How do I talk to this girl?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Erick Pastora, Jan 2, 2018.

  1. Lonewolfpt

    Lonewolfpt Fapstronaut

    I think first of all you shouldn't create too much expectations. Thats the first ste for disapoittment
     
  2. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

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    I disagree. No matter what you do a person is not yours. Relations based in the paradigm of ownership are inherently flawed. Maybe they succeed in having sex, but if that is your goal I feel no sympathy for failure. Best of luck either way.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
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  3. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

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    Lol. Engage in conversation. I agree with you.
     
  4. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    I mean this is what I've been doing even girls I'm not interested I will be friendly and make conversation and just look at her body language
     
  5. Good. Keep doing that.
     
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  6. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Haha thanks bro I've noticed this weekend when I was at the bar with my buddy I noticed that one of the two girls we were taking to was playing with hair I saw here doing it while glance at me or it was towards my friend lol little did I know he knew the girl that was pleying with her hair and got with her back in the day so that lead me to believe she was interested in him still haha so it's just fascinating lol I also remember my date playing with her hair like a couple months back and that same night I kissed her good night but nothing happens after the first date but experience is the best teacher I do want a girl in my life but I know I don't need one to happy or at peace I'm just being aware when those thoughts of loneliness come it's my ego playing on my fears and me resisting the present moment NoFap and God have kept me grounded those are my foundations
     
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  7. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    Ever heard of love at first sight? If that can be true, then you have the intention at first sight to make her love you.
     
  8. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

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    Yeah that’s how my one night stands used to begin. Imagine telling her you want her to meet your parents an hour after meeting. New relationships are delicate. Love at first sight is lust(intoxication). Every once in a while that lust blossoms into something else but that isn’t indicative of a healthy relationship. Better to allow her to love you than to make her. She deserves more respect than that. So do you.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2018
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  9. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    It might be lust , It might not be. If it is lust than it still doesn't mean you have a ONS. You can build it up try to see if it matches between you both. For example with a cup of tea / cofee. That you make it an one night stand doesn't mean that all first love are based on lust that will result in sex. Lust can also result in going after a person to see if you two match.

    I do admit that first love is always appearance based, but what you do with it is up to the person.
     
  10. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

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    I think most of our disagreements come from our definitions of love. I do not believe in love at first sight. If you do, we can respectfully agree to disagree on that point.

    My first point; however, remains. You can’t own another human. You will fail if you don’t show her the respect that an independent human deserves. If she wants you to own her, she’s unhealthy. If you want to own her, you are unhealthy. We’re all here to become more healthy.

    You assume I was the one who made the encounters in to one night stands. Where does that bias come from?
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2018
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  11. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    We might have other definitions of love so lets agree on that. I do have another definition of love at first sight tho.

    I agree you can't own a person. A relationship is like sand. If you put your hand in a bucket of sand and make a fist and put some force on it, you won't have much sand left.
    I also don't belive in owning a person (unless you have a slave which is illegale in a lot of countries), so i agree with you on that point.

    My main point was never about owning a person as your possesion but that there are guys that intent of making a girl they see his gf and succeed.
    This doesn't mention that this guy owns the girl.

    You said it in your previous comment :
     
  12. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

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    My initial comment was about ownership. Even if slavery were legal, you couldn’t truely own another person. Many relationships are based in that paradigm and suffer when the couple comes out of the honeymoon phase.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2018
  13. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Nooo don't say "I saw you at school" that sounds stalker status. Rephrase that... ASK! Ask "Hey, do you go to such and such school? Oh yeah I thought I knew you from some where, how do you like it??" etc etc. That way it doesn't sound like you're a creeper/stalker
     
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  14. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    mind to explain why knowing what persons are around you is stalking? I mean if you are into a girl that is on the same school as you, then are is a great chance see each other.
     
  15. velkcom

    velkcom Fapstronaut

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    Better do that, and you will understand what she think about you, wants she talk?. Just don't lose your time on her. There are many different pretty girls around you. Make action.Good luck
     
  16. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Bruh.... "I saw you at school" sounds awkward AF. That sounds like something a nervous kid would say. lmao And that wasn't just my opinion my GF also agreed(we read these posts together). Just my opinion and my GFs opinion, chill. Even if you see each other frequently, it's awkward AF to say "I see you at school all the time" etc. lmfao That indicates you are trying to spot her out of a group or crowd of people and it sounds weird. Just my opinion... Try doing a cold approach with a girl and say "Hey, I see you all the time at such and such location..." lol you won't get very far. The only way that works is if you're talking about the location you're at "Hey I always see you here" you don't say "Hey I see you shopping over at such and such grocery store" etc etc. LMAO!!!!!!
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2018
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  17. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

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    ‘I see you all the time at such and such location’ sounds fine as long as that isn’t the end of your statement. ‘I saw you...’ on the other hand...

    I saw you at school the other day... we made extended eye contact. You looked like you were having a bad day... you can talk to me about it.... what’s your name?
     
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  18. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Hello. You look busy, but this will only take a minute. For the past year I've been trying to convince myself to talk to you. We go to the same school. I notice you all the time because I think you're beautiful. I'm so awkward and shy that I created a 2 page forum thread about not being able to talk to you. I don't know much about you, but I'm absolutely ready to give up my self worth for the sake of gaining your approval. If you think I'm being creepy, it's only because I'm creeping towards the pedestal above the clouds I've built for you. I'm not dangerous or anything. I'm just afraid of interacting with you because the genetic beauty that you were born with has the power to crush my already dangerously low self confidence. So yeah.... see you next time!

    All joking aside... It actually depresses me that people can't talk to each other anymore without trying to protect themselves from possible emotional harm.

    The fact that you're trying to figure out the perfect thing to say to her is already game over.
     
  19. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

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    End of thread-
     
  20. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    It says that you notice that person for what ever reason. That it sounds weird depends on how you say it and how you play the game.
    I agree if you say "I see you at school all the time" it can be pretty weird, because if you see her all time time why didn't you take action earlier.
    But if you say something like "Hi, I saw you at school yesterday (or today is even better) and I ...." with great confident and a smile on your face. It will change the whole situation.

    So true!
     
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