Single and being been told "Don't worry, you'll meet someone" or "I'll set you up"

The fact that you take it personally and you react negatively towards it is the same reason why you're afraid of rejection. You care too much about what other people think. You surrender your self worth to the opinions of others. It's too big of a deal to you.

If you're actually not being defensive about it, then you would respond in a carefree manner. Something like "oh, thanks".

The problem isn't what they're saying to you. The problem is that you react towards it negatively. It triggers your insecurities.

 

But do you want to be in a relationship?

Because I used to feel the same way. "I don't really need to be in a relationship, I don't have time, It's too much effort". But deep inside I really want to experience the connection and intimacy you get from being in one.

The world is not what you think it is.
Life is not what happens inside our heads.

Don't mind these people. Let them talk, let them set you up, what do you have to lose, time, effort? That's fear luring you back to your comfort zone, to PMO.

 

Just let them know youre fine being single.

 

No problem.

This situation probably adds to your fear of approaching women as well.

You can't control life outcomes or other people, but you can take responsibility for how you perceive and react towards them. Deep down you know these people don't mean you any harm. At worst there could be a little teasing involved. The best thing you can do whether or not you have healthy self esteem is to react in a fun, carefree, and unreactive manner. Not only does that show them that you don't mind being single without having to tell them... it also stops them at their tracks when they see they can't get a negative reaction from you. A positive reaction like that can also sub communicate that you don't have problems with dating. It's the way you would act if you actually had a partner.

This also gives you necessary pressure to change your life. Not really about having a partner to prove something to others, but more so growing your self esteem and being able to react to things in a different way.

This is why attaching your self worth to specific outcomes isn't the best idea. Because if for whatever reason things don't workout then your self worth is completely gone. Do things and behave in a manner that makes you proud of yourself even if it's not the outcome you wanted.

 

I say I march at the own beat of my drum lol it's a polite way to say idgaf I'm doing my own thing

 

Saying things like I'm not fit for relationships I don't think are really conducive I realize negativity is pretty much useless I'm working on that but I've been finding other things than women to give myself self worth like cooking working out reading and strengthening my faith women know you are not perfect and you are human so you are worthy of a relationship but you want focus on other things that will ultimately help present yourself as the best version of yourself but realize life just happens and there no timelines so just be open if the opportunity arises and you feel having a relationship would be an addition rather than a burden to your life

 

Hey brother, I have the same problem. When my friends bring their partners or I am in a family gathering, people couldn't stop landing their eyes on me being single. I have been single ever since but not a virgin. I found it difficult to get along with girls (well with people sometimes) because I am afraid of intimacy. Whenever people get too close or I sense that they rely on me I feel panic. I couldn't help having a panic attack that I need to escape. I have no clue why it happens. Probably your case is different but one thing is that being single is not wrong. You can enjoy the freedom to pursue your dream freely. Next time when your friends tease you about being single, show your empathy for them being traped! Pros and Cons, don't overreact!

 

I’m a woman and I got this for years! It was horrible. But women get the old added “you know your eggs are getting old when are you going to find a man?” After awhile it does wear on you high or low self esteem it does not matter. If you have a really good friend who wants to set you up that sometimes works because they kmow you well. But if you are looking to date I say go on dates with anyone that you can, don’t turn down set ups, it’s good dating practice. And my response as to why I was still single was “i just have not met the right person yet.” You need offer no more information. And know that for the most part people that say this to you do it out of care and concern for you. They are usually in relationships and know how it feels to be happy in one. They want that for you. That’s all.

 

me too. i am 26 and a girl. had relationships but always felt on my own. then i started loving myself and now it is fine. i didn't try to get into another relationship to make me happy. then i see people in unhappy relationships or in love with people that don't feel the same or use them and I feel good that I am single. when i meet a guy worthy of my time, i will date him but don't wanna waste time and suffer. now being single doesn't hurt or doesn't bother me. i feel actually better about being single than dating or being in love with someone that will never love me back

 

I was single for most of my life as well. I had a few long term relationships but never married or engaged. Once you are comfortable with being alone you will make a much better partner to someone else and be willing to accept only the best for yourself. If you are not you tend to accept whatever comes at you.
The only thing I would caution and again you are still young but need to consider if you want kids and family you need to start looking sooner rather than later. I never wanted kids but now at age 40 I have lots of female friends who were happily single for their 20s and started dating to marry in their late 30s and now they are rushing to find a partner while their fertility is slipping away. It could take some time to meet a mate so this is something to consider. Men as well. They think they can procreate forever and while that’s true for most they also have infertility problems as they age, a risk of birth defects and then of course chasing wrong a 2 year old at 50 years old. There has been a huge increase in womb shoppers too. Men on online dating sites looking for women in child bearing years but they are 50. They struggle to meet a woman who can bear kids who is interested in them.

When I was 28 I thought I had all the time in the world but boy it goes by fast!

 

I tell people I haven't met anyone I wanna date, yet. I can't say anything about being set up since it hasn't happened to me much.

 

Because no one can truly know you, no one can truly approve or disapprove of you.

Only you can do that.

So if you want to be single, then be single. If you want a relationship, then work towards that.

Be confident in where you've been, where you are, and what you currently lack, but are working towards.

Focus on doing what you want. If you're serious about your life / desires / intentions / progress, then the opinions of others won't be able to overpower or bother you.

They don't really know who you are on a deeper level.

Only you can validate yourself.

Other people can be a sort of mirror to your own life. How you choose to perceive and react towards external things / events / people can tell you a lot about what's going on within you and what things you need to confront.

 

I'm in my mid 20's and I've heard this. There are only two responses you need here:
"You'll meet someone" → "Yup" → Because of course you will and it's your choice whether and how you want to engage with the people you meet
"I'll set you up" → "Look, a steak brought in on a silver platter might be tasty but it can't compare to the thrill of hunting."