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SANITATEM - For SOs

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Broken81, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. Broken81

    Broken81 Fapstronaut

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    I need to make some changes in 2018 to help myself heal. My health wasn't the best but since DDay I have felt a steady decline, partly because I have neglected myself. I am going to list the things I am going to strive towards doing every day. Feel free to list what you are doing to help yourself heal, or anything that may help others.
    I will:
    - start taking my probiotics/omega3/magnesium AND prescribed meds DAILY.
    - walk an absolute minimum of 15k steps per day (25 used to be my norm).
    - Start working out again. I will swim until school holidays are over.
    - I will use the meditation app thingy on my fitbit and make time for me.
    - I need to join a club of some sort as I need to meet new people.
    - Take time to paint everyday, it was a new hobby before Dday that I haven't developed.
    - Cut down my caffeine intake to 2 cups a day.
    - Eat my 7 a day (5 veg + 2 fruit).
    - ween myself off the sleeping tablets. we don't need another addict in the house!
    I think a few of the above will help get my mood back on an even keel and maybe lift some of this fog that is blanketing me. Hopefully I can also go back to eating Gluten free in the next 2 months which should alleviate the headaches, joint pain, lethargy and insomnia. My 'panic attacks' (feeling breathless and thudding heart) seem to have lessened a lot, as have the shaking hands and dizzy spells. I still get them but nowhere near as frequently (theses were all things I had never experienced before and were directly related to the discoveries of PA).
     
  2. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Over time, I'd like to hear how this goes .. what clubs you found / how meeting new people is going / etc.
     
    Deleted Account and Broken81 like this.
  3. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Sorry, I'm a PA, I know this thread is for SOs ...

    For barbarians like me, I Googled 'sanitatem' and it means 'healthy body and healthy mind' or something like that. I'll have to add 'learn latin' to my list ;-)
     
  4. Broken81

    Broken81 Fapstronaut

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    I don't know much Latin, I have just remembered a number of random words from a job I used to do in the military. One of my favourites was 'crapula' which is the after effects of excessive wine drinking (I'm great at remembering random stuff like this yet cannot remember my shopping list). I always wondered if in fact it was this word, not Thomas Crapper that was the origin of 'crap' in use today.
     
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  5. Broken81

    Broken81 Fapstronaut

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    Sure thing! I'd only lived in this new town a couple of months before the P-bomb went off. I'm normally a very social person but I've met barely anyone and I've actively been avoiding people since D day. It's been rough and it's time to change things and stop being lonely!
     
  6. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    "avoiding people" is something my SO has done a lot of recently too, especially friends--close friends or casual friends ..... I'm guessing that is a common reaction -- not wanting to deal with the marriage-in-crisis with friends.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2018
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  7. TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

    I do this. It is because when I'm with them it just feels fake. I'm not happy, and I can't fake it, so when they notice I'm upset, I don't want to have to explain to them what is wrong because of fear of being judged or told "it's just porn" or whatever. I even fear losing friends over it because they wouldn't understand and it would be an issue between us then. So I just don't see them, especially when I'm feeling down. My friend would notice, and then I'd have to explain stuff, which I don't want to do.
     
  8. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

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    I very much had an avoidance issue for a long time. Not avoiding the issue (that was impossible I couldn’t not feel or think about it) but avoiding having to not be in a further position to hide the negative thoughts and feelings from people in general.
    At first it was my feelings shame I felt about his behaviors and my hurt then it shifted to until I was in a better place in my head to be in public or around friends in social settings. That was a hard place to be in and glad that has passed finally. I had joined sewing classes at a local community college to help with it and it did. I could get out and learn something for me, meet new people and also put my head down and work without talking and focusing on something to get my mind off of everything for the few hours while I was in class.
     
  9. I started some of this in 2017 but got off track so..

    - Get to Gym 5+ days
    - Train for 5k (I’m not a runner and have never done one)
    - Learn new skills in excel since I already love it
    - Get Low carb/gluten free (so hard)
    - Successfully complete a Fast
    - Daily devotions/prayer time
     
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  10. Broken81

    Broken81 Fapstronaut

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    I find Low carb hard (but not impossible) as I'm a vegetarian. I naturally cut out a lot of high carb food when I go GF though as I tend not to eat the processed replacements for gluten items (like bread and pasta). However I love rice and potatoes :)
     
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  11. I have Hashimotos and I’ve found that the only way I can lose/maintain a healthy weight is by doing that. Gluten is one of the triggers for flare ups supposedly and from experimenting with GF I believe it to be correct. My energy levels are also so much better when I go low carb/GF :) I can imagine GF and vegetarian would be a challenge for sure!
     
  12. Broken81

    Broken81 Fapstronaut

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    I have Hashimotos too. I find when I'm GF it helps to alleviate my symptoms tenfold. However for me my Gluten intolerance is not always an immediate response, it takes a few months for me to feel better. Unfortunately Autoimmune diseases go hand in hand and I've been told I'm Ceoliac too but I'm still early stages. For the testing you have to be eating Gluten which means I've eaten it for about 5 months. The first biopsy I had was damage but not enough. The second biopsy was more damage but still not enough for official Dx. I have a feeling as it was about 6 weeks post D day I had not consumed enough Gluten. If my next biopsy comes back 'inconclusive' again I will go Gluten free but will need annual testing. I asked my specialist what the point of a formal Dx is if I'm Gluten free anyway, but without diagnosis you don't get the frequent testing you need for osteo/bowel cancer and family screening etc. I am convinced it's all the Gluten which has made me so hypo (thyroid) lately. Completely agree that it is a trigger for a lot of Autoimmune sufferers.
    Ps I find GF veggie pretty easy, it's when I try to eat low carb on top of that it's hard. Actually almost impossible to eat out!
     
  13. - Continue being Gluten-free & healthy eating
    - Continue mindfulness/meditation 2-3 times a day (incl some yoga, some meditation, some vibrational breath work)
    - Drink more water.
    - Limit time spent on my recovery work (so it doesn't consume too much of my day and get back to living my life)
    - Limit social media
    - Do more training with my 16 month old dog (goal = volunteer therapy work for him, a previous dog I had was certified for therapy work - I'd like to do library programs and also visit veterans at our local VA hospital)
    - Yoga class
    - Art class
    - More exploring museums and parks (parks when the weather gets warmer b/c the cold really affects my body - Fibromyalgia)
    - Begin some community volunteer work after our home is completed (and the final move is complete)

    I think it would be good for me to get back into some classes of things I enjoy which wouldn't involve a lot of chatting, but perhaps I can meet some "like-minded" women --- I moved shortly after my husband confessed and my previous social circle is in another state. I've been isolating myself too much.
     
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