[30-CHALLENGE] THE THIRTY DAYS CHALLENGE !

day 9

 

Had a week's vacation, don't really know how many days I'm at, however many since I stopped pmo before Christmas. I can't really keep up a daily posting on this forum, but I'm interested in checking in from time to time.
Questions, questions, questions. I have dozens, hundreds of them maybe, and there are no concrete answers. The questions themselves are more important than the answers.
Many of us think we know what happiness is- maybe it's watching an episode of Mad Men, or seeing a movie, or having some ice cream. Or it's making love to a pixelated image of a sexualized body or action, or rather, the physical and mental pleasures we associate with that. Or many may think that happiness is the next car, the next job, the next partner, always something we don't have right now, always the next, next, next. And then we get what we thought would bring us happiness, and then what? Maybe we're happy for a little while, living in a delusion that this will last, but it never does, does it? We want more, we want the next big thing, we want tomorrow, and all of it, but tomorrow never comes...
So... What is happiness?
That's a big one, and when I think I know what it is, I have to question myself, very seriously. Is this true happiness? Can this last? What in the world is happiness, and what is this dissatisfaction with the things I used to think brought it to me. Seriously, what is happiness?
Then that brings the question, what in the world is unhappiness? We know this one quite well. We argue, we get angry, something minor in the external world changes and there we go again, on a rollercoaster of unbearable emotion.
I, personally, don't know. Maybe happiness is seeing this moment, whether we're looking at the wonders of a living, breathing tree, or laying on the floor wrapped up in our dissatisfaction with our lives- maybe happiness is seeing this moment, whatever it is, as enough. We don't need more, we don't need the next, or tomorrow. What about this moment? What about now? All of life will slip past us like a flash of lightning if we cannot be present for our lives, the "good" and the "bad".
We always come down, whether it's from a drug, or from intense physical pleasure, or having a good meal. Unhappiness and happiness seem to be two sides of the same coin, but what if we throw this coin away? Why have this attachment to a preconceived idea of happiness if it does not bring us the satisfaction we crave? What is our preconceived idea of happiness? It differs from individual to individual. And what is this big, scary boogie monster that is unhappiness? Rather, what do we think it is?
I was taking in the sights of the grand canyon, and I thought "Bah! What is this? Breathtaking, unimaginable, I can do without. But now, this dusty, red mulch beneath my feet, and that scraggly little bush clinging to the side of a mundane, tan rock. Now that is rich, rich beauty."
Don't get me wrong, the canyon is amazing, and beautiful, but we seem to be fixated so much on good, right, positive that all the rest of the parts of life slip past. That scraggly, ugly bush is just as beautiful as the grand, wide, open colorful canyon.

At this point, I have gone on long enough, perhaps this is my post for today, I never seem to post in the right sections, heh.

Much appreciation to those who read, and even those who skimmed. Thoughts are welcome. Maybe I should start a philosophy group or something, though I'm unsure if I have that power. A poetry group would be nice, too.

Many bows to all who are dissatisfied with there lives and are making steps to appreciating more of what they already have

Footprints

 

Keep it up!! Good catch there As long as we notice what we're doing.

 

Day 13/30!!

 

Hi buddies,

Im in for this challenge.
5 th day of nofap.
It is difficult but not impossible

 

After having a relapse 2 nights ago and killing my 13 day streak, I swore to do a bare minimum of 30 days. I'm in, day 2/30 right now.

 

4/30

 

Day 1

 

Day 4

 

Day 8! We're a quarter of the way there.
Feeling good, feeling positive at the moment. I've getting adequate sleep since the start of start of January, around 8 hours a night, I'm slowly building up my morning rituals, and adding more stuff in. Slowly but surely. I'm starting to feel positive about things for the first time in two years.

 

So just managed the seven days challenge, figured I try the thirty day challenge and see if I can make it. I think I can! feel very positive and powerful right now. I am more active, proactive and more focused then I have been for years. Three weeks since I logged into any disgusting porn site. This feels solid, just one relapse since I started challenging myself with nofap so It is very positive.

I am still looking for an accountibility partner though (check my thread in the Accountibility partner section)

Have a great and successful day all you nofappers out there!

 

Day 30 of 30 @2525 It does get easier as time passes and the days go by, if you are just starting the 30 day keep it up, soon you will be making this post of completing the 30 day challenge. the only time I think about my online porn addiction is when I have talks with my wife, as she goes through the pain of what I have caused her. See you in the 90 day challenge!!
*52 days free

 

There's no need to hate yourself buddy. You're not a bad person. You're just a good guy with some bad habits. You wouldn't hate yourself if you had a flu, would you? You just cure it and get better, and move on with life.

 

I hope you can work it out. My girlfriend broke up with me In August 2017 so I have no one to either repent or reconsile with atm, and I feel very glad being single at this very moment. Buy's me time to focus solely on my recovery and having eliminated the trigger of chat applications and dating sites I think being single is what I need to be for 2018.

 

Day 7/30

 

day 6/30.
kind of big success for me.
some big urges are beating me right now. i dont know if I can go further.. wish me luck.

 

Starting Day 13

 

Day 27/30

 

--Day 18--

day 18 already!!! i knew this year was gonna be a good one and i can already see it happening!!!
Day 30 here i come!!!!!

 

, I relapsed

Am broken, and I currently have exams, just trying to get myself together and finish my exams. I truely need to make major changes to my life. Life can't go on this way.