Giving up even more.

So I lay in bed this morning extremely tempted. I almost lost to the temptations. Then I realized that I'm creating temptations by going on Facebook and Instagram and looking at my beautiful friends pictures. And I realize it's not so different from P. I'm still taking in an overload of pretty girls and over stimulating my brain with these images and getting turned on and it brought me to the realization that I need to stop. So I decided my challenge is now going to include any mindless internet browsing. Unless I'm learning something on the Internet, I've got to stay off it. I seriously waste so much valuable time looking at dumb shit and useless YouTube videos, killing time on social media sites. And just now it's making sense how much that's effecting my brain. I think that doing this may make the results of this challenge ten times more effective and all around more life changing. All that time should be used for better things. I'm glad I came to this realization, I believe it will really help me achieve this. In fact, I may delete Facebook off my phone just to push myself even harder.
Anyhow, maybe some of you want to do the same, try to use our time each day more productively. Feedback appreciated!

 

I had to delete FB off my phone, but making a conscious choice to assign a specific 'No Facebook Day' seems like a great idea. I know that will really push my limits, which will be a good test. So far it's been about 10 days since I learned the effects of porn and stopped watching. I feel really great about making it this far, but damn it sure is tempting. I think about how nice it would be to have the company of some videos, because I feel pretty alone in the female department at the moment, and I still think about my ex often(it's sad because we broke up 2 years ago, we're still friends, but I don't expect us to ever give it another try). But I know that overcoming this challenge will be so much more fulfilling and rewarding than to relapse. I think as long as I am able to remind myself of that, I will be able to strongly push through this.

 

@yorokobi
I think you're right about needing to delete my actual account. Sure, deleting the app from my phone might make it harder to access visual stimulation, but I'm still able to do it on a computer. It's like I create this stupid thought in my head that I might meet a girl on there. It's stupid because I would never want to date someone I met online. I am barely 22, I have a good amount of friends, very few social anxieties, I'm usually good around people. But I believe that my small lack of confidence, or the hope that a girl will come up to me first, has stopped me from creating a relationship with someone in real life rather than online. In high school I spent a lot of time messing up my head by chatting online with strangers, meeting girls on myspace/facebook. I never did more than sext and send pictures, and that has made me realize that it's the whole online addiction that is my problem. I need to actually talk to real girls and put effort into creating friendships with them instead of being scared, then coming home to look for a girl I can add on facebook. It's just stupid. When I really break it down, it's just so illogical. I could be creating a lot of great relationships with girls, but instead learned that's it's way easier to have a relationship with the internet. Now I need to challenge myself and break the core of this habit. It's the end of day 7 and I have urges like everyone else. But my challenge isn't so much in fighting those urges. The hard part... actually talking to girls and being social. And it's not just keeping a conversation going, I've been introduced to girls and had fine conversations. My issue is talking to a girl that I see across the room without any introduction. How do I just go up and start talking? How can I start a conversation without being a creep? Maybe that's something too.. Unless I'm already comfortable with a girl, I always feel like a creep. It's like, in reality I know I'm not being creepy. I just feel like a creep, because I came over to 'hit on this girl' when I have this idea in my head that most girls think it's creepy when a guy just comes over and hits on them. Someone help me on this thought...


anywho
I can see why a lot of people keep a journal and write daily. I am realizing a lot of my core problems as I write this. It's all unwrapping itself in front of me as I type, I can fully see and understand what PMO has done to my life. And what has caused this "addiction".

I assume the further along I am in this, the clearer this will all become! For now, I know what I need to work on. Being comfortable and social around girls I'd like to get to know. Any tips on how to better achieve this would be more than greatly appreciated!