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Possible explanation of PMO and nofap in Mathematics/Graph Theory

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by tomsawyer99, Dec 10, 2013.

  1. tomsawyer99

    tomsawyer99 New Fapstronaut

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    Disclaimer: None of what I have typed below is based on any scientific research. I have only connected the dots between graph theory and PMO, influenced by the fact that graph theory has in recent times been explaining a lot of phenomena in fields ranging from biology, technology, sociology, economics, etc.

    Hi all,

    I am like many of you here, struggling with fighting a PMO habit I've had since some 15 years (am in my early 30s). While I was doing fairly well professionally until I was about 28, things started to go speedily downhill only since the last 2-3 years. The trigger? Exactly 3 years ago, I got access to both high-speed Internet and my own apartment for the first time in life. There was nobody to stop me from fulltime PMO now. As many of you have read about it, YBP explains the perils of old-fashioned hard-drive P versus streaming P too well.

    Before 3 years ago, even though I did not know about YBP and nofap, getting over the guilt of PMO was as simple as deleting all my P stash at once and then going clean easily for many days. After getting high-speed Internet, I no longer had to deal with the guilt of having a P stash. It was always there at the click of a mouse. Before I knew it, I was hooked on to it more badly than I was to hard drive P.

    Now that I look back, certain things in my life started to change around the same time:

    1. Exactly since 2-3 years ago, I more or less decreased my hanging out with friends. I am no longer invited to catch up with people in my close circle, nor do I make any effort. Earlier, it used to be quite common that I introduced friends from my college to my co-workers, or my childhood friends to my musician friends, and they used to become friends with each other. Now, I am more or less alienated from everyone.

    2. My professional network has more or less died in the last 2-3 years. There's practically nobody I can go to today to help me get a job. One by one, I have dropped the ball on almost everyone. After reaching a rather key position in my company, I am now resting on my past laurels and have become an obstructionist rather than enabler of opportunities. I can feel hostility around me at work and have been told by my boss to get it together or leave in another 6 months.

    3. Since about an year ago, I have started developing these strange mild headaches and eye-burning sensation after a binge of extreme-edging PMO sessions. It takes a couple of days and plenty of self-loathing before I recover from this state of zombiedom. Until then, I can't even concentrate on reading an article. My voice remains thin and feeble and in most situations I don't feel like I'm even there.

    4. I have learnt nothing new in the last 2-3 years nor developed any new skill. I have caught 10 kgs of weight though and sport a paunch.

    I can go on and on about how PMO is ruining me!

    Today, however, I had a big insight while reading a book about graph theory in maths. The book is called "Linked: The New Science Of Networks" and is available in Kindle format on Amazon. To those who dig/understand maths, the following hypothesis might make sense, and I would like to read their reactions to my theory.

    We are all nodes inside a vibrant "graph of life" that spans our personal/social, professional, habitual and genetic connections. The stronger these connections, the higher the chance at success and happiness we have in life. The stronger our social connections, the more the fulfilling friendships we forge. The stronger our professional connections, the better our career mobility. The more the skills and hobbies that we are good at, the more the justice we do to being human and the more the sturdiness it adds to our existence in society.

    PMO weakens these connections, one by one. Each time we drop the ball on a friend by being emotionally aloof, we break a link in our social graph. Each time we falter on a professional commitment or opportunity, we break multiple links between us and our professional graph. Each year we waste learning nothing new, we watch helplessly as others strengthen their connections to more skills and personality enhancements and leave us behind.

    As anyone who has studied graph theory well would know, such networks are pretty robust and don't break easily. But when attacked on a sustained basis, they follow a "power curve" before complete breakdown happens. That is, for the first 80% of the time as you go downhill with your PMO addiction, you weaken only 20% of your links in the graph until you reach a critical point of inflexion. After this inflexion point, in the final 20% of the time before complete breakdown of life, you lose the remaining 80% of your links to the graph at once. The chilling part of this is that before reaching the inflexion point, you don't even realise the trap you are falling into because the loss of 20% of the links is comparatively imperceptible and gives you the illusion of everything being normal!

