Rebooting and Premature Ejaculation

I am in the same boat as you when it comes to Premature ejaculation as a matter of fact this is mostly the reason why i am on nofap, but its too bad there are not a lot of information here about PE. i tried the success story section and still no info on people that did reboot and managed to beat PE.

All am left with is to try it out myself because honestly i don't think going back to porn and masturbation is something to get back to.

Please inform us if you found anything.

 

...my theory is that PE can be psychological. That a calm and stable mind is needed to train oneself out of it - one not beset by worry. Thus worrying and thinking about it; even comin on here and writing about it - is self defeating; when it comes to overcoming this problem. In my opinion

 

The Pussy was tight

 

i don't have ED but the PE i have is pretty bad

 

Same as you, 27 y/o male, slim body type. No ED really but definite PE issues. Not that I get a chance to have sex all that often, but when I did, I've noticed that if the girl really turns me on, it's really hard no to cum almost immediately. When it's been 'just sex' with a girl that doesn't excite me all that much, I actually have a hard time getting it up. So like you say it's two extremes... For me, I'm sure the issue is mainly in my head, because when I'm relaxed (and I've already came once), there are cases I've gone for 10-15 minutes with no urge to ejaculate whatsoever. I'm guessing there are numerous psychological and physiological factors involved, but one thing is sure - PMO doesn't help and is most definitely not a solution. My advice to you is to curb PMO whatever the cost or however great the disappointment is after a PE episode.

It's also important to pinpoint what PE actually is. Medically, it's supposed to be ejaculation within a minute (+/-) of actual vaginal intercourse. What I've heard from a lot of ladies is that whatever men brag about or boast to friends and potential partners alike, 98% percent of men ejaculate within 3-5 minutes of actual intercourse and that's completely normal, even from their partner's point of view. What most women pay attention to is your commitment to her feelings and sexual needs. Most men use many other ways to please their woman and they are grateful for that. In studies I've come across, a very low percentage of women have never experienced vaginal orgasm (due to penile intercourse) even once! Keeping that in mind, anything below ~3 minutes is sure to frustrate both partners, but especially the male. PE is mainly a 'man' issue and I've rarely heard a woman complain on that front (alone).

That said, exceptions always exist and there are surely 'studs' who can last a really long time, whether because of physical or mental insensitivity. However, you will be surprised that many of those men hate this and call it 'Delayed ejaculation' - no matter how much stimulation they get, they can't finish. That's a whole new problem for both them and their women, as they would feel like don't turn on their partner, they're not 'good enough in bed' etc. Also most women will tell you usually after 5-10 minutes, no matter how good the sex is, it gets boring and tedious. It's just not meant to be an incredibly lengthy act.

Some suggest edging as a way to train the brain into not associating sexual pleasure with almost immediate ejaculation, which makes sense. We PMO addicts have wired our brain to be able in a minute or so of intense visual stimulation to cum instantly. However, almost all successful Fapstronauts have warned edging is dangerous, addictive and leads to PMO more often than not.

My philosophy now is reboot first, think about sex and PE later. I don't have a partner anyway so it doesn't matter all that much. What the real problem would be if such a girl shows up what am I to do - just shoot and go for it or would I just run away in fear of sexual failure? We all know how destructive to male self-confidence that can be. I guess the only real way to deal with this issue definitely is not to measure your manhood on the amount of sex you have or the length on intercourse when it occurs.

I'm going to follow this thread and give my own feedback when I can but truthfully, I haven't come across many successful stories about PE. That shouldn't discourage us, it's very important we don't feel like we have a disease or that this state is 'incurable'. I prefer to look at it at something we're not very good at, a skill that needs to be developed. Just like we all run at different speeds, have different body structure, strength and stamina etc. Same goes on the sexual front. Not everyone is blessed with the same 'talents'. What I've heard and learned from personal experience is that overthinking about the this, like many such issues, only makes it worse.

 

That post is really motivational in some way.
I’m suffering from PE too, 8-9 years of PMO’s cost
Anyways i hope to overcome it.

 

Don't despair there, friend! I am glad my long post was not completely in vain! It really helped me to know there are many others struggling with PMO and PE issues, too. We are here to support each other, share stories and ideas that ultimately lead to a normal life in all aspects. My focus was deliberately that this 'issue' is mostly in our heads - there are no 30 min pounding sessions in real life (outside of porn, and even there it is achieved by a combination of drugs/numbing sprays and clever editorial cuts). Accept yourself and your strengths and weaknesses, and if possible, work to better yourself. All else is illusion, overly high expectations can ruin anyone if he/she is not careful. Just like you are never going to find the 'perfect' partner, you are not going to be perfect in all areas of your life. It's like watching an action flick and being disappointed you can't single-handedly top a dictator, eliminate all bad guys in your way and get all the hot ladies on a silver platter at the end. That is not real life, and we should be aware of that in all other aspects.

