I am a beginner.

Hi everyone.
I am 17 years old.
I had heard the name "nofap" years before I actually knew about it. That was a day of July, last year, I masturbated and feel depressed. Then I just googled it like I had nothing to do just google some stupid things (sometimes I googled about wars, world history or information about countries and cities around the world). And at that day, I found nofap and I knew that many worldwide citizens were suffering from pornography and there was a large community of people who decided to take action, to group members from various regions and religions and bring them to a wonderful life. Since i know about this community, this movement, I have tried several times but eventually I failed. The longest streak of mine was 42 days lasting from 12 Sept to 24 Oct last year. Now I'm serious about this, and this time, at this day (update 13 Jan 2018), I have finished 21 days of nofap. Thank you our community for your supporting me, at present and in the future.

 

Maybe an ordinary story to share with all of you my fellows. I was introduced about porn when I was only 9, however just light sex stuffs. At 10 things became out of control as one of my cousin from other town came to study at a high school in my city. He just stayed at my house and , during that time, showed me hardcore porn stuffs in 9 months but negatively affected my life so strongly that I was obsessed with pornography in the next 7 years. It's my routine that I PMO every 2 or 3 days or even twice a day since then. Although my life improved during that period of time such as I attended and got the prizes of several local academic contests or I also got to the only high school for the gifted students in my 600000-people province thanks to my family academic basis, I still felt so empty, I didn't have a single close friend, I always procratinated, my brain in class hour just kept out of concentration.

Everyone noticed my bad features, and I knew I was lucky because my life still hadn't stepped pass the far end of the cliff and dropped down to the hell. But deep in my heart, I always knew if I just kept my life like that, the collapsing day of mine would soon come, probably as soon as I get to the university, come to real life and get out of the covering and the moderate forcing from my parents.

I have tried several times to stop PMO and also tried to stop only masturbating since I was 12,13. However, it was really hard to get out of that. As a student, the pressure from schoolwork usually burdened myself and my eventual choice was always PMO. Before turning to 16, my longest streak was only 18 days, that time I had to stop PMO because I had a small surgery to remove the foreskin of my penis (didn't tell you, I have borne phimosis). That period was really a struggle, I still think of porn (just think, I tried my best not to go to porn web), and really painful haha every time my penis got erected when the scar was still pressed and knotted. After that occasion, in the next whole one year, although I swore that I would never PMO again, the routine of 2 3 5 3 2 3 5 3 2 days between each of my PMO just kept continuing.

Things were bad, until July 2017, I found and learnt seriously about "Nofap" (the reason I found it I have said in the beginning of this post). My mentor - the most precious thing I have found in my life up to now - was "***" youtube channel. The creator of that channel showed me every facet of Nofap and life improvement skills in general, I recommend you watch this channel, every single video. Gradually, I understood that my brain was curable and I started my nofap journey seriously. The longest streak of my life was 42 days, as I have told you, and you know what? The result was that in the day 41st, I passed the stressful exam to get to the regional team to attend the national exam for gifted students of English. What was important was that only 6 most profound students from two grades (11 and 12) were chosen and that was the biggest event in my whole life.

Something so regretful is that I didn't kept going after that day. And during the time which I should have been honing for the nation exam for the gifted, my life collapsed again with PMO which resulted in daily staying of late to the small hours to play computer games, feeling tired all day long, procrastination and, definitely, dropping in practicing and learning results. Only until 23 Dec 2017, I found myself again, I promised with all my heart that I could do it, and started my nofap journey, to the present time. The results of my national test which was carried out two days before (11 and 12 Jan 2018) was really bad but I still regarded the previous period of time (two months of staying at home practicing for the test, not having to study the ordinary programmes of high shool) was worth-while. I have also learned a precious thing in life and I will show you:

Your life is like a line chart, it has dropping point and gaining point related to the event happening to you in every part of your life. However, do not pay a lot of attention about those events, focus all on your habits alone. Habits are things that change your life, not the results of those events. You should keep adding every single good habit to your life, focus on it, just it, add the habit gradually. In my case, I set a list of about 15 good habits, after focusing and building the first most crucial habit (my case: nofap) in 21 days, I add another habit, focus for the next 21 days for my mental adaptation, and continue until the final one. Follow my ways, you will see those dropping and gaining points are all bullshit, those are just fluctation. What matters is adding good habits gradually will definitely improve your life, and if you zoom out the chart to the scale of 5 years, you will see a drastic increase in the successful point of your life.

What is good habits? You can watch the very first videos of "***" Youtube channel (there are now 91 videos so you can scroll down in "Video" sector in that channel and easily find the first ones. However those videos are just recommendation, of course you have your own goals and good habits you can think of.

Now after 21 days of nofap, I can not guarantee that I feel great, but my relationships with people are much better, I'm more confident and above all, I feel that I can do everything I want with good habits.

I can write this long because I'm in days off after that important exam. This is really all I can share with you, the experience and what I have learned. Thank you for your reading to this point.