Input wanted

How long does it take you to get to where she is and how often can you see her assuming that's what she wants?

Talking through text doesn't really mean much. It's an interaction without any real commitment. Words lose meaning if it's not backed by action. If you two aren't consistently a part of each other's life in person, your paths will diverge more and more with each passing day. You're both starting new lives at colleges and will meet new people. People that are physically there.

Even if it's mutual, you two will have good intentions at first, but it takes a lot of work to make a relationship work and even more work to make a long distance relationship work.

Where do you see you two going if things go smoothly?

Why not focus on meeting new people?

You're investing a lot into her after only one date. If it was mutual, why aren't things made clear between you two before moving to different colleges? If it wasn't clear then, why would it be clear now that you two are over 100 miles apart?

These are questions you need to think about before devoting years of yourself for a woman that is potentially unavailable to you and might not share the same level of commitment to the relationship as you do.

 

Do what you want. Doesn't matter if it's wrong or right. No matter the consequences, if this is what you feel is right at this point of your life, then do it. Take responsibility of the consequences, but do what you want. You'll learn something from the experience no matter what. Trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way. Don't worry about words like oneitis. Just do what you want.

 

I also had serious oneitus in the past. Didn't work out, but I wouldn't erase that experience from my past. It made me who I am today and I love who I am. The outcome doesn't matter as long as you're proud of your actions.

 

Sounds healthy to me, dude. Have fun getting to know a new friend!

 

You’re just as likely to find someone new as she is. That isn’t to say either of you will. If it did end now, would the experience have been worth it? It sounds like it would have.

 

Here are my thoughts: If you have a bad PMO habit, and you want to spend time with a girl, you can and will often appear needy. If you have stopped PMO, and are moving forward towards your goals in life, then I would assume that nature will ensure that you don't appear needy. That's just my assumption though. Logically speaking, if you are living well, and you want to call a girl, or visit a girl, then it will probably come across without the appearance of neediness. But when you aren't living well, that's when we put girls off. You have to assume that God set this up so that under normal circumstances, everything should work smoothly. It's when we aren't living naturally, that things go hayware. In other words, you should be able to follow your feelings, doing what you want to do (like give her a hug when you want to, or say that thing you really want to say) and if your life is being lived well, then she should welcome your feelings, words and actions. Anyway, those are my thoughts on the topic.

 

Oh, and I'll say one more thing, something I think you already know. If you keep holding back from what you really want to do, like hold her, or saying that thing you really want to say, she will drop you for a guy who isn't afraid to take action. That's a fact. She is looking for a guy who will bend her over, pull her hair, and spank her ass. If that's not you, some guy will eventually come along and give her those things. Nice guys finish last. I believe that deep down you know this is true.

The key to all of this is that you state what you want. You shouldn't ask for what you want. You should always state what you want. That's the key. Say: "I really want to give you a hug," not: "Can I give you a hug?" Another example: "I have some time free this weekend, and I'd love to visit you." Don't say: "Can I come visit you this weekend?" Do you see how stating what you want sounds masculine, and asking sounds effeminate and weak?

 

I agree.

I hope you decide to rethink this, brother. Consider the possibility that this thought comes from a history of excessive porn use.

Your way of phrasing what you want is very straightforward. I like it. But you seem to be drawing a connection between masculinity and confidence as though they were mutually exclusive.

You aren’t describing a healthy woman as she exists in every day life. You’re describing a sexual object as it exists in your healing mind.

 

There is a reason why 50 shades of grey was so popular. It wasn't guys with porn addictions who were lining up to watch it.

 

50 shades of grey is porn. There is a reason why porn is so popular. That does not mean you should act out what you see and read about without consent and intimacy. Fantasy isn’t unhealthy; nor is it the foundation of a healthy relationship.

 

Mankrik's Wife? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

You won’t ever forget her. Relax and keep on doing your thing. You’re doing a great job for someone so young.

 

It’s good that you seemingly have a connection with this girl. My suggestion would be to recognize, if you haven’t already, that you don’t need a significant other in your life to be happy.

Go with the tides of life. Don’t be afraid to take chances, but don’t be reckless either. Understand that if this doesn’t work out it will not be the end of the world. Ruminating about what is the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ things to do and how they are perceived just complicates things.

All in all, she seems like she’s interested in you, so I wouldn’t try so hard to be impressive. Be yourself - it’s got you this far.