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I don't know what I don't know. I want to find out.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by David K., Feb 9, 2018.

  1. David K.

    David K. Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    This feels really uncomfortable but it is time. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with how I interact with females and my sexuality. I can't exactly express what it is but I know it is off. It must be linked to my porn usage. I want to change and I have tried enough times to know I cannot do it alone.

    I am a 35 year old male. I found my first pornographic magazine in an alley behind my house when I was 12, and I have grown up at the speed of online porn development.

    Pornography has negatively affected my life for years. Since I don't know what it is like without this addiction, there are problems I don't even know are there.
    - I do not have choice over my behavior. This fact is demoralizing.
    - I have ED issues. This causes anxiety for both me and partners. Anger, lies, excuses, pain.
    - Warped perception. I don't know what normal is so the way I am is all that seems normal, but my intuition paired with the stories and videos on this topic have me convinced that my perception of sex and women is unnatural and warped.
    - My first marriage ended because of porn and sex addiction fuels escapades.
    - My second marriage is in trouble. She does not know about the porn, but the way I interact with her is somehow warped by my true partner porn.
    - Lies and secrets are heavy burdens.
    - Weakened masculinity.
    - Depression and anxiety.

    I have decided to stop using porn because I want to be the best person I can be. I want to be a better man.

    My chosen rebooting parameters are no porn or arousing images and no masturbation. Essentially no solo sexual stuff.

    I started yesterday on 2/8/2018

    Best,
    David
     
  2. infantry050

    infantry050 Fapstronaut

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    Been there brother... 38 years old... alot of the same story as you.. you can do this!! wish you all the best. Ive been actively fighting this for about 4 1/2 years. One thing I know that helped me was finding something positive about myself. If your gonna cold turkey like that.. Id be trying to line up all kinds of wins for yourself... good luck!!
     
    David K. likes this.
  3. infantry050

    infantry050 Fapstronaut

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    Just joined the site today as well ...
     

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