I don't know what the next step is for me

I'm a 25 y/o male virgin and never really dated before. I've had a few very short-term girlfriends back in high school, but they always came to me through friends. I was never really interested in them to take things further, so nothing ever took off beyond kissing and making out.

I don't feel shame or external pressure to have sex, but I'm really starting to crave women.

Why only now at 25 you may ask? Well, up until recently I've been fulfilling my needs through internet porn, and didn't have the drive to pursue real women. Many guys have girlfriends despite their porn use, but I'm not very outgoing, and mostly keep to myself, so porn has always been the easy answer for me.

I've also been struggling with negativity and depressive thoughts for most of my life, and I only recently realized that anesthetizing myself with porn has been a major crutch that has only made things worse in the long run.

So 29 days ago, I quit watching porn for good. I also haven't masturbated ever since, and I'm starting to genuinely crave real women for the first time in my life.

My brain is probably quite messed up seeing as I discovered porn at the age of 11, and have been consuming it on a regular basis up until recently, and I don't know what the next step is for me.

What do you think I should do?

 

I've tried rationalizing, but I'm a human being and it's perfectly natural to desire sex with a woman you like/love. Think about it, if it weren't for sex, you wouldn't even be here.

I'm pretty sure I have a pretty good plan to make this work even though I haven't figured out exactly how it will play out yet. Porn is out of my life for good; that's a given. However, I've also made the commitment to stop masturbating for as long as it takes for me to have sex. (Desperate times call for desperate measures, lol.) It can't be through prostitution though. I want it to be with a woman I'm genuinely attracted to and who's also genuinely attracted to me.

Once I allow my brain to heal long enough, not only will I be more confident, but I'm sure socializing and talking to women I have a sexual interest in will come naturally as well.

 

Thanks!

Trust me, it will. I quit watching porn because I was at my wit's end about feeling depressed all the time. I then realized that excessive PMO was the main culprit behind all that. I've been exercising and have had a perfect diet for years, yet the depression still persisted. I now realize that this was caused by dopamine resistance from years of PMO. I will keep at this no matter how crappy I feel, because I know that my dopamine receptors have to regenerate in order for me to feel joy again.

The clearer one's understanding of the process is, the easier it becomes to remain disciplined.
I recommend you read 'Your Brain on Porn' if you haven't already. It's why I started this whole thing in the first place.

 

I think my biggest issue, which is slowly starting to change, is that porn made me subconsciously view women as mere sex objects designed to bring me pleasure. It might feel good to watch porn, but it turns you into an awkward creep because your brain associates women with sex first and foremost. Just looking an attractive woman in the eye was making me uncomfortable because of what was going on in the back of my mind. I think this has proved particularly harmful for me, because a woman's face was always my main focus when watching porn.

Slowly but surely I'm getting to the point where I'm in control of my sexual thoughts. They don't overpower me and make me feel awkward anymore since I'm slowly undoing my brain's conditioned response to looking at an attractive woman's face.

 

After starting this thread not even a week ago, I already see the flaws in my thought process. I used the word "crave" with regard to women. I now realize that my desire for women was just my brain's desperate way of seeking orgasm now that I quit watching porn and masturbating. That isn't the right mindset to have. I have to keep abstaining until I'm fully comfortable in my own skin. I've already done plenty of things to improve myself, so this is really all that's left for me to feel good about myself and in control of my sexuality.