[30-CHALLENGE] THE THIRTY DAYS CHALLENGE !

One more day toward the goal. So thankful!

 

Day 2.

 

Day 10

 

Day 15/30!! Half way through

 

Day 9, not too much to report. Taking the time to enjoy people more and conversations. I'm not more confident per say, just more open to people and finding them interesting.

 

Stay strong bro, we may fall but we're never back at square one. Every mistake is part of that learning process. Next time you will have what you have learnt from this time.

 

Day 25, somehow...

 

Day 4

 

Days 2 and 3 are done!

 

day 15 yesterday, forgot to report.
so today it's day 16, I'm going to work all day long without any possible temptations

 

6/30

 

Day 6

 

Day 8/30 and Day 9/30

Apologies, missed the check in yesterday

 

7/30

 

day 0
i hate myself. im pathetic.

 

Day 2 done.

@hiitsme you know, I think that's the problem. You hate yourself. You belief you have an addiction, yet if you slip up, then it's because you are pathetic, right? It's not because it is a frecking ADDICTION! Most addicts don't beat their addiction on their first try. And If you now want to to tell me that you have relapsed not just once, or five, but a hundred times - let me tell you, that I try to get rid of this for over five years. 5 years! And, you know, right now I am making progress for the first time, because I allow myself to talk about my emotions with others. Because they tell me that I have a wrong view of myself, they don't think I am pathetic, and I am beginning to see myself in a different light. You have a toxic voice in your head, calling you pathetic, ugly, fat, unlovable, whatever. That voice drives you into isolation and feeds your addiction. You need to break out of this! Open up, get an accountability partner on this forum. Then look up mindfulness meditation and give it a try. I found the headspace app quite helpful. Mindfulness will help you to realise that you have thoughts, but you are not these thoughts. You have thoughts saying "you are pathetic", but that does not make them true. Mindfulness will help you with that. Best of luck, and now go and be brave and kind towards yourself!

 

Starting Day 15

 

Day 29/30

 

thank you for answering. i actually dont hate myself for what I am, but I hate myself for doing pmo, for being so weak. i want to flourish, i want to enjoy every moment of my life, but this cursed, filthy, disgusting habit, ruins my good senses. before this relapse, i had a 6 days streak, which was a big success for me because I wouldn't endure no more than 2days. during those 6 days i would feel great. i had lots of self confidence. lots of productivity. lots of fresh feelings. even my face looked younger and brighter... but i relapsed (i like to say i collapsed) and destroyed every good sensations. and after another 2 days, i relapsed again now. this is why I hate myself. i hate this weak and pathetic part of myself which ruins my bright part.

 

3/30