your hand at all, alone or with her. If you have sex and can’t reach O you satisfy her and try again another day. 3. If having sex at anytime makes you feel more prone to relapse then you don’t have it.

Many addicts in recovery find the need to cut out all sexual activity because it’s too closely associated with pmo and they will relapse. Others get very upset if they can’t perform in bed and or if they are not processing as quickly enough. This causes them to turn to pmo to cope.

I think the biggest factor here is having a partner who you have been honest with and who is willing to be understanding and help you. Otherwise if you can’t do that I would recommend you consider ending the relationship. Having a non supportive partner will impede your recovery. And she can’t be supportive of you don’t tell her.

 

That's fine unless the 90 days isn't enough time. Some reboots can take 3, 6, 9, or even 12 months or more.

 

I don’t see a problem with that just tell her about the reboot and addiction and hopefully she will be willing to go the 90 days without sex. But as stated below often it takes a lot longer than 90 days to fix.

 

I'd be worried telling a gf I'm addicted to porn. She might freak out and end things.

 

So what do you plan to tell her is the reason for no sex for 90 days do you plan to lie? I totally understand your fear. I also know that you think you will cure this in 90 days and she will never find out. It’s unlikely you will cure it and she will find out. It may be 6 months from now but women always do and when she does you will be a liar in her eyes. Lies are worse than pmo ! So I guess do you want to find out now if she’s accepting of you as you are now and if not end things or do you want to find out 6 months from now that she would never date a pmo addict or maybe that she would have if you had been honest.

Read through these forums. This is not a 90 day and it’s done thing. Would you want to know if she had a coke addiction and was in rehab? It’s no different.

 

Lying is the worst thing you can do overall. Remember PIED is self inflicted. There are repercussions.

 

We keep telling people this but far too often it falls on deaf ears. Lying may be the easy choice in the short term but it’s the worst choice in the long run. Feel your pain now by telling the truth or 100 times more later if you lie.

 

I’m not in a relationship but lying never solves any problem. That goes for more than just porn.

 

Both contribute and should be stopped. Would abstain from having any sex that involves your dick. Otherwise go for it. 90 days is the typical reboot time so after 90 you can try your man-stick out.

 

I guess that depends how strict you want to be regarding no PMO, and what you're trying to accomplish

I would suggest to decide on a goal. Then set some strict rules that you think will get you there.

For me, the goal is to be cured of my PIED.

My rules are simple:

I will not look at porn for the rest of my life. Period.
I will not masturbate, as I want to be cured. Period.
I will not O until I am able to O inside my wife. Period.

If I were to do any of those three, even for one second, I would reset my counter and start over at zero. (But that's not going to happen.)

If you just want to stop looking at porn, then just do that. If you want to stop masturbating, then just do that.

If you want to be cured of PIED, then you might need to take a long break (3, 6, 9, even 12 months or longer?) from P, M, and O.

Best of luck to you.

 

I am new here, but I believe that having sex with your girlfriend is good, if you could find one in the 90 days, you should not reject her. Because the vagina is by far not as brutal as the death grip of the hand. Just don´t masturbate during sex or let her jerk you. Then you get rewired to a real women, which makes it easier to get away from porn and masturbation.

 

Great post, great rules

 

OP did you edge lots?

 

What do u mean by edge?