I booked an escort for sunday, first experience ever, anxious

Have fun crossing over from PMO addiction to sex addiction. It’s a whole new level of hell.

 

This is a really bad plan. Don't do it.

 

Because paying escorts for sex is a way of degrading women and degrading yourself. They really don't want your "very good hard cock". They probably want to be free of having to have shit sex with the kind of low-quality men who use pills and escorts in hotel rooms.

Be part of their solution and your own solution by not doing this.

If you do, and if you manage to have sex with any of these girls, I think you'll feel *really bad* soon afterwards, and will go through the rest of your life knowing your first sexual experience was a really bad one you had to pay for. You'll be reminded of it whenever a new girlfriend asks you about your "first time". You won't tell her because you'll know what she'll think of you if you do, and you'll be right.

Do yourself a favour and take an older guy's advice for once.

 

I can really understand your frustration because I lost my virginity in a massage parlor in New York City in 1976. It was a horrible experience; I was 18, had only kissed girls up to that point, and had been PMOing since I was at least 10. The girl was ok to look at, but I had no experience and couldn't orgasm during intercourse. Suffice it to say, I'm not proud or happy that my first sexual experience was with a woman I had to pay so I could orgasm. That experience was the first of countless encounters with prostitutes. It's only by the grace of God that I'm still alive and never caught an STD.

So off the top of my head:
1. Find a woman you can have a real relationship with; the emotional connection and sex will be better, much better.
2. Don't go to an escort because the event will never (repeat, NEVER) live up to the anticipation.
3. You'll avoid STDs if you avoid escorts.
4. You're smart enough to get your Masters; be smart enough to avoid escorts.
5. You'll regret the escort experience for the rest of your life.

I'm sure I could think of more, but take it from a 59 year old married man, who has struggled with PMO for over 50 years. Sex and emotional connection is always better with someone you love, not with someone you have to pay to be with you. A home cooked meal tastes way better than a meal served at a restaurant!

 

From what I can understand, you seem to be saying that you’ve replaced the PMO addiction and its accompanying effects with the thought of escorts and edging to these thoughts. I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’re still feeding the dopamine pathways to the brain which will keep your performance minimal during real sex. Getting morning wood because of no orgasm isn’t an indicator that anything has improved at all. You will likely have trouble performing with an escort because you haven’t re-conditioned your brain to be receptive to real sex yet. And finally, edging is worse than MO because of the constant dopamine you’re fueling your brain with.

The only thing you can do to get any chance of recovery is to quit edging or PMOing to anything. And stay away from all of it for awhile. Reboot.

 

Enjoy struggling with AIDS for the rest of your life. ...just kidding, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

 

This is a horrible idea.

First of all, escorts are PAID to act interested in you. But they're not interested in you, they're interested in getting paid. They could give a rip if you're hard or not. They screw other guys all the time. You think you're going to come in with your anxiety and rock their worlds? This is very likely to leave you feeling empty, inadequate, and hundreds of dollars poorer.

But if you're convinced this is a good idea, knock yourself out.

I know this sounds harsh, but sincerely, I can't advise against this strongly enough.

 

Oh brother.

Let's just get one thing straight: nobody "deserves" sex. The sooner you stop living life with that kind of ridiculous, entitled mindset, the better.

 

Horrible, terrible, awful idea here. You will be full of regret if you go through with it. Sex wasn’t meant to be sold as a product.

 

Very very bad idea. Read the book "Breaking the cycle: Free yourself from sex addiction" and you will see why. Good book. Very helpful for porn addiction and sex addiction, which you will now have both if you do this.

 

I disagree with some of the posts about escorts only being in it for money.

There are generally 3 categories of girls who escort
1) slaves (they're trafficked)
2) they're huge party girls or addicts
3) they're total freaks

There are a surprisingly high number of girls who do this because they're nymphomaniacs and can't get enough sex.
They can also be very skilled conversationalists and companions. They see alot of married men who just want the company of a young woman.
Think of them as actresses with an added menu.
I've been with... Dozens and dozens of these girls over the years. So here is my advice: Let's say you didn't have issues with women (I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I have issues with stuff we all do) and you dated as much as any average guy did and you had sex and stuff like what you could consider a normal did and you were out of town and the mood suited you and you called a girl up, that's fine. But if you're having these self esteem issues and you're considering those little blue pills this seems like a scenario you're not suited for yet. Focus on yourself. As alluring beautiful and charming as these girls can be, I don't think it's your time.

Maybe have a beer at a local strip club and shoot the shit with some of the girls just to see how you feel

 

Fair enough, maybe they're not in it only for money, but they're most definitely primarily in it for the money.

Let's state something that should be very obvious--if they weren't getting paid for it, 99% of them wouldn't be doing it.

 

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, terrible, horrible idea to do this.

I wrote a thread on escorts, hook-ups and the like a few months ago. I actually explained it better then than I can now.

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/sex-during-reboot-its-not-a-cure-all.140252/

 

I've thought about seeing an escort in the past, but never gone through with it because I know I will regret it after.

Say you start a relationship with nice girl are you going to tell you lost you've gone to see a prostitute? How do you think she'll feel if you tell her?

 

I got confused by that section in the OP. The internship was saying the OP deserves to have sex?

 

Gross.

 

Hehe I always had a good time