For people like us, but sadly now in society as a whole, P has established some pretty unrealistic sexual images/expectations. I am very sure no one had heard of PE before the P industry took over the world. Like I said, that does no mean the problem is not there for some folks, but is certainly exaggerated and overcomplicated. Just like the penis size debate, our own scewed perceptions enhance and deepen the issue. We should (as a society) focus more on love, respect and generosity. If you apply the same principles to your sex life, I am sure a real lady would appreciate that tons more than a minute or two longer on the 'sex-clock'.

To not be overly theoretical (although like I said our perception on the matter is key), I implore everyone to share any website, video or personal experience with PE and eventual solutions, so we can analyze and practice some of them. My first suggestion would be for everyone to get informed on the 'Kegel exercise for men' which I am sure is overrated but has been mentioned a lot as a possible way to improve ejaculation (prostate muscle) control. The mental part is trickier, but like a poster above mentioned, meditation, deep breathing and visualization practices are underrated IMO. Everyone want a magic pill or solution, but we all know any benefit to the mind and body comes through dedicated, hard work and motivation. Keep going! Focus on rebooting, all else will come soon.

 

This is also the question i am thinking when i start the no PMO.
I am 39 years old. Married. And having both PIED and PE. Double whammy.

I had ED or discovered that I had ED and PE when I got married 5 years ago.

The PMO things started when i was 20 years old. Masturbating with porn. Maybe not really hardcore so to speak.. but at least 3 times a week i would do PMO.

When i realized i had ED and PE, o thought it i had some health issue or something wrong below the belt. As Gary Wilson mention it in yourbrainonporn.com.
I have tried pills, spray to reduce penis sensitivity and also penis massage. It did not work in fact its it is getting worse.
Then I found nofap. And read and see Gary wilson on youtube.

I realized the problem is in my brain. Really porn has changed how your brain works. I did not realized or believed that your brain is the reason for ED. For me it must be something wrong with your penis.

After i understood what is happening to your brain because of porn, i started the no PMO routine. Really no P-sub or edging.

I am in 68 days when I tried to have sex with my wife. Well, i can said that i can have a strong erection. Although it not always hard but after a little bit of foreplay i can get hard again.

This is not the case when i am PMO before. During that time, i can get hard but will go limp just after 2 or 3 minutes and it almost impossible to get hard again. But now i can get hard with a little bit of foreplay. My mind is also focus on my wife and not fantasize with porn anymore.

But still have PE issue. I mean i cum too early in 3 minutes.. but this is way much better than having ED.

You can replace it with foreplay, cuddling etc.

I still consider in rebooting stages. But i believed no PMO really works. I don't think to go back to PMO ever again. Your life is way much better without porn. Trust me. Porn is just stupid.

I will continue the no PMO journey and hopefully the ED and PE will be cured soon.

Sorry for my bad english but i hope you understand i am trying to say.

 

Here are my two cents. 23, male, slim body type (am I seeing a pattern here?).

I have been a heavy porn user since the age of 14. I never realized I had PIED and PE until my first sexual encounter. Needless to say that it was a disaster and left a pretty deep mental scar that hasn't cured completely even though many years have passed since then.

Same as you guys I have found myself in a dilemma. Do I stick with NoFap and increase my sensitivity resulting in heavier PE or do I allow myself fapping and end up with a penis that won't react to a naked woman in front of me? Neither of these options seemed attractive to me.

After many ruined sex sessions and several different attempts to solve the problem I came to the strong conclusion that PE is a problem easier to solve than PIED. It's bad if you come within a few minutes of the act, but it's completely devastating if you can't even get it up. I've been in both situations and I believe this is pretty self explanatory.

And, honestly, there's no real trick that does the deal. What helped me was a combination of many different things. I know that I had a big problem with performance anxiety the roots of which were down there in my when I lost my virginity. So I spent a good amount of time in improving my confidence. Mentally picture yourself and your girl having sex. Having good sex. She feels good. You make her feel good. When you are confident that you will make her feel good instead of being being afraid you will disappoint her, it will eliminate the perfomance anxiety actually making her feel better off in the end. There is a wonderfull humorous saying I love to quote: Two minutes in heaven are better than one minute in heaven. Here's the clip, I just rewatched it and it syncs perfectly with that humorous type of confidence I am talking about.

The next I did is partly cheating, but I always start with cunnilingus. First of all it focuses completely on her, secondly your tounge is very unlikely to suffer from PE as well and after you've done the job is serves as an additional layer of "security" because, hey, you're job's done, get it off your checklist and now you can focus on your part without being afraid of having finished before she did.

The third part is the tricky one, because it involves masturbation. I have tried several methods and came to the conclusion that the only one that had a real effect on me was returning the a healthy M routine. I say it's tricky because I have multiple times ended my streak solely because I began with allowing myself to M which would lead to first softcore pictures helping me to M, then these softcore pictures would become more and more focused on my fetish, which would ultimatelly lead to just regular porn sessions. It was hard but I managed to do it. I can't give you any adive here, it's all about that willpower to allow yourself to masturbate, but not allow anything more than that.

The results? I managed to overcome both PIED and PE problems. From a purely sexual point of view I have achieved everything I wanted from NoFap. It is possible.