Porn makes us selfish

Im sure many of you have heard this already and its true but id like to write my own post about it because ive noticed how bad its gotten with myself. During my reboot ive come to realize many things and ive noticed how i built up a lifestyle revolving around porn basically.

Whenever i would take to girls and started getting more closer, i would always lean towards wanting to talk about sexual things. Eventually leading to pics of them, dirty talk by texts, seeing each other. Yes I was friends with them and dated and gree emotionally. But a huge chunk of that wiuld be off of all those things. The pleasure i got from it. And it got worse from a previous relationship i was in.

Also to mention, i would always talk about these things with friends and theyd tell me their stories of encounters with girls and it would be a whole concersation about girks and who had a great body and what mot.

All while thinking of myself.

With this reboot i never will do those things again and will respect my belief in sex after marriage. I know many wont agree or whatnot but rhats what im about. And i want to fully respect girls and view them for what they are not what they look like.

I also developed the habit of lying a lot to y parenrs and to others, to hide my actions, fake the person i really was or just hide it overall.

Anyways, the lifestyle i had revolved around my wants and desires and satisfying myself. I would go the extra ten mikes if it meant i got to be all alone with a girl or be alone at home to PMO all i can. I would skip work, lie about where i was going and risked getting caught so many times because of it. In the moment, it felt amazing. But now here i am suffering major consequences from it all. I wont get into detail but my reboot was far overdue.

Now that im on day 22, im in the middle of withdrawal and my brain begs me for porn or sex. Ive mentioned before somewhere on nofap that i dont want these thoughts, i want to be clean and peaceful. I want to one day date and marry a girl and truly be happy with her. And regarding that, a huge concern is how the girl will look physically.

Now heres where i realized what porn dis to me. Im literally thinkjng to myself, what if i find a girk who doesnt have a great body? what if she sucks at sex? what if i dont like it? Again, these are things my brain thinks about and it worried me so much. I knew that this would be part of the process but im scared to be honest, scared that that will stick with me forever. I cant ever recall a time where a girls body didnt matter to me. Like yeah i talked to all kindsof girls before but in the end it did matter a lot how attracted to uer i was. Now im worried about that never going away.

Im starting to get sidetracked but this is the damage i caused myself because of all this. Im always so concerned out of what will i get out of a relationship in the future? or what will i receive how will i feel etc etc.

Im going through this process, letting my brain rewire and rebuilding my life to be a better person, even if it means i have to endure everyday with urges for a while.

In thise world, we cant have a life where we get everything we want. With porn, it simulated us being able to have it all inside a screen. And we always always always used it. We didnt step out into reality and face a workd where selfishness does mot equal happiness. You will be rejected, you wont be able to have everything, and you WILL have to work to get something. This IS reality. We cant be successful or happy with the click of a button. Its important to not look out only for ourselves but others and make changes because that selfish person porn has made us, will either blast into space or crash and burn.

I hope this wasnt confusing or didnt make sense, i just wanted to share my story and help others see that porn makes us worse and we sometimes may not even notice it. It took me months from starting my reboot to realize who i really was.