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My tastes have escalated! Help

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by tweeby, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. We understand your feelings Brother.
    We are not satirical, or ironic or even sarcastic. It's only in your head, man. It's only in your head.
    Remember that in reality it's only your mind trying to trick you. There is no conspiracy. You can trust your Johnson. Search your feelings young padawan and control your tastebudz with iron fist.

    And remember; It's only in your head, man.
     
    Deadlihood and tweeby like this.
  2. A serious editorial about a very distressing experience of many members in this community should not be made fun of!
     
    Deadlihood, iRebootMyself and Estus like this.
  3. Vulkan, Deadlihood, tweeby and 2 others like this.
  4. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Thanks for the support guys and no I'm definitely not joking around. I've been brought up on the manual according to Manuel. It's everywhere. I had to swear on it when I testified in the court of law. And get this, they put one on every bedside table you ever book in a hotel! Every room I tells ya! Now I know what you're thinking. Can we trust this Gary Wilson guy? After all he has no letters to his name. But they conducted an experiment with mice. At first they were only given tea to drink but eventually they got bored and escalated to drinking hot fudge chocolate. Now they did do a control test where they introduced hot fudge chocolate to the mice to begin with and the mice drank that as their first preference, but Gary Wilson deemed that irrelevant and so didn't publish it in his results. And rightly so I might add. In any case I'm joining the no Starbucks forum. Who's with me??
     
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  5. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Same. When we do the tea run in my office, the girl I work with asks what I want to drink.
    I say I only drink water or cider then she predictably rolls her eyes!!
     
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  6. Thank god there's still someone in the world who understands sarcasm. Thanks guys... Faith in humanity restored :)
     
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  7. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    She’s sounds like a snob
     
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  8. iRebootMyself

    iRebootMyself Fapstronaut

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    funny and creative tbh...
     
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  9. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Amanda Knox kidnapped Madeleine McCann.
     
  10. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Thoughts and Prayers
     
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  11. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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  12. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I most certainly did NOT say that. However, perhaps it is just coincidence that the founder of nostarbucks.com and nofrap.com (short for nofrappacino.com) is called Alexandros??

    Anyway, back to the conversation I was having with my buddy.

    So anyway me and my buddy were both sat in starbucks enjoying our Earl Grey Teas, (well actually me not so much. . . I longed to be sipping on a caramel mac the group of sorority girls happened to be drinking but you guys know how important perception is out in public!)

    My buddy: So Tweebs you know how I was telling you about the coveted Starbucks manual.
    Me: Yeahh.

    My buddy: Well apparently, there's another cafe down south owned by a barista called Lucy Fir, (total bae BTW) where they don't believe in the writings of our esteemed brethren 'Manuel'. She lets her customers drink whatever they want. And her Cafe is always warm, toasty, they got heated seating or something

    Me: No way??
    My buddy: Yeah, they drink whatever they want and no one even bats an eyelid.
    My buddy: You know what Lucy Fir sounds like when you say it quickly, over and over a couple of times heh?

    Me: Dunno, Beelzebub?

    Me: Her cafe sounds like the kinda place where that talk show host would drink, what's her name Ellen Degenerate?
    My buddy: Yeah, I don't agree with her, but she's totally cool, like the way she dresses her haircut, and how she just says what everyone else is thinking!

    Me: Yeahhhh, me too! I totally dig her I even follow her on twitter

    [At this point we had to lower our voices as the people sitting near by were getting suspicious, so I made sure to lower my voice by a couple of octaves]

    Me: So where is this Lucy Fir's cafe and how do you get to it. [I pulled out my phone and hid it under the table prepared to write down the directions.

    My buddy: Well, to get there is a long a treacherous journey, you take the train to the coast and her Cafe is situated just on the curve of the bay. Wait a minute. . . Tweebs I hope you ain't writing down the directions! [he saw me tapping on my iphone]

    Me: Aww hells no! [I say] I'm just replying to my text message, I got a zumba dance class booked today!

    My buddy: Oh ok sure.
    Me: Anyway how is it that you know how to get to her cafe, you haven't been there have you?

    [My buddy suddenly got quiet and his eyes darted from side to side and he let out a nervous chuckle]

    My buddy: Ah ya know, I heard it on the grapevine.

    Then we looked nervously at one another and we both took a long hard gulp on our teas.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2018
    Deadlihood likes this.
  13. NoFrap needs to be a thing, haha.
     
  14. Big black coffees are pretty amazing. Like they say, the darker the roast the sweeter the jolt.
     
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  15. ..Anna..

    ..Anna.. Fapstronaut

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  16. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

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