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I need my real life back

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by dan86, Jan 29, 2018.

  1. dan86

    dan86 Fapstronaut

    Hello there,

    I'm 31 yo male. First time i see porn i'm about 11 yo. Exactly right, i know porn before i have my first kiss.

    But it was just a glimpse back then, nothing special untill after highschool, when i was 20. Maybe the hormone and my fellow friend that rapidly collected every genre of porn, i became hooked.

    I do sex with real women, but i just too shy to do it in my social circle, so i mostly go to pros.

    Untill i met my girlfriend and not so long we were married. but it didnt stop me...
    when our relationship got bitter, offcourse i cant go anywhere else, so PMO become sort of "solution" for me.

    I realize these, when i get trough difficulties in life, PMO bring alternative life for me, i think its better than do drugs, fortunately im not on drugs nor alcohol.

    But this PMO habit start bring its own problems,

    Everytime i get stress, i turn to PMO for relieve, it felt like i keep running away from my real life, even worse,
    i forget what is real life.

    EDITED: why i want to quit using P? i added it just to remind myself, and to have a solid base for my plan.

    first
    its just not human nature. its not sex either. it is side effect of technology that manipulates my brain. in a long term, it will do damage to my brain.

    second
    personally, PMO was a tool i use to runaway from my harsh reality. a release.
    but the fact is.. it will increasingly distancing my self from reality. meanwhile, the reality is still there and getting worse. as a result, it ruin my life in every aspects.

    third
    its simply not healthy. it gives me PE. and because of it, i have (very low) self esteem.

    For a brief start, my reboot parameter is Abstaining from PM. i will do it in 90 days challenge, starting February 1st.

    Hope i found insights from you guys/girls, on how to get our real life again..

    Thanks for reading!
    -dan

    note: sorry for my bad english (i'm non-native speaker)
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2018
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Hey @dan86 ,

    I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome".

    There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope).

    My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program.

    Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

    1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

    2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

    Learn the NoFap Program
    The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

    They are:

    You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

    Get Involved with the Community
    The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

    Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can:

    • Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH
    • Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles
    • Pick a forum and make sure every post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.
    • Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.
    Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

    * L

    PS - Think of pmo like a wolf. Stay near the center of the group with the winners and the wolf has a more difficult time finding you. But, stray near the edges of the community and the wolf can pick you off.
     
  3. One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

    @C. J. Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/153580/
    ---
    @Reverent Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/
    ---
    @KbLnW Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152710/
    ---
    @Struggle Bug Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/
    ---
    @BigDawg913 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
    ---
    @kropo82 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/
    ---
    @tet2vd Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513
    ---
    @Protagoras Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/
    ---
    @JakeO5 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152940/
    ---

    There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

    This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

    * L

    PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal.

    The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page. Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time.

    Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar.


    -
     
  4. For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

    Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

    I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

    @C. J.
    @hoping_cannon
    @DavidGibson
    @SteelshoT
    @Jewels
    @reystronaut
    @2525
    @weddingnails
    @PatrickR
    @Beamer

    Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles.

    So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

    Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

    * L
     
  5. dan86

    dan86 Fapstronaut

    Thank you @StopTheMusic

    Its really nice to see a very fast and complete response from you. thanx alot.

    Im on progress to learn this website and forum, I definitely need support from all of you.
    But I wonder one thing, who is the official admin of NoFap?
     
  6. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  7. dan86

    dan86 Fapstronaut

    Thanx @D . J .

    i just want to put my mind into work
     
    D . J . likes this.
  8. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.
     
  9. dan86

    dan86 Fapstronaut

    thanx again @D . J .
    i appreciate it
     
    D . J . likes this.

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