49/m/Christian/USA. Looking for AP

Write message if you like.

 

This would be his wife. I mean no disrespect. With that said, I would like to point out that your thinking may be off a bit.
#1. Assuming that we need to “even the playing field” seems to put an awful lot of responsibiliy on me for his actions. Since this has come to light and befor I have demonstrated
How very sorry that I have contributed to this and other martial issues.
#2 of course I’ve lusted for others on occasion, but was not hiding this from anyone. My husband,whom I deeply love and respect saw and read as well as I hope that you are not inmplying that all women and men are pretty interchangeable in there thoughts. This kind of sounds like an all men do it sort of thinking.
#3. My selfishness? We are all selfisish in our lives. So what’s your point. Are you suggesting that my selfishness is what drove him to porn? Ignoring the fact that this was a slight problem before he met me, again, it seems to put an aweful lot of culpability on me. We have spoken to our minister (who happens to be a woman).

I respect your opinion but Before you give advice to someone, I would advise you to think a little more on there situation or try to find out more. I have spent the last 3 months trying to protect and help him through this. Not every marriage is textbook.

 

This is uncomfortable but necessary. I doubt nofap is the platform to duke out marital issues and in some respect it may be counterproductive to have both husband and wife here. Reason being that the husband may feel "pressured" to defend his wife even if he believes there is some truth to certain points being made. If you are both Christian then I exhort you to seek prayer and fasting and attack this issue from a spiritual stance. Demons love to break up marriages because it is symbolic of Christ's love for the church. What was said concerning female Pastors is correct. And there are certain things that a woman may not be capable of correcting in a man. I have seen this for myself firsthand in deliverance ministries. I've personally seen demons manifest on people and can instantly read the FEAR in women's faces. Enough on that issue. The scriptures declare that there is a divine order to the sexes and that wives are to submit to husbands (the Hebrew word for which literally means Master) and husbands should cherish their wives etc. The absence of this God determined family structure results in lots of problems. I speak not only to the marital issues but to the wider ranging socio-cultural issues currently being faced due to the abandonment of Judea-Christian gender roles. May God bless you both. Seek the love and encouragement of others in the Faith. Bear with one another. Forgive one another. Harden not your hearts and seek to please God and live out Christ's redemption. May the peace and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

 

So therefore, this site is only for the men suffering from this and not at all to help an open and honest relationship for them and their significant others? I am the one who did the time and research to find this group. I invited and encouraged my husband to join. I asked him many times if he felt comfortable with me reading his comments. I ask PERMITION to comment on his specific subject line. I believe him that he is being open and honest in things he writes. The only reason this has become an issue is that he asked for help and some how became about how as a Christian I should be a submissive wife. I have never had a relationship where the has worked out. No man, until my husband, has made me feel worthy of anything. If you care to believe that this is my selfishness or the men that I dated did not follow in gods plan,then I suggest you take a closer look at your own life. I believe in the word of god but understand that it was written at a time when women were mainly thought of as property. Very vaulued and lived property , but property all the same. I believe in marriage as a partnership in our gods eyes.

All of this is truly putting men in a loophole where all they are is urges and cannot help themselves. Is that really what you want to project? Even throwing Christianity user the bus by doing so?

Again, respect your opinion, but refuse to be thought of as mearly being a wife that must abide by her husbands needs over ours (husband and wife, family). I do not agree with your understanding of love and respect.

I agree that this is not the time or place to air grievances against the sexes, so if you like please start a conversation with me. WE are making this a debate over something that was entirely meant to be helpful for my husband and has turned into a war over biblical matters. Please focus on helping these strong and wonderful men and their family’s out of this situation.

 

@Regorj37 and @coffee_chick, I feel that the comments made by others in this thread so far are completely unhelpful.

Sadly, Accountability Partners is not the best forum for the issues you wish to explore and receive positive input about.
My suggestion is that you leave this thread (or got to the top where it says Thread Tools, @Regorj37 and Delete Thread).

The forum where I hope you will find the understanding and support you need is Rebooting In A Relationship. Click here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/rebooting-in-a-relationship.14

 

The misogynistic posts have been removed from this thread.

 

To the OP .. I am 42 years old Christian / married for 21 years / my DDay was 8 months ago .... our marriage is still very much "on the rocks" / "in the balance".....if you are still looking for an AP, hit me up.

 

Seems like ppl are fiesty today !

 

I'm a 41 year old Christian husband and father of two, married 20 years. I'd be happy to be an AP.