Superpowers, but not enough ?

Please help me, fellow nofappers.

I am on day 131 since last masturbating to porn, day 24 of no orgasm/no ejaculation. (I masturbated once without porn at day 100, and have had sex multiple times until the last time doing so 24 days ago)

Even though I noticed quite some changes, I feel so unmotivated and without a purpose of even being on this planet... I feel lost as if someone has put me in this world and I have no idea what to do next... I’m in this constant grey zone of emotions...

Is it a flatline ? Is it going to change ? Does EVERYONE who does nofap become motivated afterwards ?

I’m so lost..

 

In one way I feely life my life is very flat and nothing happens in it, but in another I feel like I am disintegrating..

 

I completely get what you mean. I think not having a purpose causes all this. I was sort of waiting to get better and be more motivated, but the real question to ask is: be more motivated to do what ?
I don’t have an answer for that...
And I don’t know how to find out either.
And regarding discipline, I would create discipline, but in what ? What routines, etc... Even though I understand the words consciously, it doesn’t ring a bell on an emotional level, given that I’ve been fapping along without a purpose.
At least I was disciplined in doing nofap for so long ! Lol