28 Year old, scared of what happens if I don't change...

Welcome scotth461, rest assured you have taken a step in the right direction. Years from now you will look back on this day and be grateful that you made this decision to change yourself, but having said know that the road ahead is tough. It is not going to be an easy journey but I am sure it will be one worth the effort. Welcome again and thanks for sharing

 

You can do it brother. I feel, fapping takes all my life energy and confidence away. It even makes me depressed.

 

Im with you bro, Im 24 and feel exactly the same way. If you notice the counter in my signature below, like others on here, theres a hyperlink to make your own counter. Its super easy to set up. Good luck man.

 

I too can commiserate with the feeling of not being "good" enough or "atractive" enough... although I can only really identify that by fapping daily(feeling like I have done so since the dawn of time) that I am coping my way through not trying actively to find meaningful relationships with real women in real life. The PMO cycle has basically stagnated any desire to find intimate relationships, which in turn makes me feel depressed about not having them in my life. I hope to use this site to overcome this "feedback loop"

Best of luck Scott, hope we can all support each other in this endeavor

 

Good luck Scott

 

I can relate to a lot of what you say. The anxiety, lack of mental clarity, lacking confidence, not feeling good enough. I don't know if PMO is responsible for this or whether its the other way round. Whatever, I decided that continuing to PMO is not the best way to deal with my problems. Other more positive behaviours need to take its place.

Wish you success

 

Funny how much I realte to you. Im 28 as well. Just turned. So far about 30 days in. And it has been incredibly hard.

But the single most effective thing that I have done to keep e from relapsing has been to use Open DNS. I leaned about it here.- http://yourbrainonporn.com/solo-tools

"2. Use openDNS. Don't bother blocking individual websites, it's useless. OpenDNS has a massive blacklist of porn sites and it has made it virtually impossible for me to find porn, even if I wanted to."

I gotta tell you man. I would have relapsed last week if I didn't have this. Open DNS has been invaluable in my success thus far. GET IT.

 

Also... I've read reports about voices getting deeper and people putting on more muscle after stop PMOing for a month or more. I thought they were just being overzealous... I was wrong. There definitely is a difference in my voice and the gains im making in the gym. it's not a steroid like effect, but it's noticeable, specifically on my arms - the weakest link in my physique. Up until last week I thought my gains were slowing after lifting for 1 and 1/2 years. My body some how has kicked into another gear..

Will report back in another 30 days.

 

Hey Scott,

Looks like my first comment is missing.

Originally, I wrote that your experience is strikingly similar to mine and that I too, am 28 years old (just turned).


Reading your post, I felt like I was reading my own words. It was cathartic in a way.

Yes, working out helps to pass the time, but for me, there was always that window, even after hitting the gym, where relapse was likely. Late at night with nothing to do.

I PMOed everytime. I mean everytime. It was as if I literally had no control. I began to think of myself as weak and pathetic that I couldn't control my own urges, like some 9 year old child.

Then I watched this The pleasure trap: Douglas Lisle at TEDxFremont and then read this porn-pseudoscience-and-δfosb (type it in google) and realized this thing - quite literally - is out my control.

Upon realizing this I installed Open DNS on my computer. Scott, it has been invaluable in my success thus far. I cannot find a single erotic site, even if I wanted to. Not one. It can even block peer networks to keep you from downloading scenes.

I would have relapsed last weekend had I not had this installed. Get It.