    Also, you lose some of your strongest links in the final 20%. For example if you're married, your wife will put up with your addiction more than anyone else and until the end. But if you don't mend your ways, hers could be the one extremely strong link that will break (complete emotional disconnection, if not separation), leaving you damagingly alienated in the graph at once.
    Sooner or later, we become a rather lonely node in the graph and therefore, irrelevant in our social and professional circles. We find that too many people have given up on us, if not forgotten about us altogether already.

    A similar graph phenomenon must be at work in my mental health too. For the longest time, I didn't see any perceptible health problems due to my PMO addiction, nor did I even imagine that PMO can be harmful. But the headaches and eye-burning that I have been having since a year must be me nearing an inflexion point of some sort, where some of the very vital links in my health graph must be beginning to break due to the overwhelming and sustained pressure I am putting on my body's reward system. If I don't stop now, I might end up with some permanent biological damage due to a vital link breaking off. As I understand, even YBP doesn't conclusively say if there are any permanent ill-effects of relentless PMO, this being unchartered territory in medical research. But what we should know is that indeed there are permanent health damages, often fatal, due to other addictions - excessive eating, smoking, drinking.

    nofap then is the process of forming these broken links again and increasing our connectivity to the graph of life so that we can once more be relevant to the world.

    I must repeat my disclaimer here: None of what I have typed above is based on any scientific research. I have only connected the dots between graph theory and PMO, influenced by the fact that graph theory has been in recent times explaining a lot of phenomena in fields ranging from biology, technology, sociology, economics, etc.

    I had this insight after reading a lot of books about graphs and networks in the past few days due to something I was working on professionally. It might be scientifically bunkum in the end, but it does give me a framework to motivate myself in the nofap journey.

    Those more interested in graph theory can read this book - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004SHO570/

    To those mathematically inclined on this subreddit, I would love to know your thoughts and criticisms to the hypothesis here.
     
  2. You_Can_Do_lt

    You_Can_Do_lt Fapstronaut

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    This is really, really brilliant stuff. I know it's brilliant, because you just explained the past 3 years of my life in a single page. This is exactly what has happened to me. The power curve theory of it all is really the icing on the cake of this theory.

    Recognizing how damaging the effects of PMO are is a great way for me to stay focused on why I'm here. I can't let this continue. I won't let this continue.

    Again, brilliant. And thank you.
     
  3. Discipline

    Discipline Fapstronaut

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    I think it is a great read. Very well written stuff!
     
  4. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Fantastic post! Extremely relevant and thought provoking. Great seeing people thinking outside the box.

    Just a quick point though. Do people REALLY care if its 'scientifically' proven? Since when did intelligence and creativity need 'sanctioning' by somebody in a white coat doing 'safe' enough 'research' to ensure the funding stream isn't cut? What about good old fashioned intuition?

    And I know there are incredible scientists like Bruce lipton, Greg Braden etc who follow their intuition above potential funding streams who do amazing work and I am not criticizing anything AT ALL about your post. But on the point I raise the following story springs to mind.

    During an Aikido lesson many years ago I remember the teacher demonstrating something called unbendable arm which consists of projecting thought/energy through the arm rendering it 'unbendable' when somebody slowly tried to bend it. This had NOTHING to do with competition or the usual 'get me look how tough I am' nonsense that all too often passes as 'strength' but was simply a demonstration of a different kind of 'strength' On this particular occassion it was being shown for the first time to a physics teacher at a local secondary school. And it was working. He wasnt using any physical strength whatsoever and yet nobody could bend his arm. He had never experienced anything quite like it before- and he was amazed! But after a short while he started to get agitated and a 'troubled' look betrayed his inner dilemma. "Is there any instrument that can measure and verify this so it can be scientifically proven to work" he somewhat nervously enquired. "Can you feel it", asked the teacher, "yes I can", came the reply, "then do you not already have all the proof you need?"

    We never saw him again(?!?!?):confused:
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2013

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