My wakeup call has come.. ive never felt so ashamed.

Welcome and good to see you have insight on the issue.

Myself I encountered similar issues, late developer, porn use as avoidance in 20's. I myself had problems with erections once I was first with someone. Fortunately they helped me through these and I was off porn when I was with them and I found myself able to perform over a few months.

Unfortunately recently I've slipped back on and off since then but I am trying to get back on a path of porn free.

Porn is fantasy and generally unlimited.. you can see a girl, then get bored see another, see a different scenario, different positions, more participants, everything really. Real sex is different and you need to be feeling it differently and more intimately I believe. I think abstaining really helps and makes you more connected, rather than thinking 'end goal' (for me anyway) with women.

You sound like you got all the qualities women and people look for just have this on your back.

Wish you all the fortitude with this.

Ps I've used pills and they work providing you are in the mood, just can give you bit of a tension headache.

 

Welcome to the site. Although I haven't had the problem of getting it up. I have had the problem of not being able to finish which is extremely frustrating, and is still bothering me 3 years later.

 

Hey man. Your problem will go away. Just stop masterbating completely. It will take time but it will work again. Welcome man. We can help you. This is going to be one of the best things you've ever done for yourself. I'm on day 3, and I can't remember the last time I've felt this good. The best advice I can give you is to get involved with this site.

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?members/stopthemusic.158476/ friend this guy he has already helped me a lot.

 

how do you feel about you? are i=you just a function of whether you get hard, or is your life about something you want it to b about. Acne just started things, the real deal is how do you feel about you, how did your parents and so on make you feel about you. You can get an ttractive body and become an olympic athlete but what do you love about you, what is good about you what will be more important than how erect you are about you to make people want their lives and your lives to run together

inside you may have the physique of a god, but you do feel like the acne kid they made jokes about, you got to change inside you to make that not matter, no matter how many erections you have.

porn is an addiction chemically, neurologically, and pyshologically. you have to stop it and stop making your own porn by masturbating and thinking porn]

you need MONTHS clean and you need to turn around your life from thinking that something outside like howyou look or how erect you are is the key to connect with women or anyone else

i felt awful as a kid because of an abuse house because of being opoor and black in a neighborhood that was not that, and having a mild case of polio as a kid.

I worked very hard at things and even got to be the best at one thing in the world at one point, everyone I knew admired me but I did not change what was INSIDE me. I sat and realize one night about 40 years ago that I really had no higher achievement in what i was doing than I had on an international level, and no great respect but I still felt I had no ability to be loved for me because I did not love me, i just saw the target of the pain and horror I felt, I had the opposite problem u have, all the masturbating and porn thinking made me erect very easy stay hard long and lets say my size mattered and women would brag to their friends about me

but I could not feel love, I could not feel acceptance, because it did not matter what people thought of me, what mattered is accepting me not as a big bunch of needs, not a ssomeone trying to get back at things, but as just one more person who can share a laugh and a cry and a whine

you got to do that work, you got to face your fears come from something harder to deal with than acne

 

Don't worry man you've come to the right place. I've only been here a couple days myself and have found so much comfort knowing how many others have/are going through the same thing. I'm 33 And much like you, I was a bit of a late bloomer and had dealt with bullying at a young age as I moved to the states when I was 10 and kids at that age can be quite cruel and not very welcoming to "foreigners" so I definitely have some deep issues stemming from that. I was a scrawny kid throughout junior high and high school so that certainly didn't help. In college, being tired of my physique (or lack thereof..) and inability to get attention from girls as much as i would have liked, i decided to start working out and bulking up. Mind you I had been M'ing to P all through high school/college and beyond, choosing a virtual world where sex was a click away and didn't involve getting rejected by girls. Today, I am in shape, athletic etc, and honestly have no issues getting with girls. However, most of my adult sex life has been plagued with performance issues, leading to embarrassment when the equipment didn't work, which lead to performance anxiety, rinse and repeat..
I did manage to have a normal sex life with an ex, which lasted 3 years, so I know I can do it, however it felt like I was back to square one with new partners. My issue these days is less so with getting an erection, and more so with maintaining and finishing. I've had a few encounters lately and only a handful of o's usually after multiple back to back sessions, long hand stimulation, etc.

As far as the pill, trust me on this, I did what you're talking about- went to my doctor, got the lecture that I was young and fit and it's just the nerves, I insisted, so they did a prostate exam (not fun) and determined I had a bit of an enlarged prostate (if you get aroused and don't come, it will happen). He prescribed pills, which definitely helped with getting an erection but lead to prolongued sex with no payoff. I wasn't feeling aroused because of the porn fixation and normal sex just couldn't do it. Only way i could come was through very long manual stimulation by her with decent pressure. I will say that the pill can help break from the nerve thing the first couple times as long as you ween yourself off of it and don't make it a habit and build a psychological dependency. But bottom line is if you're not aroused, you will not come, even with an "artificial" boner, period.

I'm hoping a reboot and total abstinence from PM going forward will help me finally shake this thing. Having had the chance at one point to experience normal sex and being able to get aroused and come naturally with a partner is the best thing ever and no porn or m is worth ruining that.

Good luck man and if I can help in anymore way, hit me up.

 

My advice would be to try without pills first.. in the time when I resolved the issue I didn't use them and time away from the porn fixed it. I used the pills occasionally later to help a bit.

I went to a high street pharmacy website and it was done by a form and online doctor, paid and then collected at store. Never had any problem (UK). I expect it depends on the doctor but many people have gone and it's a common issue.