Does a social media "blackout" help the rebboting process?

Hi @BlueBalls!

I'm currently rebooting and went out of social media entirely (the only exception is an active LinkedIn account - which will be subject to evaluation).
Along with PMO-related articles, I've been reading many social media related scientific and opinion articles for some time and I'm really convinced that it is a huge waste of time!
I had a Whatsapp account with a lot of groups where people would eventually share triggering media.
If you want do dive deep in this social media issue I can provide you some reading material!

 

Disorganized thoughts are encouraged and influenced strongly by most social media, both while using them and having them available to distract/pull you away from other tasks you're doing. IMO, quitting can be a strong help to regaining focus, strongly reducing social anxiety, and finding yourself thinking stronger and deeper about what you want out of life with a lot of superficial junk getting in the way. I went cold turkey on facebook about 7 years ago and it's been of tremendous help.

That being said, understand that a lot of the social reward feedback systems you have built via these systems are strongly reinforcing(just like PMOs). If you decided to try and quite social media during a difficult, strenuous, or trying time during your reboot, you will be adding a strong additional layer of stress. So I'd caution you about that. If it feels like a serious problem that you want to quit but you're not sure that you can during the current stage of your reboot, consider setting aside a fixed amount of time in the morning and the evening for social media. If that doesn't work, you may need to try other options.

Best of luck!

 

Yeah I've been off SM for about a month, there are basically two parts to it: Addiction to media and addiction to social support.

Both can be used to support recovery of various kinds, NoFap is essentially that. Ultimately though, you want to be at a place where you won't relapse even in the absence of these supports. Some people in traditional addiction recovery would say the latter is impossible, I would say it's irrelevant because it is just the highest goal to shoot for. Of course, if you convince yourself it is impossible you will never try for it.

What would you do if everyone around you feels it's okay but you know it doesn't make sense? It doesn't change the fact that any particular addiction has the effect that it does. You can't describe clarity to people who have hardly experienced it, and when SM is such a lifestyle thing, so ubiquitous people won't have any frame of reference to a state of mind that is not constantly stimulated. The common argument "I don't have time, I have a busy lifestyle" misses the point because regardless of how much stuff someone has going on in their life, their state of mind can be either be one of constant stimulation or they can be at peace and still deal with things, most people probably can't see how that's possible and think that kind of peace of mind = being unproductive.

Edit: I can't say for me it's a blackout per se, I think I just finally got sick of it and it feels like I'm not looking back.

 

Hi @Ongoingsupport. Could you elaborate more on how to achieve such a peace of mind state?

 

Practically speaking meditation helps, but the context is important to understand. Different mental states are conducive to different activities, people think only in terms of different thoughts like motivational phrases, this is really not refined enough because you could be thinking one kind of thought and be in the wrong mental state - probably why people use an affirmation in the first place. The thing is time goes differently if you are in the right state for the activity, which is not always "time flies when having fun" but particular kinds of work goes better if you are in the right state for that work for example.

The thing with meditation is it involves the witnessing that underlies all states, you are not caught in any particular state but the place that underlies all of them. What things like social media (and of course a lot of other activities, substances etc) does is you become absorbed in a particular state and don't realize you are caught in that state, which may be good for some specific things but not all things. I've found if you train yourself to know and notice the default peace you can feel when you start to lose it, like really within a few seconds when your brain is getting into a particular state with SM and other things. You may react faster (and only to the information in context of the software and media - probably pretty oblivious to stuff not on the screen) but you don't think as clearly, and also emotionally so, and so aside from being a time waster too much time online also trains your brain to be stuck in one gear. No matter how much time you limit if you are stuck in one gear, say like a manual stick shift car you won't be able to drive as efficiently up hills etc.

 

Social media is filled with the norms of society, and being in it will inevitably influence you...even if it is just the odd triggering picture here or there, it makes the struggle more difficult.

On top of social media, cutting out other media can be helpful. TV. Movies. Games. I wasn’t aware just how triggered I could be until I stepped away from these things.

 

its been 1.5 years since i quit ig and fb.......but i still use whatsapp.....because it is plain and to the point..........and yes quitting social media has made me connect to real world more

 

Yes, I believe so. Firstly, facebook and youtube is filled with softcore porn and enticing images. Second, since it is a website on a computer it may act as a trigger to PMO.

 

I deleted fb entirely (mostly bc it's a waste of time, I am "friends" with wayyyyy too many people after 14 years who don't need to know my business, and... fuck mark zuckerberg), but anyway yeah I would definitely use fb for pics of hot girls i know/used to date/have slept with to edge in downtime- dangerous behavior!

 

In my case, whatsapp was the biggest problem... a lot of groups with some people sharing triggering stuff and other time wasting shit and I was always compelled to check because of my brain wiring.

 

yeah, I'd do the same when I had SM

 

yeah these days whatsapp has also included story option which is again a waste of time........but still i dont like uploading mine...........my dp on whatsapp is nearly 1.5 years old........as i dont like telling people what i am upto

 

I will leave FB for about 1-2 weeks. Starting yesterday. Let's see what it does to my brain.
Cheers and good work everyone!
/Baldur

 

If you feel that quitting social media will help your reboot process. Then by all means, the OP should try and see if it does.

If there’s any consolation, quitting social media and staying off it for around five months. It’s felt like the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Making me less inclined on seeking validation on the basis of living a happy life. I enjoy the quiet life as an introvert.

It’s absolute bliss, not knowing what other people are saying, doing, etc. Thus, gives me more time and energy for focusing on improving me and my life. The things that REALLY matter.

 

I share your feelings!

 

Benefits I've noted:

• More time!
• More productivity.
  
• Less anxiety.
  
• Less thinking about what everyone else thinks about me (which is a form of paranoia).
• More discipline
• Getting more work done.
  
• Deeper thinking.
  
• Better concentration.
  
• More independent thinking
  
• Better Creativity
• Friends cherish my company morein real life
  
• People I know are more interested in me in real life

I could go on and on.

If you're a little worried about social engineering and manipulation, you're not worried enough (pretty clickbaity sentence, lol)
Here's a little article that will probably make you take the final step and delete the brainwash machine once and for all: https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/mg9vvn/how-our-likes-helped-trump-win

 

From the video the @Berthold Witold posted:

Ring any bells?
Sounds like PMO-Lite, huh?